Couples Signing Relationship Contracts

[Plutonic Panda]

This is not my style and is not for me, but could be good for some I guess. The weight issue is kind of up in the air. I would not marry a girl I don't find sexually attractive, but I don't think I'd ever divorce my-future-wife for becoming "ugly". Love is love, but there has to be a "kick", imo. I agree about being flexible and think sacrifices will be made if you love your partner. I would never sign a relationship contract though.

Couples Signing Relationship Contracts

OKLAHOMA CITY - Steve and Lindsay Hix love spending time together. They're adjusting to married life, one year after tying the knot.
"We were both so set in our ways," Lindsay said. "It's just taken some time to get to know those little habits."

Instead of going with the flow, some couples are laying out the ground rules before walking down the aisle with a relationship contract, a written agreement drawn up by an attorney. It lists anything from how often they have sex, how much weight they're allowed to gain, even what color clothes they can't wear.

Counselor Sarah McFadden sees the positive and negative sides.

"It may open a line of communications for couples as they're first starting to date or when we first get married," McFadden said.

But she said putting conditions on your relationship can backfire.

McFadden said, "Things like that make you feel like it's not safe to connect in a healthy way with their spouse or their partner."

After 40 years of marriage, Stan and Jayme McLaughlin, don't agree on everything.

"Our biggest point of contention is probably HGTV vs. ESPN," Stan said.

But the McLaughlins say pet peeves shouldn't define a marriage.

"In the grand scheme of things, when you really get into the thick of what marriage is, that doesn't matter," Jayme said. "Our goals and our values and our characters, do they all measure up? They've got to. You can't get that in a contract."

Steve and Lindsay agree.

"You have to be flexible and you have to give and take," Steve said.

- Couples Signing Relationship Contracts - News9.com - Oklahoma City, OK - News, Weather, Video and Sports |

[Mel]

I think I may be to old fashioned for this. I married my gal for the long run. She will always be beautiful to me.

[Plutonic Panda]

Hope it lasts forever! My grandparents entered their gold(50th) marriage in 2011. It's unfortunate that is becoming rare.

[Mel]

Hope it lasts forever! My grandparents entered their gold(50th) marriage in 2011. It's unfortunate that is becoming rare.

Thank you. 36 and counting for us. My parents are about to hit their 65th. Marriage should be a mutual adventure in growth and love, not a contractual obligation. Would you have a time clock for every chore? I guess both would clock in at the bedroom and write evaluation reports after. "Rate your Mate".

[BBatesokc]

Personally, while I think it may be wise to literally contractualize some aspects of marriage (pre-existing finances, investments, property, etc.) but the rest just seems like the people are getting married for the wrong reasons. Part of the excitement about being married to the 'right' person is growing and maturing together.

I couldn't imagine telling my spouse (or my spouse telling me) - we agreed 14 years ago that on Wednesdays and Fridays we are to have sex, you're not supposed to wear red when I'm not around and where's my dinner you agreed to prepare every night?

When I met my wife-to-be, a co-worker bought us a relationship book that basically had a couple sit down and read the book together. It gave lots of scenarios - from finances, to sex, to hobbies and social activities, etc. - and had us actively discuss those scenarios and how we would react to them.

We literally spent several nights going through the book and it really helped us to know each other.

That said, I know many people who marry on the moment or marry for reasons like looks, financial stability, sexual prowess, etc. No contract is going to ensure that and if you're marrying for those things, then your relationship is constructed on a faulty foundation.

[kevinpate]

You had a whole book? I had a two sentence speech.

The night of the rehearsal, Pops told my lovely, "if he ever treats you bad, just come tell us. We'll take him for everything he has."
Pops was on the bench, and two of his brothers were attorneys.

My lovely and I marked our 32nd anniversary last month. Them short stories, they stay with ya.

[kelroy55]

You had a whole book? I had a two sentence speech.

The night of the rehearsal, Pops told my lovely, "if he ever treats you bad, just come tell us. We'll take him for everything he has."
Pops was on the bench, and two of his brothers were attorneys.

My lovely and I marked our 32nd anniversary last month. Them short stories, they stay with ya.

I just told mine if he treats you bad we know where to hide the body.

[PennyQuilts]

My mom told my husband, "She's your problem, now."

[Mel]

I agree if the couple had accumulated a goodly amount of assets a pre-nup would be advisable for many reasons.