How to meet people in OKC?

[bchris02]

I have been in OKC for a year now after moving from Charlotte. I love the job I have here and this was definitely an excellent career move for me. However, my social life still is pretty much limited to Skyping with friends back in Charlotte. The thing is, I am an introvert so I don't make friends as easily as a lot of people. I find myself unique in that I am a guy who doesn't like sports except for being a casual Thunder follower and am into the arts. I am also in my late 20s and not married yet and don't want to be for a few more years. I am also the kind of guy who likes to get out and do stuff. So far, my attempt to discover my niche in OKC has been very rocky.

I have tried the church scene and have tried most of the most popular churches around town i.e. Lifechurch, Victory, Crossings, etc and have found that the church scene is very family oriented and I stick out like a sore thumb being 28 now and not married (this wasn't a problem in Charlotte). I have not found anywhere with an active singles group like where I went out in Charlotte. I have done some volunteer work since I've been here but didn't form lasting relationships that way. How else is there to meet people in this city? I haven't tried Meetup.com because I had a terrible experience with it when I moved to Charlotte. Maybe its better here and need to face my fear. Nonetheless, being an introvert is a huge hurdle I have to overcome but I did it easily in Charlotte so it would make sense that I should be able to here.

Despite sometimes being overly harsh on OKC on this forum I think it's a city I could learn to love if I could find my niche. For those on this forum who relocated from elsewhere, knowing nobody here, how long did it take you to really feel at home and how did you go about it?

[zookeeper]

I have been in OKC for a year now after moving from Charlotte. I love the job I have here and this was definitely an excellent career move for me. However, my social life still is pretty much limited to Skyping with friends back in Charlotte. The thing is, I am an introvert so I don't make friends as easily as a lot of people. I find myself unique in that I am a guy who doesn't like sports except for being a casual Thunder follower and am into the arts. I am also in my late 20s and not married yet and don't want to be for a few more years. I am also the kind of guy who likes to get out and do stuff. So far, my attempt to discover my niche in OKC has been very rocky.

I have tried the church scene and have tried most of the most popular churches around town i.e. Lifechurch, Victory, Crossings, etc and have found that the church scene is very family oriented and I stick out like a sore thumb being 28 now and not married (this wasn't a problem in Charlotte). I have not found anywhere with an active singles group like where I went out in Charlotte. I have done some volunteer work since I've been here but didn't form lasting relationships that way. How else is there to meet people in this city? I haven't tried Meetup.com because I had a terrible experience with it when I moved to Charlotte. Maybe its better here and need to face my fear. Nonetheless, being an introvert is a huge hurdle I have to overcome but I did it easily in Charlotte so it would make sense that I should be able to here.

Despite sometimes being overly harsh on OKC on this forum I think it's a city I could learn to love if I could find my niche. For those on this forum who relocated from elsewhere, knowing nobody here, how long did it take you to really feel at home and how did you go about it?

Making new friends can be tough for guys at any age. Have you tried pubs? I don't mean the "club scene" or even the "bar scene" but neighborhood pubs where you can sit around and join in a conversation easily and meet new people. I find Oklahoma City extremely friendly in that area. Just something to think about. It's also easy to go alone, because so many of the others are alone as well, after work, lunch time, etc. Don't feel like you have to order alcohol either. They're really just good spots for simple food and good conversation. Good luck!

[Pete]

Skinny Slim's is an incredibly friendly local bar with a great, casual crowd. Just go any night and look for our Sid Burgess and he'll introduce you to everyone there. And I'm not kidding in the least.


Where do you live? If not downtown I'd highly recommend moving down there, getting involved in Urban Neighbors, etc. It's extremely friendly and everyone gets to know each other eventually.


Perhaps you could volunteer at the OKC Museum of Art or at least go to some of their socials. Same goes for many other museums and galleries.

[bchris02]

Making new friends can be tough for guys at any age. Have you tried pubs? I don't mean the "club scene" or even the "bar scene" but neighborhood pubs where you can sit around and join in a conversation easily and meet new people. I find Oklahoma City extremely friendly in that area. Just something to think about. It's also easy to go alone, because so many of the others are alone as well, after work, lunch time, etc. Don't feel like you have to order alcohol either. They're really just good spots for simple food and good conversation. Good luck!

No, I have not. I have always been nervous about going to a bar/pub alone. Is there any specific places you would recommend?

[bchris02]

Skinny Slim's is an incredibly friendly local bar with a great, casual crowd. Just go any night and look for our Sid Burgess and he'll introduce you to everyone there. And I'm not kidding in the least.


Where do you live? If not downtown I'd highly recommend moving down there, getting involved in Urban Neighbors, etc. It's extremely friendly and everyone gets to know each other eventually.


Perhaps you could volunteer at the OKC Museum of Art or at least go to some of their socials. Same goes for many other museums and galleries.

