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Thread: More Thoughts

  1. #1

    Default More Thoughts

    Anyone ever wonder why there are more single men here than single women? Ever wonder why there are more single men than women in night clubs? Ever wonder why there is an order of magnitude more men than women on the personals sites such as yahoo, match.com, eharmony when the world's population is about 50/50 men and women?

    It's because men need companionship more than women do.

  2. Default Re: More Thoughts

    I have thought about this myself and have not yet found the answer.

  3. #3

    Default Re: More Thoughts

    It is as Leon said.....Men need companionship more than women do. Women dont need us...they dont look for the emotion as much as men do..I heard a song on the radio today by Patty Booker that just made my blood boil the name of it is "Hell yes I Cheated" and in the song she says she knew it was wrong, but she'd do it again...and that has been the mentality of the last four women I have been with.

  4. Default Re: More Thoughts

    Come on guys you gotta know we women like and need companionship too! I think we have different ways of finding it (I don't mean by cheating) We have girl/ friends that we can chat all day with or just hang out and be relaxed. We don't look for companionship with just one person. (Again I don't mean by cheating!) We can find it with lots of friends. Now having that special person to be with is great and very much wanted/needed by we women we just don't look for it from one source. Sometimes guys bring a totally different aspect into things... I don't know why but I can't help but think of some of the things guys do to bug us girls...why is it that you "boys" love to do that? we might just love the song on the radio you have to change it, or honey it really bugs me when you do_____ which of course means you guys have to do it all the more. I realize that is off topic but that is something you all do...Dads, brothers, sig. others, friend, it doesn't matter you all do and you know you do! lol

  5. #5

    Default Re: More Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Leon
    Anyone ever wonder why there are more single men here than single women? Ever wonder why there are more single men than women in night clubs? Ever wonder why there is an order of magnitude more men than women on the personals sites such as yahoo, match.com, eharmony when the world's population is about 50/50 men and women?

    It's because men need companionship more than women do.

    With the people I know, it is the women that show the need for companionship more than the men. It seems to me as men have an easy time finding companionship with their guy buddies. Yes women have girl friends they like to talk too and hang out with but really what they want is the companionship from their man. I think women want the commitment of a relationship more than men want or need it. It seems like it takes most men many years to mature to this way of thinking.

    I wonder why it is that there are more single men in those area's than single women. Maybe its because some women don't search in night clubs, and personal sites for their companion.
    When it rains it pours... but when the blessings come they overflow!

  6. #6

    Default Re: More Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by okcgoddess
    With the people I know, it is the women that show the need for companionship more than the men. It seems to me as men have an easy time finding companionship with their guy buddies. Yes women have girl friends they like to talk too and hang out with but really what they want is the companionship from their man. I think women want the commitment of a relationship more than men want or need it. It seems like it takes most men many years to mature to this way of thinking.

    I wonder why it is that there are more single men in those area's than single women. Maybe its because some women don't search in night clubs, and personal sites for their companion.
    My woman bashing days are behind me now so I want to take extra care not to be argumentative here.

    The root of the problem is that many, if not the vast majority of men, find it extremely difficult to approach a woman they do not know. (Nearly as difficult as delivering a speach in public.) Women, on the other hand, do not have to approach. They need only to glance and smile twice or more....When she's attracted to the man this comes naturally and she may not even realize that she's done it. This tells us guys that if we're turned down, it won't be rude or embarrassing. The smiling, glancing women get approached because the chances of success appear greater, and not just for sexual success.

    So women can catch a man at a bus stop, grocery store, JC Penney, wherever. But men hit the clubs because there are more women in a small area to increase their chances of finding that ONE who'll smile at them, even if there is a smaller number of women than men, there are still more women there than anywhere else they may go.

    So for the sake of discussion, seriously, doesn't it stand to reason that if women need companionship more men, women would seek it?

  7. #7
    Jay Guest

    Default Re: More Thoughts

    Everyone I know that is in a successful relationship met everywhere but a nightclub. I only know of one couple that met over the internet and they met five years ago when online dating was still a novelty and not the $30-$60 investment it is now.



    The people I know that are in successful relationships met by chance and they were not trying to date each other when they met. They spent time together and one thing led to another. In other words being active and allowing spontaneity to run its course made their relationship work.



    In my opinion, bars and online personals are for people who are desperate or just looking for a quick romp in bedroom.



    I am not saying this to be rude or anything. I am saying this because I know. I have tried both and everyone I hooked up with wanted an instant relationship or quick fling.



    Relationships are not born overnight. Casual sex only lasts until you grow tired of each other. There has to be bond between the two of you or it will never work.


  8. Default Re: More Thoughts

    I agree with Jay... things really head south whenever I've been in seek mode. I know it's hard sometimes being content with single-dom (I've not discovered the secret entirely). My current dilema involves me liking a guy and him not wanting to be in a relationship! It's my hope that he's got a hang-up about a previous relationship and it's not just him not wanting to be in a relationship with me! I don't know and only time will tell... whenever I do get to hang out with him, which is a rare thing, I relish that time...and at the same it makes me want to date him all the more... so it's frustrating! Any advice guys?

    ps. I've missed you all! I'm glad you didn't delete my account!! The good news- I passed boards! I should be around more often now! Any group outings in the works? I still haven't been to a hornets game!

