Stalkers and Abusive People

[Rooster_Cogburn]

I saw a disturbing story on News9 a couple of night ago. They were discussing Victim's Protective orders and the process people had to go through to get them. For some it was to keep a stalker at bay for others it was to a control to stop abuse.

Here are my pointers to dealing with stalkers and abusive people.

If your are the victim of a stalker or abuse:

Make a clean break from the relationship. That means no contact whatsoever. Tell the person the relationship is over make the point clear that you do not want to see them again. If you have to bring a witness with you when you tell them. That way if you have to take legal action someone can testify you did end the relationship.

For everyone else:

When someone tell you it is over. Break off contact for at least 3-6 months. You need time heal and rebuild. Do not bother asking for a second chance. For most people break ups are not easy and it takes a long time to make that descision. Nothing you say will change their mind because in their mind the case is closed.

My philosophy is when your asked to leave....leave. Grab your things and do not look back. Move on to the next episode of love. Regardless of what you think you will find it again. Who knows the next person maybe the one you have been dreaming of who will put your ex to shame.

In a nutshell never abuse your loved one, if you are abused get help break it off, if your the one that is being dumped leave. At least then you will still have a little pride and self worth that will help you rebuild your life.

[sweetdaisy]

Excellent advice, Rooster. You nailed it.

[Leon]

I didn't see the story. Is it really difficult for someone to get a PO? I thought that if someone's safety was threatened, they could get a PO in a few hours.

[kellekokid]

probably the proving it is the main holdup. They are times when it is very obvious a person is being stalked or abused but then others that it is more subtle and would there for take the legal system time to prove it. Maybe I'm wrong just seems to me it might work that way.

[Leon]

probably the proving it is the main holdup. They are times when it is very obvious a person is being stalked or abused but then others that it is more subtle and would there for take the legal system time to prove it. Maybe I'm wrong just seems to me it might work that way.

I didn't think you'd need proof....A PO would be issued, pending proof.

[kellekokid]

I didn't think you'd need proof....A PO would be issued, pending proof.

that seems kinda backwards to me, like you could get that issued against just anybody. But you're probably right.

[Oki_Man5]

I do not think that is right---that was the gist of part of the show (at least the one I saw) that the accused got to face his accuser. I surely hope that just any tom, dick or harry or Kelliekokid or daisy can not go down and plop down a few bucks and the PO is handed out like buying a lottery ticket.

There are real consequences to having a PO issued against you like losing my concealed-carry license for one, and it should not be taken lightly.

Now, I will say too that a stalker or abuser should face the barrel of a 12 gauge shotgun instead of a PO, but that is just my thought.