Things kids want most in their parents.

[Keith]

. 10 Things kids want most in their parents:

• Parents who don’t argue in front of them.
• Parents who treat each member of the family the same.
• Parents who are honest.
• Parents who are tolerant of others.
• Parents who welcome their friends to their home.
• Parents who build team spirit with their children.
• Parents who answer their questions.
• Parents who give punishment when needed, but not in front of others.
• Parents who concentrate on good points instead of weak points.
• Parents who are consistent.

As a parent, I can proudly say that I can follow this list with no problem.

[Patrick]

It seems like the two things children most need from their parents are attention/time and love! Unfortunately, in today's fast paced society, these needs are tough to provide, especially in the case of single parenthood.

[Jay]

I agree with all of these request. This agrees with my philosphy on raising a child.

A child needs parents who are mentors. A child does not need adult best friends, nor discplinarians.

The best parents in the world make the child feel loved with all the love in the world. They listen to thier kids answer thier questions. They teach lessons and discipline when mistakes are made. They are there to encourage thier children to be brave and courageous. They encourage their child to set goals and complete them. Most of all they live thier life by leading by example.

[mranderson]

I write some very kind and sincere things about my Dad, however, there is some areas I have yet to address about him.

When I was a kid, and even well into my adulthood, he was a very unkind parent. Granted, to this day, he is quite generous finacially, however, he was, and in a small way, still is, an emotional abuser.

I had to live in some mental torture by being called "no good," "a failure," and many other negative things, that to this day, still haunt me. I was told "you won't amount to much," and other expressions like it. He never taught me some of the life lessons a dad is to teach his son. Rights of passage, if you will. It has handicapped me in many aspects of life. Possibly the working world, and even in some social skills. Yes. I can "work a room," I am very polite, articulate, and in some areas quite social. However, there are areas I do not excell. I was not taught to physically defend myself, not taught a lot about sports, did not do "fun" things with my dad, and more. Granted. I loved the time we spent on politics and business. Had it not been for him, I probably would not have the passion for politics that most on this forum know I possess. There are other areas of my life he failed to teach that are so secret, only a small number of hand selected people know about them. He has caused a great deal of pain, and shame. To this day, I am quite afraid of him. In fact, to be honest, this post is among the hardest I have written emotionally. The only one that will be harder is when I announce the loss of my dad when that occurs. I will probably ask someone else to do that.

What is the point of sharing all this with you? A simple answer. What I described is no way to treat a child... Or an adult for that matter. I know of no kid that wants to be treated to this kind of toruture. It lives with you. It haunts you. It eats you inside. It hurts... For life.

[Midtowner]

I agree with the list.

Anderson, thanks for sharing about your father. I'm sure that he loves you very much. It's just that parents often look at life and what's important differently than their kids do.

I was lucky to have a dad who even though he was VERY involved in politics, (to the extent that we had to have our house checked for bugs regularly on orders of the A.G.), I was really never aware of it. He took me fishing (against my wishes, and I hate fishing to this day), coached my little league teams, all those kinds of things. In the end, I'm hopeful that I'm half as good as him at what he does once I'm finished with school.

I know we have our differences from time to time, but seriously, thanks for sharing. You're a good guy overall and your parents raised you well.

[Karried]

Mranderson, that was very touching and so very sad. I think most parents aren't equipped - we don't have instructions on raising kids. Dad's especially lack some of the skills needed to nurture their sons.

I know this might sound glib, but please know that it comes from the heart, some wounds need to heal with the help of someone who is trained in how to help you recover from the emotional abuse you suffered as a child. I think that maybe you could benefit from meeting with someone such as a therapist, or counselor who can help you work some of the hurt. I think it will help you move on and heal.

My dad was horrible, beat up my mom, cut off her thumb on my 8th birthday trying to stab her, (Happy Birthday), emotionally abused us all, had another baby while married to my mom, never paid a penny of child support, we were so poor and he faked his own death so he could find out if we cared about him, on and on... I saw him 20 years ago for the last time.

And I moved on, Next! as I like to say.

What I am really trying to say is that parents can be so cruel and mean to kids, but remember this, it is not a flaw of the child but a flaw of the parent who should have known better. You were innocent and naive and trusting and believed what an elder told you - your job now? Prove him wrong. Make yourself the best person you know how to be and say "I told you so!"

You are smart and intelligent, nice and caring about others, don't let anyone tell you different.
Not even a parent.