Question

[Mel]

Firm but fair was the way when I was growing up. I knew who the boss was and did my chores.

[Dennis Heaton]

I firmly believe that one of the most loving, caring and stress free homes you can create is the one where not only are the rules very clear but they are consistently enforced. Rules that are no more difficult to grasp than being honest, being respectful and doing your best.

These dads can testify to that...

[kelroy55]

Firm but fair was the way when I was growing up. I knew who the boss was and did my chores.

I remember when on Friday my kids asked for their allowance and I asked if they did their chores this week, knowing they didn't, and let them know when they don't do their chores they don't get an allowance.

[Dennis Heaton]

I remember when on Friday my kids asked for their allowance and I asked if they did their chores this week, knowing they didn't, and let them know when they don't do their chores they don't get an allowance.

If you are still giving out allowances for doing chores...I am available for adoption!

[kelroy55]

If you are still giving out allowances for doing chores...I am available for adoption!

If you want to mow and clean for $5 a week your hired *lol*

and as my dad told me 'I can make another just like you so don't push your luck'

[Bellaboo]

Couldn't have said that because that would have sent him on a tirade. that would have escalated more than it was worth. I just walked off talking under my breath, he frequently tell both his mom and me step dad to shut up and stuff like that.

Sounds like he's a real problem... good luck.

[ctchandler]

Kelroy55,
One thing I learned from my mother (dad was thrown out when I was 5 due to infidelity), an allowance is the little bit of money to save a little, and spend and should never be withheld for not doing chores. My mother paid us (there were three, I was the middle child) for chores, and if we didn't do them, we didn't get paid. But of course we still received our pittance of an allowance.
C. T.

I remember when on Friday my kids asked for their allowance and I asked if they did their chores this week, knowing they didn't, and let them know when they don't do their chores they don't get an allowance.

[Dennis Heaton]

Kelroy55,
One thing I learned from my mother (dad was thrown out when I was 5 due to infidelity), an allowance is the little bit of money to save a little, and spend and should never be withheld for not doing chores. My mother paid us (there were three, I was the middle child) for chores, and if we didn't do them, we didn't get paid. But of course we still received our pittance of an allowance.
C. T.

C.T. ...My foster sister, brother and I each received .50 per week for an allowance back in 19 fifty sumtin, which was a lot to an 8 year old, at least back then. When I moved onto my second foster home, three years later, I got $5 every two weeks from "Uncle Joe." Guess which foster home I liked best?

[ctchandler]

Dennis,
Was there ever a doubt? You say 19 fifty sumtin, we must be pretty close. I'm 70.
C. T.

C.T. ...My foster sister, brother and I each received .50 per week for an allowance back in 19 fifty sumtin, which was a lot to an 8 year old, at least back then. When I moved onto my second foster home, three years later, I got $5 every two weeks from "Uncle Joe." Guess which foster home I liked best?

[Dennis Heaton]

Dennis,
Was there ever a doubt? You say 19 fifty sumtin, we must be pretty close. I'm 70.
C. T.

C.T. I am "going on" my 70's...but, I am still scoring a 62 on the links, which entitles me (both of us actually) to a .36 cup of coffee at McD's. Eat your heart out ya young whippersnappers.

[JohnnyW]

I firmly believe that one of the most loving, caring and stress free homes you can create is the one where not only are the rules very clear but they are consistently enforced. Rules that are no more difficult to grasp than being honest, being respectful and doing your best.

JohnnyW you know absolutely nothing of our rules or our household or our family dynamics - but you have zero problem making assumptions out of whole cloth.

For the logical people out there, this is what is called a "Strawman". This gentleman puts up a defense of something that I haven't said anything about. All I have stated was that I would rather come home to parents that were more loving to me and this gentlemen goes on to state that I have wrongly written out his family dynamics in this thread. If he could kindly point me to the post where I listed out his family dynamics, then we could begin a discussion but I would ask that he not take the time because he will not find said post.

[Dennis Heaton]

I remember as a teen back talking my step mother once. The key word is once. Never knew my dad could move that fast and I never did it again.

I remember "Lava" hand soap. I think I was 8 or 9 years old. "Once" was all it took for me (for talking back). Got paddled "Once," too (for walking down the wrong side of the street). Also, got whooped by my Jr. High School Principal, "Once," (for punching a kid after he slugged a girl).

[Bobby821]

But using soap or paddleing your kid is considered abuseive now days so you cant do those things anymore, and I doubt you could spank a 15 year old anyway. So you just pretty much have to put up with what they give you and wait for the day they move out.

[Dennis Heaton]

But using soap or paddleing your kid is considered abuseive now days so you cant do those things anymore....

Paddling becomes rare in Oklahoma schools as disciplinary tool | News OK

I know, I know...

[JohnnyW]

Paddling becomes rare in Oklahoma schools as disciplinary tool | News OK

I know, I know...

I would say this is relevant to the topic. I hope the next article written says, "Paddling becomes history in Oklahoma schools." Inflicting pain upon another person as a form of punishment is an age old tradition that needs to go.

