mranderson used me

[Linda]

This isn't meant to be an attack, but I wanted to share some information with the singles on this forum. Be aware of mranderson. He and I had been forming an email relationship for the past month or so and we were ready to move to the next level. Then he comes out today and tells me he's been seeing another lady since April, and now he just moved in with her. He's doing all this, while he's wishing God's blessings on me and saying farewell. That's being hypocritical in my opinion.
If he's been seeing this woman all this time and living with her recently, he was obviously using me. I don't want you generous people to be used like I was used. Just giving you a warning.

Does this guy really think he can be a councilman someday?


Here's his email:

I have debated on how to reply to the last three emails and need to get quite serious in my reply.

Thre is someone I have been emailing in addition to you. We have seen each other off and on since April, but I didn't know where it would lead... Until recently. I think a great deal of our emails, and always will, however, it would not be fair to you to hide what is happening. The relationship with her has made a sudden turn in a serious direction, and has grown exclusive.

I find you quite attractive, and quite appealing, however, I made the decision to not only see her, but live with her as well. Words can not express how sorry I am as I know this will hurt you a great deal. She and I have an in person history versus you and I have only emailed. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Again, I am truly sorry. It hurts me to send this message because I had no way of knowing where I would be at the time we started emailing.

May God bless you and keep you in his loving arms. I will always be here for you in spirit.

mranderson

[Patrick]

After reviewing this thread, we decided that since it was factual, we'd merely edit for content.

[Linda]

Sorry to plaster this here. I'm just extremely hurt by this man. I feel so used and taken advantage of. I thought he was a good man wanting to start a relationship with me. He sounded so sincere. Then I come to find out that at the same time he's contacting me and building a relationship with me, he's moving in with another woman. I'll try to refrain from discussing any more about this. I only wanted to let you know what one of your most active members did to me.

Sorry for any trouble this may have caused.

[Rev. Bob]

Linda, I know this must be extremely hurtful for you. Unfortunately, we live in a day and age so absent of truth and faithfulness. Keep your head up. You'll find someone special, who won't take advantage of you, use you, and only want to "shack up" with you. You are in my prayers.

[Linda]

This was just such a horrible time for this to happen to me. I leave this weekend for St. Louis. I was part of Sigma Kappa Sorority in my college days, and every year I participate in their annual alumni beauty pageant. I'll have to get over this emotional hurt quickly. Right now I simply don't feel very good about myself, and esteem is what I'll need to get me through that event.

[Linda]

Well, I'm not going to let Rob Anderson intefere with my weekend. If you put our pictures side by side, we don't look right together anyways.

[Leon]

I'll make no comment except to say I hope you feel better very quickly. Hopefully you hadn't counted too much on this relationship.

[dirtrider73068]

I know how you feel linda I have been used and still feel that way to this day. Alot of a reason I keep to myself and take care of my kids. I know all about the self esteem mine is broke and at a low to but I am building it back slowly but am bounceing back.

[mranderson]

No one used her. I made a decision based on what I felt was right. Linda and I had never met in person, and yes. At one point I was considering meeting. I will not go into detail because it is a private matter.

I really do not know what she is really thinking or anything else. The funny thing is she kept saying apperance did not matter. Plus, the picture she posted was an old picture that many people know is not accurate anymore. The picture in my OKC Talk t-shirt is the accurate one. She said she liked that one.

With that said, I have a request. You may comfort her all you want because if she is really hurt, that was never my intention. Sometimes people just are not chosen. Many of you know the number of times I have been that person, and yes, I moaper, but never put that person down. I would appreciate it if any further comment on my new home be kept private. That information should never have been released. It is a private matter that only the woman I am sharing my life with and I have the right to release, and to who WE so choose.

Please move on. Thank you.

[Linda]

No one used her. I made a decision based on what I felt was right. Linda and I had never met in person, and yes. At one point I was considering meeting. I will not go into detail because it is a private matter.

You were trying to form a relationship with me and plan a meeting in person at the same time you were planning on moving in with this other chick. I call that being used.

I really do not know what she is really thinking or anything else. The funny thing is she kept saying apperance did not matter. Plus, the picture she posted was an old picture that many people know is not accurate anymore. The picture in my OKC Talk t-shirt is the accurate one. She said she liked that one.

Appearance still doesn't matter. It's your lack of integrity and faithfulness that upsets me.

With that said, I have a request. You may comfort her all you want because if she is really hurt, that was never my intention. Sometimes people just are not chosen.

If I wasn't chosen than you should've told me earlier, instead of trying to form a relationship with me and get my hopes up, when all along you knew you were getting close to this other woman. That's just wrong. What I don't understand is that if you'd been seeing this woman for so long, why did you try to start a relationship with me while you were still seeing her? You weren't being faithful to her or me.

Many of you know the number of times I have been that person, and yes, I moaper, but never put that person down. I would appreciate it if any further comment on my new home be kept private. That information should never have been released. It is a private matter that only the woman I am sharing my life with and I have the right to release, and to who WE so choose.

Please move on. Thank you.

