Honest Communication?

[Leon]

Can you accept a lover if they do not enjoy/tolerate the things that you are most interested in?....Can you allow your lover to enjoy his/her likes while you stay at home alone?

[dirtrider73068]

No I couldn't, if she can't accept what my hobbies and likes are, then she can keep on trucking. I look at this way, either she likes me for me, who I am, what I am and for what I can do or she can hit the road. I will not change for anybody they accept it or leave its that simple. And no I couldn't stay at home alone while she went and did what she liked unless I had the same chance. I gave my current/ex that chance I could what I wanted in turn she could do what she wanted, that changed and she blamed me for being gone to much. I spent time with family members I don't see much and that didn't sit well with me, caused fights. Its a two way street, scratch my back, I scratch yours. I have been doped over way too many times to be easy, I refuse to do it anymore.

[Keith]

Can you accept a lover if they do not enjoy/tolerate the things that you are most interested in?....Can you allow your lover to enjoy his/her likes while you stay at home alone?

Although I am married, I have learned that open and honest communication is the best answer. Never hide anything from her. I have several hobbies that I thoroughly enjoy..ie, this forum, listening to my police scanner, surfing the internet......she isn't involved in any of this.

She likes crafts, shopping, sending encouragement cards, visiting with people, and decorating. I like none of the above, and she knows it. Does it hurt our relationship? No. I know when I can enjoy my hobbies, and she knows when she can enjoy hers. As long as we have had open communication, we know how the other one feels. I have never changed my lifestyle or hobbie for anyone, and neither has she. The interesting thing is that, although our interests are different, we have a great relationship doing other things together.

Yes, I will go shopping with her occassionally, and give my opinions on decorating, while at the same time, I will show her different websites on the computer that she could enjoy. We meet in the middle and it works out very well.

I trust her enough to go out with her lady friends, while I stay at home and rest or get on the computer, and she trusts me going out while she stays home. I realize that it would be a little different scenario if I was single, but I thought I would give you a "married" mans perspective.