What do you guys think?

[Karried]

Would it be risky to try to help out this person ie ... do you think it's a scam or ? From Craig's List.

help a needy person please (oklahoma city)

Reply to: jeffreyconnick@yahoo.com [?]
Date: 2008-12-23, 10:47AM CST



i have tried offering work i have no money for christmas for wife kids ect.. please is there anyone who can help with anything



Have any of you done this in this way before?

I tried last night to help prevent someone's utilities from being shut off and the company tells me they have been on a Payment plan for months and still haven't paid the bill. They wanted it all or nothing. The bill was outrageous so I referred them to some places that could help.

I'm thinking, you have cable/internet and an email address ... apply that amount to the payment. But, who knows, maybe they are at the library using their computers?

I'm starting to get jaded and burnt out.. this year is tough, so many in need.

What do you think about it?

[PennyQuilts]

I think it is a bum. Using his wife and kids to get stuff doesn't sit well with me. Why isn't his family helping? Why not his friends? Why not a church? Why not social services? If this guy is on the up and up, he wouldn't have to go to anonymous strangers to get help.

[FFLady]

So what exactly is he wanting - a hand out or a hand up, like a job? I can't blame you for feeling a bit jaded Karried....send him an email asking if he has contacted our local Salvation Army. I would rather (and I do) donate to them and let them sort it out.....

Also, regarding utilities....that's another tough call. You want to help, but some people do nothing but keep the temp set on 80 cause they know its being paid....That's a hard one for me to donate to, when I either a) turn it off at night, or b) keep it set at 65 to try and conserve.....

Use your best judgement!

[PennyQuilts]

A lot of my clients get their utilities turned off. We always worry ourselves sick about it but the fact is, most of them aren't on hard times - they just won't work. Many, many have a "man in the house" but he won't work, either. It is frequently not just because there is a mom with kids who can't work because she has to care for them. Social services is always helping out on utilities and tons of them milk their churches absolutely dry. I go into those houses and there will sit the big screen TV and all the electronic toys. Fast food sacks will be sitting on the table and junk sitting around like you wouldn't believe - but no money for utilities, rent or school supplies. I don't mean to be jaded, either, but a lot of people think that "their" money is play money and someone else is responsible for keeping a roof over their head. Not everyone is like that but the ones who get their utilities turned off tend to be.

[FFLady]

Hey Karried - just kinda' curious - what did you end up doing?????

[kmf563]

I think it's a load of crap. Even if they are at the library on the computer...HELLO! They could be looking at jobs online, or better yet they could be out getting a job instead of being at the library, or use the library for educational purposes to better themselves to go get a job!

I say if you want to donate, donate to local charities who actually help like the community church or habitat for humanity or the jesus house.

[Karried]

I ended up donating to the Bethel Foundation.... it was a very sad year for so many - it was hard to choose.

[Luke]

City Rescue Mission : Urgent Needs

Instead of handing a check to an organization (which is a great thing, don't get me wrong), here is a list of things you can actually donate to City Rescue Mission. They do good work.

[SoonerDave]

It is frustrating indeed to know who needs the help and who, well, doesn't.

A friend of mine who works for a large utility, and at one point worked customer service issues related to collections, was given a very abrupt and somewhat disillusioning education about people who don't pay their bills. While there certainly are people in difficult circumstances, the overwhelming majority of people he dealt with (usually repeatedly) were people who frankly would not work, and more or less thought they were entitled to the service this utility provided even if they didn't pay it.

Worse, still, was that the worst offenders usually were the worst, most profane, most unpleasant "customers" he had to deal with. They'd scream and hurl profanities at him when he'd tell them they needed to make at least some minimum payment when their accounts were months behind.

Same kind of "education" befell some friends of mine when they opted to try to help some folks who were panhandling around the I-240 and Penn interchange. After working out some details with friends who needed some unskilled labor, they met up with one of these guys, and the guy started laughing and swearing at them because they offered him a job rather than just give him cash. "Why would I work when people here will give me money for nothing, tax-free?" And we later found out the guy wasn't "working" alone - he was working with a team of three or four other guys all along I-240, and they "traded" intersections several times over the course of the day. It was all very carefully orchestrated.

Not to discourage people from trying to help, because there are plenty of people who need it, but it is very hard not to become jaded when you realize so many that act like they need help are really scamming the system.

As a tip, when you want to help someone, *never* give cash to a random individual. If someone comes up to you needing something, offer to buy them what they need, eg don't give gas money, offer to buy them $10 or $20 worth (whatever you can swing). Sometimes, the scammers will get mad and leave if you don't give them money, but the "legit" folks won't mind - while you get at least some sense that what you're doing is providing some measure of help.

It's a sad, dark, sinister world out there, folks. You never know who you're really helping. And it makes folks willing to help very, very (and understandably) jaded.

-SoonerDave

[GWB]

City Rescue Mission : Urgent Needs

Instead of handing a check to an organization (which is a great thing, don't get me wrong), here is a list of things you can actually donate to City Rescue Mission. They do good work.

I agree. That's what we did.

[gmwise]

I very hardly agree.
I've been solicted for hand outs,called for toys for needing kids toys for tots is my choice.
One guy came up to me in the hey day of Crossroads Mall, said he needed money for a bus ticket to go home and give his kidney for his mom, he lacked only 70$ I offered to take him to the bus station and pay the balance he lack to get home, when he walked away, I took him by his neck, and said if I ever saw him panhandling again, I will break his neck, and I didn't care about going to back to prison. for the record ,I'm retired USMC.
About a year later I was at the Best Buy, by may and 58th or so, he walked up behind me, asked me for some gas money,and when I turned around ,he RANNED to may and almost got hit by passing cars.
I think the reason we have smartasses, assholes and lazy ass drop outs, and lazy professionals and civil servants, is because theres some dumbass laws protecting them..lol