Discipline question?

[Patrick]

If you tried everything in the world to get your child to mind, and they were still acting up, what would you do? Would you consider sending them to a boarding school? Boot camp? Just curious what everyone's opinion is here. My aunt recently sent her child away because the child was out of control.

[mranderson]

If you tried everything in the world to get your child to mind, and they were still acting up, what would you do? Would you consider sending them to a boarding school? Boot camp? Just curious what everyone's opinion is here. My aunt recently sent her child away because the child was out of control.

"Nanny 911" sounds good. At the roughest, I would try military school. It would teach disipline.

Better to go that route than handcuffs, the cage of 1adam12's car, and the Whetzel Hilton.

[Patrick]

I actually think Boot Camps are a good option. Seems like in the good old days, parents instilled discipline in their children. Unfortunately, many parents aren't doing that now. Bootcamps could fil some of the discipline voids, eventhough they might not fill the parenting voids.

[Midtowner]

One of my fraternity brothers was sent to military school after a few drug incedents when he was in High School. He came out with some great leadership skills and excellent study habits. For some, I think it can be a great experience (even if they may not enjoy it).

[Keith]

Boot camps certainly do not take the place of parenting, however, it will definitely teach respect and discipline. As a matter of fact, once they have had a taste of boot camp, they will probably be ready to come home to mom and dad.

Many of these kids that are out of control are that way because they want attention and they want more power than mom and dad. They want to be the tough one and they don't want anyone to boss them around.

Many times, I hear on my police scanner about children that are out of control. Momma calls the police because 10 year old little Johnny refuses to go to school, or 8 year old Tommy throws a fit and goes out of control . The police actually go out on these calls because the parents aren't doing their duties and disciplining their kids like they are suppose to. They are letting their kids walk all over them.

The simple solution would be boot camp....then we will see who thinks they are tough .

[Patrick]

Exactly Keith. Sometimes, it isn't necessarily that parents don't love their children...some parents just don't know how to discipline their children, especially now that social norms sway against spanking. At my parent's church, the music minister had to send his only son off to boarding school, because he was completely out of control. The parents loved their child, but just didn't know how to properly discipline him. 2 years later, boarding school has been a huge success.

I'm no big fan of the draft, but I really think when our young people had to serve in the military, it taught them discipline, responsiblity, integrity, etc.

[mranderson]

Exactly Keith. Sometimes, it isn't necessarily that parents don't love their children...some parents just don't know how to discipline their children, especially now that social norms sway against spanking. At my parent's church, the music minister had to send his only son off to boarding school, because he was completely out of control. The parents loved their child, but just didn't know how to properly discipline him. 2 years later, boarding school has been a huge success.

I'm no big fan of the draft, but I really think when our young people had to serve in the military, it taught them discipline, responsiblity, integrity, etc.

I do not think it is lack of knowlege, it is lack of care. Many parents would rather live in expesnive homes, drive that SUV, travel all over the world, buy the luxuries and join the social clubs to be noticed. To do that, most employers demand they work long beyond the 40 hour work week and on weekends. The kids suffer, therefore, they rebel. Then, mom and dad have to sell all those luxuries to pay the bail bond, the attorney fees, and restitution when the little rebel gets a ride in 1adams12's car. If they would tell the employer no (it would take many of them to stop the employers from slavery) and raise their kids and pay attention to their needs and talents, then most of this rebelion would stop.

The parents also need to teach their children manners and respect for others. Kids do not hesitate to call me by my first name without being invited, they do not say "excuse me," "Please," "thank you," or show any courtesy and respect at all. Yes. There are exceptions, however, very few.

When I was a kid, you would never hear us call an adult by their first name unless we were invited to do so, we always excused ourselves, asked politely using proper etiquite, and respected our elders as well as authority figures (ie: cops). Why? Our parents were there when we needed them.

I, to this day, live in a high income area. Why? MY DAD COULD AFFORD IT! He worked less than 40 hours a week. My mom did not work outside the home. She volunteered at my school, was my Cub Scout Den Mother, was a PTA officer, and took us places. As well as developed and encouraged our talents. Rarely do I hear about this today. Many parents will move into homes that are beyond their means, drive cars they can not afford without extra hours at work, they will use the weekends to relax instead of getting to know their kids.

No wonder the country is out of control... And is getting worse.

Get to know your kids. Teach them respect. Do things with them. Teach them morals, but give them choices. Guide them. Then, when they turn 18, get them to the recruiter for a stretch in their choice of military service. It will teach them disipline and resepect.

[1adam12]

In the area that I work, I don't get too many of the 'child out of control' calls. I pity the officers that do because they have to be the referrees. I do see so many parents who don't discipline their kids and then WE have to be the bad guys.

I would love to be able to take a pre-teen or a teenager to the county jail with me sometime and meet some of the rif raf that are locked up. If these kids think they are too big for their britches, I know of a few residents in the jail who can change their mind quickly.

As for boot camps, I am all for them. I'd rather see them go to boot camp than to see them end up at juvenile hall.

[mranderson]

In the area that I work, I don't get too many of the 'child out of control' calls. I pity the officers that do because they have to be the referrees. I do see so many parents who don't discipline their kids and then WE have to be the bad guys.

