Biggest turnoff

[Patrick]

If you're currently single, or if you're married think back to the time when you were single, what was the biggest turnoff when you went out on the first date? The answer to this question might help other fellow singles reading!

[mranderson]

I actually have several. Women who cuss like a sailor. Smoking. Purfume and cologne. Not being told why she does not want to see me again. When se shows a picture in her personals ad, it turns me off to see guys in the picture. I do not want to date these guys. It is the woman I want to date. Plus, kids are good, I like kids. Just do not go overboard on pictures of the kids.

I like feminine women. Women who act like a lady, and cussing is not ladylike. When it comes out of the mouth of a woman, it is disguting. Yes, a few will slip. That happens to most of us, however, when every other word (it seems) is a vulgar slang term for sex, that really turns me off... Big time.

Smoking. I am offended by smoke. No matter who does it. I have dated very attractive women to find out they whip that cigerette and lighter out of their purse, and light up. I got up and left. I told them my feelings, but left. I will put this as mildly as I can. I think a woman with a cigerette hanging out of her mouth looks trashy. And cigars? You have GOT to be kidding.

I am highly allergic to purfume and cologne. Some, musk in particular, sends me into respritory arrest nearly. I am unable to breathe, I get lathargic, my eyes dry out, I sneeze, and am VERY uncomfortable. Yes. Most guys like this stuff. But do not automatically think the guy does. Be polite and ask in advance. Most smell alike to me... And not pleasent.

Not being told why she does not want to see me again. In other words, just ignoring me. The other person deserves to know why. If I am ugly to you, I am very sorry. I am not able to change that. If I am too overweight, I am working on that one. Chances are, she is a bit also. If it is a presonality conflict, the way I act, or anything like that, I deserve to know. How can you correct something if you do not know what is wrong? This also goes for personal ad sites. Do not give a canned response. Chances are it is a lie anyway. Be honest. Personally, I will accept "no" gracefully if you are kind enough to tell me truthfully. Otherwise, expect to be bambarded with email until you do. I know a lot of people do not want to hurt someones feelings, but they fail to realize not knowing the true reason why hurts more. Sometimes, a person must risk that hurt. It will heal over time. Not knowing does not.

There are probably more.

[Midtowner]

Smoking, stupidity, ignorance, bad manners (don't want to be sitting accross the table from a Visigoth.

[Rev. Bob]

Smoking, drinking, secular music, cussing, arrogance, snobbiness, women who want to use a man, women who think they're men or act like men- masculine behaviors, that includes women preachers and women who want to be football players!!!

[mom2des_n_nate]

Let see here is a womans opinion, guys that try and shove their tongue down your throat right after you meet, guys that dip or decide to talk about their ex's or compair us to them.. Not a smart move.

[Patrick]

Everything the others have said....

Also, women that want to have sex on the first date (actually for me, it would be before for marriage, but I'm a unique case!!!), women, who want heavy physical contact on the first date, anyone who discusses marriage on the first date, anyone who discusses their ex on the first date, unloading all of your baggage early on.

[Karried]

Bad breath! Yellow teeth - in this day and age there is no reason why someone can't save a few bucks, go down to Walgreens and get some floss, Scope and Crest White Strips! It makes such a difference in confidence and makes people look younger... you don't have to have hollywood white smiles but at least get rid of some of the plaque before you talk to people! Yuk.

(We could never afford braces when I was young and I never did get them but I paid for dental work on my own to try to correct flaws - my teeth will never be perfectly straight but I try to keep them white and clean and visit the dentist regularly)

If you have bad teeth, it is the first thing anyone sees, not smiling to hide poor dental hygiene puts people off - then they think you are just an unhappy person. There are so many dental plans, if you are afraid, go to a dentist that puts you asleep or request laughing gas - nitrous.

There are no excuses, you may not think people notice a missing tooth, trust me they do! Instant turn off, right up there with nose hair blowing in the wind, spinach in your teeth and halitosis.
I'm not trying to be harsh, most people won't tell you the truth, but if you are wanting to date someone, it is so important to put your best foot Or tooth forward... yes it may seem shallow but we all know the type of world we live in. Once you have established a relationship these things might be looked over but unless you are dating Helen Keller - remember!

You don't get a second chance at a first impression!

[El Gato Pollo Loco!!!]

Yeah that whole kicking the groin thing is a turn off too...especially if it was for no reason :P

[Karried]

- yeah that would be a big turn off in more ways than one! Ouch.

[sweetdaisy]

This thread is so funny.

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and allow myself the chance to know them before I decide if I'm interested in pursing things further. The only time I've ever really been turned off by a date was when he lied to me about his past and thought it was funny. That wasn't cool.

