Past Relationship

[Leon]

If you developed a serious relationship with an SO and learned that he/she had a previous SO who's relationship ended on good terms, job relocation, family necessity, etc.....how would you feel about later contact/communication between the two of them?

What would it take for you to know that YOU are number 1? Could you ever?
What would you do if you felt there were things not shared with you?...Yet, at least?
What if you were number 1 ONLY because he/she were unattainable?
What if their relationship were closer than siblings?
Could you ever feel secure if THEY maintained contact?.....Would it be right to ask them not to?
Would you feel like a fifth wheel?

Scary, huh?....I think it is....But I'd hate to lose contact with someone who meant a lot to me in the past but it didn't work out for reasons out of everyone's control.

[Jay]

I would have to ask if they still have an emotional attachment to this person? If they could not give me a straight forward answer immediately. I would tell them that we need time a part so you can get over your ex or we need to go our separate ways because you cannot get over your ex.

Once you end a relationship you need to get over it and move on. This is real life not a Hollywood script. If the relationship was meant to be each person would have sacrificed something to make it work.

This situation your speaking of is the fear of being alone. There are way too many people out there that are afraid of being alone. When they end a relationship the first thing they do is jump in the first appealing situation that crosses there path.

When you do this you do nothing more than use the new person your dating. I think anyone that ends a relationship should take at least a month or two and stay single. That way you will not be tempted stay with someone who you know is wrong for you. You'll know you will do fine single or paired up with someone.

Then again I could be wrong I have been single for six years now. For all I know I may sleep alone until my dying day. However, I know I will be okay if that is what happens. I am pretty happy being single and 30. I refuse to feel sorry for myself because I am single. Deep down I know I have plenty of other things in my life to be thankful for.

Besides, I think it will make a funny headline in the paper when my obit reads I left my estate to my dog. :tweeted:

[Leon]

I think anyone that ends a relationship should take at least a month or two and stay single. That way you will not be tempted stay with someone who you know is wrong for you. You'll know you will do fine single or paired up with someone.

Granted, mine was a bit more than a steady girlfriend/date, but I had a mindset of being alone for one to two years, not months. I'm at the one year point now....ALMOST ready to CONSIDER, MAYBE, EASING into a relationship. If that sounds like I'm unsure about things, it's because this year has opened my eyes to a few things...I've began to learn what life would be like with me 100% responsible for everything; I'm not sure I've completed that lesson yet.

But I want a relationship now and that's a big change from my attitude a few months ago.