I would love to be able to take a pre-teen or a teenager to the county jail with me sometime and meet some of the rif raf that are locked up. If these kids think they are too big for their britches, I know of a few residents in the jail who can change their mind quickly.

As for boot camps, I am all for them. I'd rather see them go to boot camp than to see them end up at juvenile hall.

I bet if little Johnny Rotten had himself a date in the county jail with Ben Dover, he would straighten out his life.

[Patrick]

No wonder the country is out of control... And is getting worse.

Very true. mranderson, your post explains exactly why! Well put!

[prerunner1982]

I have been to boot camp, but that was my decision. (OK Army Guard) I have no problem sending my kids to boot camp, I think everyone needs to go, atleast do 2yrs serving thier country. My daughter is only 3 so i am not to the point of sending her away.. haha. My daughter pushes the limit sometimes, but that runs in the family... she gets it from her momma.. Hoping she will grow out of it. Will try different things with our next child...

[Patrick]

I don't think I'd send my children to the military just because of the mess in Iraq, but I think a little boot camp time would be bad for them. If the Guard wasn't the backdoor draft, I'd recommen everyone serve in it for at least a year or so.

[~~*DarlingDiva*~~]

When my oldest son was turning around 14 thats when things really started changing with him.Whew buddy As A single mom I didnt know what a 14 year old boy going through puberty was feeling.I tried to be there for him ,but as boys are with their moms just kind of sweetly shunned me away and kept to himself a bit .There were times I thought about programs like this. I was worried about the"wrong crowd"But as a Parent you cannot be with them every moment of the day .And if you could how would they ever learn anything in this world?How to socialize ,how to make good decisions,etc.But back to this I have really only seen shows where kids went off to these boot camp places and a documentary.It really changed these kids VERY quickly I might add.The downside I did see, was that when they did their follow up reports around ish 75% of the kids once back around the parents pushing those same old buttons had slipped back into their terrible Teen ways.LOL I have never known anyone that has done this personally so I can only speculate.But boy those kids sure are straightened up and yes Sir in a hurry its kind of funny its such an immediate change when these kids are having respect demanded of them OR ELSE.
DivasDestiny

[ClipedWingAngel]

It is strange how most parents are intimidated more by what other's think than how bad our kids behave in public. I'm old fashioned in the discipline dept. I dont care who is looking. If they are out of control, the belt comes off after one warning and swat! Legs or behind! One time a guy at Lowe's came over and told me I cant do that! I told him he cant tell me how to discipline MY CHILDREN. He will not be the one bailing them out and worried about them at 2 am in 10 yrs if I dont give them a swift straighten up lesson. He insisted I cant beat my children! and I told hiim he can feel free to report me to DHS if he feels that way. I have a right to keep my children safe and discipline them when necesary. He howevery doesnt have the right to undermine a parent in the process of prevent their children from taking over! His manager heard us and came over and wanted to know whats going on? When I explained my children wanted to run around on their own and his loaders werent closing out sections, so I spanked my children in to staying with me, he ordered his employee to rerturn to his job and apologized. He said from a safety issue, it's important. He also told my kids if they cant behave, they cannot return to his store.
Sometimes adults need to learn to tough love too!

[Ms.Relaxationstation]

I agree with ClippedWing....I usually try to do the disclipling at home, however; there are times when I cannot wait to get home to take care of the matter. The same thing happened to me when I was at Wal-Mart one time, a man came over telling me he was gonna turn me in. I said, "kids, sik him! " LOL--not really, but I wanted to.

[mranderson]

I may get slapped for this, however, I am taking the chance.

There is a corolation between children and animals. They do not understand why they are being punished if it does not happen on the spot.

A agree that the punishement should be immediate, but I do take a strong stand against spanking.

By the way Angel. The Lowe's guy was WAY out of line for barking at you. The manager was correct (rare with customer-employee relations). The employee may have been disiplined later. Most Lowe's managers will fire someone just for a customer saying the employee was rude.

[ClipedWingAngel]

Relaxation, these interruptions in our parenting are probably the same parents that dont care if they have children that need bailing out at 2 am or who drink and drive. I feel the education on responsibility and accountability is established before age 10. If you miss that mark well maybe boot camp can help but it MY responsibility to make sure MY kids learn right from wrong and appropriate behaviors. Telling a parent NOT TO DISCIPLINE their children reinforces to the child that they should not be punished.

I tell my kids now SMELL THE LEATHER? and they know to keep it proper! lmao

[Keith]

I actually think I posted this somewhere else, but I can't remember where. About 8 months ago I did a ride a long with an OKC Police officer. I rode the entire shift with him, and although nothing major happened, it was a learning experience.

We went on a call where we had to deal with a runaway child. As the officer spoke to the parents and to the runaway teenager, he explained that the teen was not too big to give a spanking. He also mentioned that it is within the parents' legal right to spank their child in a public place, as long as the spanking is on the back side(el...butto). If the child is hit anywhere else, such as the face, the head, their back, their stomach, etc..., then it could be construed as abuse.

The main thing is, that we, as parents, have every right to spank our kids in public, as long as we are spanking their backside. If someone threatens to turn you in, tell them to go right ahead. If they tell the dispatcher the truth, then the dispatcher will tell them that you are withing your legal rights.