Other than that, I enjoy digging in to find the beauty in the people I meet. There are not many things that I find grossly unattractive...except people standing in judgement of others.

[Zoedith]

One word answers, inability to act like he's interested in what you're saying, judgments based on looks, treating wait staff rudely, cleaning his ears out, making me pay for everything (dutch is preferrable), and acting holier than thou, or getting caught up in dating games, to the point of not knowing its just a conversation reguardless of its topic......

[Jay]

My biggest turnoff would have to be not being presentable for a date. I take the time to make myself presentable and dress for the occassion. I expect a woman to do the same.

Talking about the ex would come in a close second. I don't care about your ex or about your family. I want to know about you and you only. We can talk about the ex and the family if and when we make it serious.

I am also big on honesty. When I ask you something tell me what your thinking. Do not tell me what you think I want to hear.

Lastly, if your having a bad time.....speak up because chances are I am too.

I would rather take you home and call it a night.

I think if more people spoke thier mind while they were on a date fewer people would be single.

As Mr. Anderson stated in this and other topics on this matter. Some people are unaware of what thier doing wrong on a date. Therefore they need a few pointers to get it right.

[nurfe75]

Barhoppers. Snobs. People who live with their parents. Anyone who wants sex on the first date. And I agree---talking about an ex on a first date is a guarantee there won't be a 2nd. I don't care about your darn ex.

[sweetdaisy]

I've got a new one...strictly because of my weekend experiences. Being "in love" after 2 dates. That's a little icky.

[mranderson]

Tattoos. Especially on women. I can handle a small tattoo on the ankle, breast or tush, but not large tattoos.

I can not stand tattos splattered all over anyones body. They look hidious.

[Jay]

I've got a new one...strictly because of my weekend experiences. Being "in love" after 2 dates. That's a little icky.

I agree you can't fall in love with someone by choice. Love is something that happens naturally. You really can't truly love someone until you develop trust. For most people it takes at least two months before a real trust can begin.

The people that fall in love quickly are not in love with you. They are in love with being in love. Most people that fall in love easily have been a part of an abusive relationship. They were either the abuser or the victim.

The biggest lesson a single person has to learn is this. You can't find happiness in a relationship. You have to be with or with out a relationship. A love relationship should accent your life. It should not be a lifeline.

[rxis]

What if the parents live with your date?

[Jay]

That depends on the situation.



Is the person living with their parents because they are too lazy to leave the nest? If yes I would have to say no thank you. I think it's important to support yourself before you go looking for love. When you’re established you tend to be more discriminative in your tastes. You’re less likely to hook up with someone who is wrong for you.



The only way living with Mom and Dad is acceptable in my book is when your a student. Meaning you are somewhere between the ages 18-25. You’re not pushing 30 and changed your major 17 times.



I know some people out there that are doing quite well and are supporting themselves. They live with their parents as means of taking care of them because they are aging or sick. I see no problem with that.

[mranderson]

Yes. It depends on why. If she is living with them because she "needs" them, then no. If it is financial or medical, then yes.

I had a yahoo contact not long ago who had been through an abusive marriage and moved in with her parents. She is 48. She has no car, no meaningful job, and what appears to be no life. Too much baggage for this dude. See, ya! (as the tires on his vehicle squeel and burns rubber)

[soypreciosa]

Big turn off.......Men talking about what they have instead of who they are. Not impressed by your stereo that plays 60cds or if your car can go 0 to 60 in 3.2 seconds. I want to know what makes you laugh what type of food makes your mouth water, I want to know you.

[Ms.Relaxationstation]

My biggest turn off is bad manners. How a person eats/chews their food is a big one with me. I don't care to see the food that you are enjoying much less hear you eating it. When we are going out in public to a resturant, be respectful to the wait staff and don't talk down to them. I'm sure I have another list somewhere in my brain but these are the most important ones.

[Spookytourchick]

Biggest Turn offs for me..

Mullets
Drunkness
Drugs
Unemployed
Bling
Not having regualr visitation/custody of his child(ren)
Stereotypical men
"phat tires" or "spinners"
Not being able to speak proper English
Too much cologne
Men who go to the clubs all the time
Alcoholics
Sports (Its me... sorry, I like sports but I dont live for them)
Men who need therapy and deny it
Ego maniacs


I could go on and on... but then I would appear to be bitter.. Which Im not. I just dont date because of the men I have met in Oklahoma City... I like originality!

[mranderson]

"phat tires" or "spinners"

What are these things?

[Spookytourchick]

hahaha its those stupid looking tires people put on cars and pretty much ruin them... (Ghetto)

[dirtrider73068]

Spinners are the rims that make the car to appear to be moving. The center of the rim spins while the car sits still. To me the are a waste of money.