Is losing a pet like losing a child?

[Survey]

Is losing a pet like losing a child?

My response: I don't think so. You can't even begin to compare losing a child to losing a pet. I've lost a child. My middle son was killed when he fell off the back of a pickup when he was with some friends. I can't begin to explain to you how that loss feels.

Sorry if it seemed like I wasn't being sympathetic mranderson, but the loss of a pet doesn't even begin to compare to the loss of a child.

[bandnerd]

It depends on the person, Survey. Not everyone wants/has children and we can't all compare situations equally.

[Patrick]

Well, Survey, I do agree with what you're trying to say. You really can't compare losing a dog to losing a for real child. But, still, I think the point is that mranderson lost a great friend and he's mourning the loss.

[Karried]

It is true that everyone is entitled to their feelings but for those who don't have children, you really cannot compare how parents might feel when they lose a child to losing a pet.

It is insensitive to those who have lost children.

(I'm hoping that someone doesn't post something that will hurt those who have lost a child - please be sensitive).

The loss of a child is the worst pain imaginable.. forever life changing. Parents will never be the same. I know many people who have lost children and they never recover from that loss. They learn to go on but there is always a feeling of sadness surrounding them.

One of my builder friends lost his 21 year old son a few days before Christmas almost 6 months ago... he is still breaking down and feeling suicidal.. those without children might think that sounds strange but it's very common. If you ask any parent who has lost a child, they will tell you the same thing.

It is the fear I live with that one of my children will be hurt or get sick - it is so overwhelming at times. Ask any parent who has pets and children, they will all tell you in a heartbeat that the loss of a child is so incredibly heartwrenching and life altering compared to losing a pet.

I've lost many pets and I've recovered - I would never be the same if I lost a child.

The loss of a pet is sad but it is expected. Pets don't live as long as people.
Parents are supposed to die before their children from old age, not the other way around.

This is so hard to describe to people that don't have children! Some people just don't understand.. I didn't either until I had them..

But, ask any parent who has kids.. were they surprised by the love and protectiveness they felt? Did they expect to feel this way?

I'm not saying that grieving for a pet is wrong but to compare it to a loss of a child is really not fair.

[Rambo]

I'm not saying that grieving for a pet is wrong but to compare it to a loss of a child is really not fair.

I agree completely. In fact, comparing the loss of a pet to the loss of a child is quite silly, if you ask me.

[bandnerd]

But to sit here and gripe about how people who don't have kids won't ever understand is completely unnecessary. It's almost like you don't feel that losing a long-time pet is that big a deal. I get really tired of people who have kids telling me "I just don't understand." I think it's a little presumptuous to tell me what I do and do not understand.

Not all of us want kids, it doesn't make us understand loss of a loved one any less than anyone else.

[Ralph_Kramden]

Death effects people in somany different ways.

I agree I do not see a pet in the same light as a child.

To play devils advocate for a moment:
I could see how someone could see his or her pet as a child.
Some people who cannot have kids or maybe they have not had the best of luck at meeting someone to have children of their own. Therefore, they let roll of taking care of a pet replace the roll of raising a child. I see many elderly people let pets replace the roll people had in there lives. Their family members do not come around anymore or maybe most of their family has passed on and they are scared to make friends. When a person gets used to a living breathing thing being there everyday of their life for a long period it can be hard to accept it when it does die. I live on my own and Henry my dachshund greets me wagging his tail everytime come in the door. When it is his time to go I will be sad but, I will get passed it. If a person cannot get over a death they should talk to a friend or counselor.

[Karried]

But to sit here and gripe about how people who don't have kids won't ever understand is completely unnecessary

This is so hard to describe to people that don't have children! Some people just don't understand.. I didn't either until I had them..

I hardly think expressing an opinion is sitting here griping. I'm answering a question that was asked.

And I said ' some people' not all people. And I didn't say 'will never understand' I said 'some people just don't understand'.

And to imply that I don't think losing a long term pet is a big deal is dead wrong. I've repeatedly said to MrAnderson that I'm sympathetic to his loss and that his pain and grief are very real and I'm very sorry for the loss of his pet.

But, in my opinion, the answer to the question is no, losing a pet is not the same as losing a child. Ask someone who has lost both...

[Rambo]

mranderson used the description of a human parent and a pet child. I think that's absolutely ridiculous. There's no way to even begin to compare the two. One is a dog, the other a human.

I agree with something that was said. If mranderson is still crying in his webcam 6 months later, counseling is in order.

[wolf2006]

Hmmm, this thread seems strangely familiar to the one that was just closed.

[sweetdaisy]

I agree, wolf 2006...nothing like starting a new thread to continue the bashing.

