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The Walt Disney Co., in a surprise major press event on Thursday at their Burbank, Ca headquarters, revealed plans for their newest American theme resort to be built in the midwestern United States. The announced project, slated to open in 2011, is estimated to cost over 2.6 billion dollars and will be located in the small town of Edmond, just northeast of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. It will feature two major theme parks, five hotels, 2 golf courses, and an expansive new monorail system to transport visitors throughout the entire resort. "We're very excited about this new expansion," said Disney CEO Bob Iger, "We've been waiting very long for this moment and we're glad it's finally here!" Sources close to Disney state that the new resort will unprecedented in scale and theme.
Citizens of Oklahoma couldn't be more excited. The sounds of shotguns and air-horns could be heard ringing throughout the air. "We told everyone it was coming," said Oklahoma City resident Aaron Tuttle, "Now no one can doubt that Oklahoma City is in the 'Big league!'" Local Businesses jumped on the celebration of the good news by immediately raising prices and re-labeling everyday objects as "Disney" memorabilia.
Questions were raised as to how this new Disney theme park resort will effect attendance at Frontier City, Oklahoma's current amusement park. When asked, Frontier City GM Stephen Ball responded, "Sure, Disney has millions of dollars, customer service, decent employees, and a handful of world-class parks. But I think they're going to have a real hard time beating the Silver Bullet."
Construction is said to begin in the fall of 2008. The official name for the new resort is Walt Disney's Aubrey McLendland. Attendance projections show that the new resort's 4.7 million annual guests won't even put a dent into Oklahoma City's thriving tourism market. Oklahoma City legislators are drafting an agreement to divert 734 million in funds from highway maintenance to build a Toby Keith themed gift shop adjacent to the resort entrance.
In related news, News9 KWTV Chief Meteorologist Gary England is already looking for ways to throw tornados at it.
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