High Maintenance

[Leon]

Many signs of what I'd consider to be a high-maintenance woman are obvious visually: spectacular outfits, spectacular hairdo, lots of jewelry (jingles when she walks), elaborate shoes. There are also some not-so-visible signs: an hour to fix that hair and/or face, 200 pairs of shoes in the closet, more knick knacks in the home than anyone could ever keep dusted. Behavior signs too: MUST be the center of everyone's attention.

What are some things that yell high-maintenance to you? How much is too much? Of course that's an individual's judgement call. How do you view and respond to hi-maint women?

Personally, I'd like for a woman to care about how she looks. But honestly, I'm a lot more attracted to a woman in clean jeans and a T-shirt than a designer dress. Of course she needs to dress appropriately for the situation. I noticed today while running a few errands, I'm a lot more accomodating to a struggling single mom trying to take care of her kids than I'll ever be to some spoiled and pampered super-model. I kinda get a kick out of it when I can let a door go in their face instead of holding it for them. Oh, and I won't stop my truck to let them go in traffic either. Let'em get their brown-nosing somewhere else....for some fool who hasn't yet figured out why his wallet is empty. I'll save my pampering for a woman who deserves pampering....and appreciates it. She's gonna be very happy, I'm sure.

[Curt]

Many signs of what I'd consider to be a high-maintenance woman are obvious visually: spectacular outfits, spectacular hairdo, lots of jewelry (jingles when she walks), elaborate shoes. There are also some not-so-visible signs: an hour to fix that hair and/or face, 200 pairs of shoes in the closet, more knick knacks in the home than anyone could ever keep dusted. Behavior signs too: MUST be the center of everyone's attention.

What are some things that yell high-maintenance to you? How much is too much? Of course that's an individual's judgement call. How do you view and respond to hi-maint women?

Personally, I'd like for a woman to care about how she looks. But honestly, I'm a lot more attracted to a woman in clean jeans and a T-shirt than a designer dress. Of course she needs to dress appropriately for the situation. I noticed today while running a few errands, I'm a lot more accomodating to a struggling single mom trying to take care of her kids than I'll ever be to some spoiled and pampered super-model. I kinda get a kick out of it when I can let a door go in their face instead of holding it for them. Oh, and I won't stop my truck to let them go in traffic either. Let'em get their brown-nosing somewhere else....for some fool who hasn't yet figured out why his wallet is empty. I'll save my pampering for a woman who deserves pampering....and appreciates it. She's gonna be very happy, I'm sure.

Basically everything you said is exactly how I feel myself..one more thing here that really got to me yesterday..I talked to a girl at the bar and she told me she wasnt interested in me unless I was a cop..that kind of girl can also kiss my ass. I would also be more willing to help out a single mom struggling than help out some Paris Hilton Princess..

[Jay]

I think your idea of high maintence is flawed. It sounds like to me this is the kind of woman your looking for; however, you have not been successful at obtaining this type of woman.

What you need to do is abandon your list of I will not date _________ because of ___________.

We always want what we can't have and we always hate the people that have what we want.

This whole concept of thinking stems from rejection that we take way too personally.

When it comes to dating you need to take a rejection like a grain of salt.

Its her loss if she does not want to be with you, move on to the next one.

I think any man that narrows his personal taste in women to one specific type. Does nothing more than set the stage for a life of loneliness.

The best thing any single man or woman can do is date a variety of people until he or she finds someone who is compatible with them.

You need to have the confidence to ask anyone out. Just because you never know what might happen. The one you consider out of your league could be the one for you. If you don't believe me go to any public place and people watch. You will eventually see couples of all combinations.

If for some reason you get rejected, the first date is lousy, or you only see each other for a short time get over it. Move on to someone else.

[Leon]

[QUOTE=OklaCity_75]I think your idea of high maintence is flawed. It sounds like to me this is the kind of woman your looking for; however, you have not been successful at obtaining this type of woman.

I think I made my point in the original post that high-maint is an individual's own judgement call. Please explain why anyone should date someone out whom they're not attracted to. I think their appearance and behavior are good indications of their 'whole person'.

What you need to do is abandon your list of I will not date _________ because of ___________.

I'll maintain my list just like I'm sure you maintain yours. Are you saying there is no one you're not attracted to?...or you date those your not attracted to?

