Please keep my family in your thoughts

[bandnerd]

Found out that my dad died about an hour ago. Complications of pneumonia. Ironic since he's been battling cancer for the last 7 years.

I haven't been close to him in a long time. Both my sister and I said our goodbyes about a year ago. But we have been treated really badly by my half-brother, and some former family friends since then. They didn't understand what happened in our family, but they judged us anyway.

What's really great? I found out he passed through an EMAIL.

No one has called. My mom is visiting some relatives and my sister is trying to get a hold of her right now.

Email.

[Intrepid]

Kelli...

I am sorry to hear about your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

Take care,
Brian

[sweetdaisy]

You and your family are in my thoughts...I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and the inappropriate way you had to hear of it.

[Easy180]

So sorry for your loss and the way it went down...Me and Mrs easy will keep you in our thoughts

Maybe somehow something good will come out of this eventually bandnerd

[Martin]

i'm sorry... and i'm sorry that you had to find out like that. you're in our thoughts and prayers, also. -M

[writerranger]

So so sorry....for your loss and the family problems.
Peace to you during this time.

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[Karried]

Oh Kelli, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this... (((((((((( hugs ))))))))))

Let me know if there is anything I can do.. send me a message.

You are in my thoughts always...

[aintaokie]

Bandnerd, I'm so sorry to hear about your father passing away and the strife within your family. I've had some of the same problems with the inlaws. Hold your good memories close. Prayers for you.

[metro]

sorry to hear dispite our differences bandnerd, these situations are never easy. I'll pray for you and Mid.

[Angelicfly]

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Best wishes.

[Karried]

How are you doing Kelli?

Is it Spring break this week for you? If so, is that a good thing or not?

Just thinking about you.. hope you are okay...

[bandnerd]

It's spring break for me. I've just been chillin' at home with Ben and Jerry, and some movies. Which was my plan, anyway...except for the Ben and Jerry's part. Back on the wagon tomorrow heh.

I'm doing okay...I can handle my dad's passing because it was his time, and I know that...it's been his time for a long time. He's battled cancer for like, 5 or 6 years. The person I knew as my dad was gone a long time ago; he was the man before the chemo, before the brain tumor, before the depression and anger. My dad was never healthy, and had also suffered major back problems for about 20 years.

The part I can't handle is how still no one has ever called...except my mom...I've pretty much made up my mind to not go to the funeral. Funerals are for the living, and I made my peace with my dad's death. So did my sister. Going to a funeral where people are going to give us sideways glances, and say things just within earshot that aren't nice, and play fake-nice to us is really not what either of us needs. It's not good for the soul.

They set up a charity to the local library, because my dad was an avid reader. I might just give money to that, so at least I will have done something.

[BaconCheeseburgerDeluxe]

It's spring break for me. I've just been chillin' at home with Ben and Jerry, and some movies. Which was my plan, anyway...except for the Ben and Jerry's part. Back on the wagon tomorrow heh.

I'm doing okay...I can handle my dad's passing because it was his time, and I know that...it's been his time for a long time. He's battled cancer for like, 5 or 6 years. The person I knew as my dad was gone a long time ago; he was the man before the chemo, before the brain tumor, before the depression and anger. My dad was never healthy, and had also suffered major back problems for about 20 years.

The part I can't handle is how still no one has ever called...except my mom...I've pretty much made up my mind to not go to the funeral. Funerals are for the living, and I made my peace with my dad's death. So did my sister. Going to a funeral where people are going to give us sideways glances, and say things just within earshot that aren't nice, and play fake-nice to us is really not what either of us needs. It's not good for the soul.

They set up a charity to the local library, because my dad was an avid reader. I might just give money to that, so at least I will have done something.

Me and my sisters faced a similar situation when each of grandparents died on my Dad's side of the family. My Dad died when I was three and since then his side family (with the exception of my grandparents) were always hostile towards us. The three of us went early in the morning for private viewing. It allowed us private time to grieve with each one of my grandparents. It helped avoid the drama and in a way it brought me closer to my sisters.

You and your sister may want consider doing the same thing. What you do is just call the funeral home and request a private viewing. Most homes will do it because they understand not everyone in family may be welcome at the service.

This is just mere suggestion, you can take it for what it is worth to you. I do want you to know your are in my thoughts. May peace be with you.

[bandnerd]

I appreciate the suggestion.

I don't really feel the need, though, you know? I have my peace. My solace comes from knowing that his suffering, and subsequently, my suffering, has come to an end. I will be sad for awhile, that things were never patched up...but there were a lot of things working against us, and it probably wouldn't have happened had he lived longer. But I will move on, I have a very strong support system with my sister, my mom, and my husband and his family. And my students, who are surprisingly understanding and supportive of me.

I'm gonna be okay. I do appreciate everyone posting. I kind of deal with these things on my own...it's not the first family crisis I've been through that was about my dad...and I've learned a lot about myself and how to deal.

[NE Oasis]

I have my peace. I have a very strong support system with my sister, my mom, and my husband and his family. And my students, who are surprisingly understanding and supportive of me.

I'm gonna be okay. ...and I've learned a lot about myself and how to deal.

I can't say anything better than you've said it yourself. I'm praying for you.