But, in my opinion, the answer to the question is no, losing a pet is not the same as losing a child. Ask someone who has lost both...

Karried, someone who has both children and pets probably will not feel the same about their pet as someone who does NOT have children. If pets are all someone has, then the bond is much stronger for them...so apparently YOU don't understand.

I'm not saying that grieving for a pet is wrong but to compare it to a loss of a child is really not fair.

Fair to whom? This doesn't even make sense.

When someone has nothing else to compare it to, the loss of a pet may very well be the equivalent of losing a child to that person. What's not fair is someone expressing his feelings about the loss of his beloved dog and having people badger him about it and tell him he's wrong for feeling like he's lost his child.

There are MANY people in this world who have pets that are like children to them. Just because they didn't give birth to that pet doesn't make the bond any less important to them. Shame on you folks who are belittling someone's love for their pet.

[Keith]

Hmmm, this thread seems strangely familiar to the one that was just closed.

Geez, Louise.....I could have sworn I closed a thread on this subject yesterday. We will see where this one goes, but if you guys start bashing each other again, this thread will go bye bye also. So, let's play nice, and show :respect: .

[Karried]

Karried, someone who has both children and pets probably will not feel the same about their pet as someone who does NOT have children. If pets are all someone has, then the bond is much stronger for them...so apparently YOU don't understand.

I guess I have been fortunate in some respects that a pet wasn't 'all I had' so possibly I don't understand the bond or concept of putting so much emphasis on a pet relationship as some here do.

It's also possible that since you haven't lost a child that you can't understand how a grieving parent might feel either after reading that the loss of an animal is the same as losing a child.

But, I have had and lost pets before I had children and yes I DO understand the difference.. I was devastated when I had to put my beloved cat down because of feline leukemia and again, my German Shepherd because of severe hip displasia and it was very painful but I've also had miscarriages in which I've lost babies. The grief I felt was more than unbearable, so please, until you've lost both, I don't think you can really say I DON'T understand.. I understand all too well.

Shame on you folks who are belittling someone's love for their pet.

I'm not belittling anyone's love for their pet.. a question was asked and I am answering the question as a parent.

If and when you do have children, you might have a little more insight on this issue.

The loss of anything we love is painful. Comparing grief isn't productive.. but my point is that we need to be sensitive to parents who have lost children. With the exception of a few posters, everyone has been very compassionate about the grief someone is feeling over the loss of a pet.

[MadMonk]

I agree with Karried. If you don't have children its very hard to understand the difference. Before I had kids, I felt the very same way about my pets as Mr. Anderson does. Once you have kids, the pets sort of go into the background in terms of importance to you. I'm not saying they aren't important, but just so much less than your kids. Its difficult to explain really.

With that said, I can certainly empathize with those who don't have kids and lose pets. In their hearts, their pets are truly like their kids and thier loss should be equally respected.

[Mean_Chic]

Is losing a pet like losing a child?

My response: I don't think so. You can't even begin to compare losing a child to losing a pet. I've lost a child. My middle son was killed when he fell off the back of a pickup when he was with some friends. I can't begin to explain to you how that loss feels.

Sorry if it seemed like I wasn't being sympathetic mranderson, but the loss of a pet doesn't even begin to compare to the loss of a child.

No way, no comparison! I have always said that they are like my children but no way could the loss compare!

[sweetdaisy]

To all of you who have kids, I give my deepest and sincerest praise and admiration. I don't know how you do it.

Today I took my dog to doggie daycare...she has some socialization issues and is very timid. I thought it might help her to be around other dogs. Well within an hour, she jumped the 6 foot fence and took us on a 2 hour search to find her. I'm exhausted and emotionally drained and still in pain after I had to make myself accept the fact that she may never come home. Fortunately, we did find her. But during that time, I agonized about my girl.

Is losing a pet like losing a child? I really don't know...but I can say that I had great admiration for those of you who are brave enough to have kids and send them out into the world every day. I'm not sure I could ever do it.

[Karried]

OH my! How terrifying! I'm so glad you found her!

[Lekatt]

I think the key word here is love. I have pets and children. It is very hard to lose a pet, and equally hard to lose a child depending on the love you attach to them.

Some people don't care about their kids, and are glad when they leave the house.

I knew a man who grieved the loss of his dog so much it interfered with his work. I was his boss and understood his need to grieve. He eventually came to terms with the loss as everyone should whether child or pet.

So the key factor is how much do you love, not the relative value of child verses pet. Those who can love deeply will understand and others will not.

Recovery from the loss depends on what you believe about the meaning of life.

Love