  9. Default Re: More Thoughts

    oops.. got click happy! :spin:

  10. #10

    Default Re: More Thoughts

    welcome back osupa and congratulations

    But as far as advice all I can offer is probably not what you want to hear...many time I've been interested in wanting to get to know better and see if anything might happen for a relationship and found that they either just did not seem to want to spend time to do that or anything. So I've ended up eventually trying to get myself to let them just be friends and keep in touch and occasionally one of them will come back and surprise you later knowing who you are then and everything

  11. Default Re: More Thoughts

    Why is it that when a person's in "seek" mode, things tend to go downhill? Does the person come across as desperate? It's really an odd phenomenon.

  12. Default Re: More Thoughts

    I don't know... I think that when I'm looking, I'm looking because I'm unhappy with my current state and want somebody, and I think guys can sense that...Then it's a vicious cycle because I want somebody all the more and can't find anyone! If I'm not out to find somebody then that's when it seems like somebody shows up (but not all the time!).

  13. Default Re: More Thoughts

    I've stopped working in "seek mode". I'm just going to relax for a while and not worry about it. Although, then I have to ensure I'm not coming off as "aloof and uncaring", aka unapproachable.

    Have you also noticed you can be single for long periods of time with no "hits", and then as soon as you start dating someone, singles start crawling out of the woodwork interested in you?

  14. #14

    Default Re: More Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by osupa05
    I don't know... I think that when I'm looking, I'm looking because I'm unhappy with my current state and want somebody, and I think guys can sense that...Then it's a vicious cycle because I want somebody all the more and can't find anyone! If I'm not out to find somebody then that's when it seems like somebody shows up (but not all the time!).
    Osupa..it works the same for guys as well. Guys dont see the same things women see, as far as desperation goes, we dont see it like women do. If we have a good looking woman that is interested in us we are usually all over it. But women have total control over relationships, here anyway, so they usually make the rules for the game. I can say this, here I have avery hard time approaching women, but when I am there I have no problem at all because the women in Oklahoma are so much freindlier than the women in Michigan. I need to find an Oklahoma woman I think :spin:

  15. #15
    Jay Guest

    Default Re: More Thoughts

    First of all osupa05 its sounds like to me that your career goals may have prevented you from spending quality time with the people you dated.



    That may have forced you consciously or unconsciously to be overbearing. This may have led the people you dated to tell you that they did not want a relationship.



    I think the best thing a person can do is to take his or her time when dating someone. Let fate and or God (whichever one you believe in) run the show. Just focus on having fun and getting to know the person. Do not do anything more or less than that. If a relationship is meant to be it will happen regardless if you ask or not.



    I think when a person actively searches the overbearing personality takes over and scares the hell out of everyone else.



    Just have fun when you are dating someone. Let fate and God do the rest.

  16. Default Re: More Thoughts

    I agree whole-heartedly... do I do that, though? Nope, not very often! Blah!

  17. Default Re: More Thoughts

    Wouldn't it be great if the singles organized a summer cruise out of Galveston? You'd have 7 months to save for it... everyone drive down and cruise for a week to Cancun or somewhere similar....

    Mariner could fly in, Leon can organize, Jay can lead tour excursions, everyone else can sneak alcohol in their luggage!

    http://www.cruisingforlove.com/

    http://cruises.about.com/od/singlescruises/

    For the more adventurous, when I was 21, I went to Jamaica (Hedonism yeah, yeah I know - wild) but had the best time of my life... I also went to Hawaii with the same girlfriend.. we had so much fun and I've never regretted traveling while young... I say go now while you look great and toned because we all get older and start not to look as great and toned! ( It always bothers me when people work their whole lives to travel when they retire and then are so physically limited that they can't enjoy it) Life's too short...
    " You've Been Thunder Struck ! "

  18. #18

    Default Re: More Thoughts

    Sounds like a good time to me Karrie.

  19. #19

    Default Re: More Thoughts

    Whoa Karrie...Hedonism? Ya have a little wild side to ya? where have you been all my life, LOL. My buddy tried to get me to go, and I must admit I thought about it, sounds kinda interesting.

  20. #20

    Default Re: More Thoughts

    And it is too late for me to go while I look toned and great, that was a few years ago. Well I was toned anyway, never great . Eatin out and drinking beer took it's toll on me.

  21. Default Re: More Thoughts

    Does it bother anyone else that Karried seems to be more "tuned in" to the single's scene that we are? Hmmm...Karried, what's the deal?

  22. #22

    Default Re: More Thoughts

    I think she is just trying to teach us from her own experiences to save us the pain of trying to learn ourselves

  23. #23
    amethystgirl Guest

    Default Re: More Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay
    [color=black]I think the best thing a person can do is to take his or her time when dating someone. Let fate and or God (whichever one you believe in) run the show. Just focus on having fun and getting to know the person. Do not do anything more or less than that. If a relationship is meant to be it will happen regardless if you ask or not.[color=black]Just have fun when you are dating someone. Let fate and God do the rest.
    I agree with you, Jay. I am going to focus on having fun, being myself and getting to know the person(s) and see what happens.
    I have learned that you have to be happy and content with yourself. Otherwise, you seek approval from everyone else. I am not a size 5.....I do not weigh 110 pounds.....I am not gorgeous.........I have good days and bad days.....I am ME.

  24. #24

    Default Re: More Thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by amethystgirl
    I am ME.
    And that is all that matters...just be you. In Popeyes words, "I am what I am, and thats all that I am"..and if that aint good enough for someone... too bad.

  25. Default Re: More Thoughts

    Mariner, did you seriously just quote Popeye? Oh good grief...

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