We always want what we can't have and we always hate the people that have what we want.

I know I can have the high maint woman, I was married to one.

This whole concept of thinking stems from rejection that we take way too personally.

When it comes to dating you need to take a rejection like a grain of salt.

Its her loss if she does not want to be with you, move on to the next one.

I think any man that narrows his personal taste in women to one specific type. Does nothing more than set the stage for a life of loneliness.

There are many, many, many types of women. To eliminate the high-maint ones does not narrow the field very much. Where did I mention "one specific type"? They're ALL different.

[Leon]

Been thinking a little (I probably shouldn't do that without the proper equipment). I guess I hope for someone who wants to experience life and is less concerned about their material posessions and their 'image' than they are about experiencing more in life. It is the people who are obsessed with their own image and possessions that I'm not attracked to.

[Leon]

One more thing because I think I've been misunderstood:
Low maintenance surely does not mean uglyor unattractvie and
high maintenance surely does not equate to beauty.
It is more an overt indicator of an inner personality.

[windowphobe]

I assume a Maserati is going to require a different approach than a Toyota Corolla, and conduct myself accordingly.

[mranderson]

I assume a Maserati is going to require a different approach than a Toyota Corolla, and conduct myself accordingly.

As do I. I can afford the Corolla, but not the Maserati. If a woman wants nothing but high class restaurants and will not accept IHOP or Jimmy's Egg (or similar) as the place we usually go, then I must question her intentions. I will do the high end on her birthday, our anniversaries (first contact, first in person meeting, etc), and ultra special events. I can not afford them every time.

Thank goodness the woman I have been in touch lately has agreed with me.

[Leon]

As do I. I can afford the Corolla, but not the Maserati. If a woman wants nothing but high class restaurants and will not accept IHOP or Jimmy's Egg (or similar) as the place we usually go, then I must question her intentions. I will do the high end on her birthday, our anniversaries (first contact, first in person meeting, etc), and ultra special events. I can not afford them every time.

Thank goodness the woman I have been in touch lately has agreed with me.

AMEN Brother!!!! AMEN!

[amethystgirl]

I hope this discussion isn't for guys only.

I don't consider myself high maintenance. I like simple things......I like to go to the dollar movies or the matinee.....hardly ever pay full price for a movie....I don't have to have popcorn & drink every time......I hardly ever wear dresses....have you guys ever tried putting pantyhose on......maybe I don't want to know the answer to that.

I used to never go out of the house without makeup and my hair washed and styled, not even to the grocery store. Don't get me wrong, I still want to look decent, but I have realized that it doesn't have to be the number one priority.

Who has time to dust......I love the Dollar Tree......I love to go to garage sales or thrift stores for bargains......

I like to go out to a nice restaurant for birthdays or special occasions, but I also understand if funds are tight.

[sweetdaisy]

Y'know, after reading all of these posts, I have to comment. (Yes, time for the soapbox.)

A woman having pride in her appearance should not be confused with "High Maintenance". Dressing up is nice and it makes a person feel really good about themselves. If you dress like a frump, you're likely going to feel like a frump.

Rolling out of bed and wearing your jammies and bunny slippers to the grocery is NOT cool. I don't understand what the problem is with taking a little time to have some pride in your appearance.

Every hear of first impressions? What's wrong with always wanting to make a good impression? Even on strangers? You never know WHO you might run into while you're all frumpy at the store.

A woman having pride in her home and it's appearance should not be mistaken for "High Maintenance". Dusting her knick knacks and making sure her home is presentable and beautiful for her visitors is not a bad thing. What's wrong with having some pricey items in a house that she takes pride in? It's not always a good thing to decorate your home in just garage sale and dollar store fare.

I don't get the judgmental nature behind this whole thread. Just because I'm dressed up, that means you won't hold a door for me Leon (as indicated in your first post)? That's ugly.

[Leon]

Y'know, after reading all of these posts, I have to comment. (Yes, time for the soapbox.)

A woman having pride in her appearance should not be confused with "High Maintenance". Dressing up is nice and it makes a person feel really good about themselves. If you dress like a frump, you're likely going to feel like a frump.

Rolling out of bed and wearing your jammies and bunny slippers to the grocery is NOT cool. I don't understand what the problem is with taking a little time to have some pride in your appearance.