[BBatesokc]

I would say this is relevant to the topic. I hope the next article written says, "Paddling becomes history in Oklahoma schools." Inflicting pain upon another person as a form of punishment is an age old tradition that needs to go.

I'm all for a little swat to the behind for a kid when its needed and appropriate. I got swats as a kid and so did my friends. It was more about the embarrassment than pain - if done correctly.

Mom didn't have to give swats very often, but when she did it had a far longer lasting effect than 'go to your room' or 'go to time out.'

When I was in military school (San Marcos Baptist Military Academy) they did swats nightly. They'd call your name and you'd file into the hall. One by one you'd go into the office, be reminded what you did and get your swat(s) 1-5 depending on the offense.

Sometimes you had the option to avoid swats and instead stand at parade rest on the field for an 1-3 hours. Rarely did anyone ever elect for that. Get your swat, get it done and go about your business and don't do it again. Prety simple and straight forward.

[Dennis Heaton]

I guess you skipped right by #18.

Gosh darn it! I wish I could SEE #18.

[ctchandler]

BBates,
Six of us in the sixth grade, caught throwing snowballs in the classroom. Choice, six swats or write a 500 word theme and get a swat for every mis-spelled word. Two of us took the theme. I was an excellent speller, so no swats. The other kid was a smart alec and wrote "I will" and 491 nevers to say "I will never throw snowballs in the class room again". He got the swats. The only other time I had a choice was when Mr. Hostetter (U. S. Grant HS) offered the dowel rod instead of the paddle. Of course, that little stick (dowel rod) can't hurt! Boy was I wrong.
C. T.

Sometimes you had the option to avoid swats and instead stand at parade rest on the field for an 1-3 hours. Rarely did anyone ever elect for that. Get your swat, get it done and go about your business and don't do it again. Prety simple and straight forward.

[SoonerDave]

For the logical people out there, this is what is called a "Strawman". This gentleman puts up a defense of something that I haven't said anything about. All I have stated was that I would rather come home to parents that were more loving to me and this gentlemen goes on to state that I have wrongly written out his family dynamics in this thread. If he could kindly point me to the post where I listed out his family dynamics, then we could begin a discussion but I would ask that he not take the time because he will not find said post.

No disrespect, but yours is just as disingenuous by implying your family was "more loving" merely by virtue of the fact that BBates imposed rules. You can't get away with that.

I haven't made any huge deal about privacy "rights" with my kids. They have (almost) none. I've just made it known I can look at anything, anytime, anywhere, including computers, books, and so on. I'm their dad, not their buddy, their landlord, or whatever else might come to mind. And in that time I've come across a few things I had to deal with, they were dealt with, and we moved on. Have I ever gone on a scorched-earth "search and destroy" mission looking for incriminating things? No, but by the same token I've never been given a second glance on those occasions when I've come into their room and looked for something entirely innocuous I suspected might be in a desk or dresser, and I've never had the sense they hesitated in my doing so in a "defensive" way. In that vein, I won't make any pretense of perfection by any means, but neither my 18-year-old son nor my 16-year-old daughter have ever confronted me in the manner described by the OP.

I respect their privacy when it comes to obvious, "duh" things like getting dressed in the morning, of course, but I'd have to assume that goes without saying.

[Bullbear]

So I wonder if he got the actual answer to his question.. before being banned

[SoonerDave]

So I wonder if he got the actual answer to his question.. before being banned

Yeah I noticed that, too!! Charlie? I mean, of all folks I suspect might run afoul of things some day, he wouldn't have been among them.

Guess I just missed something, or perhaps something unpleasant has been deleted. Dunno.

[Bullbear]

[QUOTE=SoonerDave;804803]Yeah I noticed that, too!! Charlie? I mean, of all folks I suspect might run afoul of things some day, he wouldn't have been among them.

Guess I just missed something, or perhaps something unpleasant has been deleted. Dunno.[/Qm
Many unpleasant things were deleted.

[SoonerDave]

[QUOTE=Bullbear;804815]

Yeah I noticed that, too!! Charlie? I mean, of all folks I suspect might run afoul of things some day, he wouldn't have been among them.

Guess I just missed something, or perhaps something unpleasant has been deleted. Dunno.[/Qm
Many unpleasant things were deleted.

From this thread, I guess?

[Bullbear]

[QUOTE=SoonerDave;804849]

From this thread, I guess?

No not this one.. it was in political threads. I think Pete gave him a pass the first time. then he began in another thread going down the same path.

[SoonerDave]

[QUOTE=Bullbear;804854]

No not this one.. it was in political threads. I think Pete gave him a pass the first time. then he began in another thread going down the same path.

Primary reason I just stay clear of the Politics forum. No one is going to change anyone's mind, and all that ends up happening is folks say (well, write) stuff they wish they hadn't. Kinda pointless, and all that results is hard feelings. Not worth it. Won't say I never post there, but it's a rarity.