If it was so private, you shouldn't have shared it with me. Heck, from the way you talk, you barely know me. And yet, you'd share information about your private love life with me? Ha!

The truth hurts sometimes.

[Rev. Bob]

Guys, guys. This really isn't that big of a deal. mranderson didn't commit the eternal sin. Exorcism can take care of it all. Meet me at church Sunday and we'll chat behind the curtain. Wait a minute! I'm not a Catholic priest! Okay, so I'll pray that the demons of fornication and adultery escape and that the spirit of goodness and integrity enter in.

[Rev. Bob]

This prayer might help.

PRAYER FOR DELIVERANCE
My Lord, You are all powerful, You are God, You are Father. We beg You through the intercession and help of the archangels Michael, Raphael, and Gabriel, for the deliverance of our brothers and sisters who are enslaved by the evil one. All saints of heaven, come to our aid.
From anxiety, sadness, and obsessions, We beg You: Free us, O Lord. From hatred, fornication, envy, We beg You: Free us, O Lord. From thoughts of jealousy, rage, and death. We beg You: Free us, O Lord. From every thought of suicide and abortion. We beg You: Free us, O Lord. From every form of sinful sexuality. We beg You: Free us, O Lord. From every division in our family, and every harmful friendship. We beg You: Free us, O Lord. From every sort of spell, malefice, witchcraft, and every form of the occult. We beg You: Free us, O Lord.

Lord, You Who said, "I leave you peace, my peace I give you," grant that, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, we may be liberated from every evil spell and enjoy Your peace always. In the Name of Christ, our Lord. Amen."

[Rev. Bob]

Actually, here are some statistics for everyone to consider.

The Hard Line
Shacking Up? Consider this...

By R. Cort Kirkwood
July 26, 2002

(AgapePress) - Like the “news” we hear from most other sociological studies, the latest from the Centers for Disease Control isn’t news at all. Shacking up before marriage, the federal disease detectives say, increases the chance of divorce.

However predictable, CDC’s new data on marriage merely ratify an obvious truth:We live in a divorce culture that says marriages were made to be broken.

The Reasons
The statistics from CDC are just what we’d expect:

While little or no religious faith and low income portend divorce, which at the 43% rate is a contagion, CDC found that 40% of marriages that grow from “cohabitation” ended within ten years. In contrast, divorce occurs in 31% of marriages wherein the couples did not shack up.

The reason, one observer told Associated Press, is that “many people enter a cohabiting relationship where the deal is, ‘If this doesn’t work out we can split up and it’s no big loss because we don’t have a legal commitment,’ " she said. “The commitment is tenuous, and that tenuous commitment might carry over into marriage.”

No kidding. But the commitments are “tenuous” because they are joined to gratify concupiscence, not to offer unconditional love to another with the goal of becoming one. People shack up for the convenient sex. You don’t have to go home on a cold night after it’s over.

And once the shoes are under the bed permanently, ending the “relationship” is much more difficult than if the shoes had not moved in. Retreating from an ill-considered “engagement” during “cohabitation” requires Herculean emotional and psychological strength.

So one or both parties are channeled toward that “tenuous” marriage. Result? Divorce.

The Wrong View of Marriage
But the CDC inadvertently identified another “factor” that explains the divorces where the spouses did not live together before marriage.

Quoting a “marriage expert” who toils for the federal government, AP reports, “part of the problem may be attitudes toward cohabitation are different than attitudes about marriage .... When living together, [the “expert”] said, the attitude is ‘I vow to stay together with you as long as you make me happy.’

“In a marriage, people focus on making their partners happy. ‘If you’re used to viewing being together as a test of the other person’s ability to take care of your needs, once you get married it’s hard to just switch that,’ ” the “expert” said.

Happy? Needs? The “expert” just doesn’t get it. No wonder the federal government hired him.

Marriage was not ordained to make you happy. It was ordained to make you better. The main duty for each spouse is not fulfilling the “needs” of the other, however selfless the effort.

The principal duty for spouses, at least in a Christian marriage, is to help each other get to heaven. This is what should make us happy, and even married atheists or others who don’t share the Christian view of marriage should strive to become better human beings -- not gratify egoistic urges.

A Sacred Bond
Which brings us back to the beginning.

The prevailing, legalistic view of marriage as a “tenuous commitment” is ripened in a culture that no longer views marriage as an indissoluble and sacred bond or sacrament joined by God. Today, marriage is a “contract” either husband or wife can break because they aren‘t “happy.”

Until that changes, until society understands marriage the old-fashioned way, the CDC reports won’t much improve.

[Rev. Bob]

mranderson, I'm not a big Dr. Laura fan, but consider buying this book:

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/boo...sbn=1414028601

[Patrick]

Over the past several days, we have received several comments about this thread. After much thought and discussion, the moderators have decided to close this thread. We have handled the issue internally, with the members in question.

It is important to point out the following statements in the Forum Rules:

"Do not talk negatively about an individual in a thread where they are not participating. Do not start a new discussion thread with the purpose of "calling out" another member or picking a fight with another member. "

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I encourage all of our users to read the Forum Rules before you participate on this site.

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Thanks.