Every hear of first impressions? What's wrong with always wanting to make a good impression? Even on strangers? You never know WHO you might run into while you're all frumpy at the store.

A woman having pride in her home and it's appearance should not be mistaken for "High Maintenance". Dusting her knick knacks and making sure her home is presentable and beautiful for her visitors is not a bad thing. What's wrong with having some pricey items in a house that she takes pride in? It's not always a good thing to decorate your home in just garage sale and dollar store fare.

I don't get the judgmental nature behind this whole thread. Just because I'm dressed up, that means you won't hold a door for me Leon (as indicated in your first post)? That's ugly.

No, no, no, Daisy. I think you've taken me wrong. I hoped to imply that high maintenance is most evident in behavior. But fru-fru materialistic stuff can be a pretty good indicator. I did not mean to imply that if a woman took time to look pretty that she was definately high maintenance. It has to depend on the situation. I'd be embarrassed to be even in a 7-11 with a woman in house shoes and frustrated to wait two hours for her to get ready to go to Target.

It's not so much the clothes that would determine whether I'd hold the door for you, it's more whether I believe you'd appreciate it enough to look me in the eye and either smile or say thank you or just walk through the door as if I owed it to you.

I hope your not tagging me as something I'm really not. I'm startin' ta think ya don't like me.

[Leon]

I hope this discussion isn't for guys only.

I don't consider myself high maintenance. I like simple things......I like to go to the dollar movies or the matinee.....hardly ever pay full price for a movie....I don't have to have popcorn & drink every time......I hardly ever wear dresses....have you guys ever tried putting pantyhose on......maybe I don't want to know the answer to that.

I used to never go out of the house without makeup and my hair washed and styled, not even to the grocery store. Don't get me wrong, I still want to look decent, but I have realized that it doesn't have to be the number one priority.

Who has time to dust......I love the Dollar Tree......I love to go to garage sales or thrift stores for bargains......

I like to go out to a nice restaurant for birthdays or special occasions, but I also understand if funds are tight.

Well, you just earned a thousand points in my book. I might be higher maintenance than you. I love yard-saling, not 'cause I need to but just to bargain-hunt and have something to do. I won't do a dollar movie though, I've been there years ago and the crowd appeared less than safe. When I buy something I'm quality and not price oriented but I seldom buy anything that doesn't have a purpose (I think that's man-thinking.) I can go for a buffet every bit as fast as Outback....very rarely McD's or Long John Silvers.

You ever been to that Farmer's Market building downtown on Exchange St.?...Not the vegetable part but the antiques part...I could spend hours in there.

[Curt]

I personally love a woman that wears blue jeans and a t shirt and wears little or no makeup...something also about a woman wearing a baseball cap with her hair pulled through the back is real sexy to me.

[amethystgirl]

Well, you just earned a thousand points in my book. I might be higher maintenance than you. I love yard-saling, not 'cause I need to but just to bargain-hunt and have something to do. I won't do a dollar movie though, I've been there years ago and the crowd appeared less than safe. When I buy something I'm quality and not price oriented but I seldom buy anything that doesn't have a purpose (I think that's man-thinking.) I can go for a buffet every bit as fast as Outback....very rarely McD's or Long John Silvers.

You ever been to that Farmer's Market building downtown on Exchange St.?...Not the vegetable part but the antiques part...I could spend hours in there.

The last time I went to the dollar movie on Shields (now closed), I felt uneasy.

No, I haven't been in the antique part of the Farmer's Market in several years. I do go to the veg stands to buy green tomatoes for fried green tomatoes.

I like buffets too. I also like to have a good steak.....Texas Roadhouse has great steaks and their mashed potatoes are great. I don't like McD's very much, except for the fries or ice cream. But I go there quite often for my young granddaughters. Do you have kids/grandkids?

[sweetdaisy]

perhaps you two should email each other

[Leon]

Would ya call yourself HM?
Ya didn't seem so.
HM and hot aren't the same thing.

[bandnerd]

See, to me "high maintenence" means so much more than just appearance. I know some people that I would consider to be this and they aren't people who are obsessed with appearance. They are just demanding for time and attention. I would rather have someone who has 200 pairs of shoes than someone who is uber-clingy and constantly in need of affirmation.