Thanks for that suggestion. I'll look into the OKC Museum of Art thing as well as Skinny Slim's. I live in the Gaillardia area by the way but am willing to drive to downtown OKC. I know its not optimal for my age but I have my reasons for living up here and am stuck for at least another year.

[Roger S]

I can't really give any good advice here but I can sympathize with you as a fellow introvert.... Lived here 34 of my 44 years and to this day don't really have a circle of friends. I have a few acquaintances that I share activities with occasionally but even in a crowd of people I'm generally by myself.

[BBatesokc]

I was single until my late 20's and fairly convinced I wasn't going to get married any time soon. Then, a co-worker set me up on a blind date and four months after that date I proposed - so, there is hope!

I worked so much up to that point that my 'friends' were often limited to those I worked around and those friendships seemed to be mostly limited to when I was at work.

I found that simply staying active in the things I enjoyed led to meeting people with similar qualities and likes. When I tried to force it (like going to churches I wouldn't have otherwise gone to, or going to bars when I'm not a 'bar person' only led to disaster). Even met one or two people online and those were total nightmares.

My wife and I are pretty social now and my closest friends were either met in our YMCA classes, are longtime classmate friends or I met professionally. From those relationships often new introductions are made and our circle expands.

Just do what you like doing and start doing more of it so that you are exposed to more people. If you're a good person and available (for friendship or relationship) then others of the same status will naturally find you. At least that's how it always worked for me.

[soonerguru]

Thanks for that suggestion. I'll look into the OKC Museum of Art thing as well as Skinny Slim's. I live in the Gaillardia area by the way but am willing to drive to downtown OKC. I know its not optimal for my age but I have my reasons for living up here and am stuck for at least another year.

Gosh, this explains a lot. Not a good place to be for a young single person.

[boscorama]

If you're a dog person and don't have a dog, get one. People seem to be drawn to dog walkers.

Otherwise, please know that significant others often emerge from the darndest of places and situations.

[Plutonic Panda]

I have been in OKC for a year now after moving from Charlotte. I love the job I have here and this was definitely an excellent career move for me. However, my social life still is pretty much limited to Skyping with friends back in Charlotte. The thing is, I am an introvert so I don't make friends as easily as a lot of people. I find myself unique in that I am a guy who doesn't like sports except for being a casual Thunder follower and am into the arts. I am also in my late 20s and not married yet and don't want to be for a few more years. I am also the kind of guy who likes to get out and do stuff. So far, my attempt to discover my niche in OKC has been very rocky.

I have tried the church scene and have tried most of the most popular churches around town i.e. Lifechurch, Victory, Crossings, etc and have found that the church scene is very family oriented and I stick out like a sore thumb being 28 now and not married (this wasn't a problem in Charlotte). I have not found anywhere with an active singles group like where I went out in Charlotte. I have done some volunteer work since I've been here but didn't form lasting relationships that way. How else is there to meet people in this city? I haven't tried Meetup.com because I had a terrible experience with it when I moved to Charlotte. Maybe its better here and need to face my fear. Nonetheless, being an introvert is a huge hurdle I have to overcome but I did it easily in Charlotte so it would make sense that I should be able to here.

Despite sometimes being overly harsh on OKC on this forum I think it's a city I could learn to love if I could find my niche. For those on this forum who relocated from elsewhere, knowing nobody here, how long did it take you to really feel at home and how did you go about it?

I'm the same way man. After I left my friends in Dallas, I really haven't made very many friends here :P I still have a few friends down there I talk to and occasionally visit and a friend I met on Xbox Live and he lives in Jacksonville lol Hopefully I might meet some people in college. But all in all, I'm not too social. Luckily I have family. I can't imagine what it is like for you though, your friends are all the way in Charlotte and no family here(from what you've said).

Are you looking for a female partner or just friendship? If you're active and and looking for women to meet and date, there are some really smokin hot girls down at the Bricktown Climbing Gym and I've gotten a few of their numbers. Haven't really got any further than that, I'm shy and that is likely reason, but you could try there. Maybe yoga? People at the gym seem to be pretty friendly and the sauna is a good opportunity to start a conversation.

As much as it pains me to say it, being more pro-suburb, people in urban areas such as Midtown, Deep Deuce, Uptown, ect. seem to be more socially open to new friendships and more active than people in suburban areas, at least from what I've noticed. The problem with Edmond, is to really become friends with people, you kinda have fall into their category of an "ideal" friend as to people in Midtown are more open minded and willing to be friends with a wider category of people. That's just my 2 cents though.

[poe]

I, too, was a very introverted person until my last few years of college. Growing up in Arkansas as an only child, I was very close to my parents, and I thought that being anything different from what they wanted me to be (married, children, church-going, etc.) was wrong. When I moved to Texas to finish school, I began to surround myself with people from all walks of life, and I was introduced to different cultures, backgrounds, and orientations. I also began to participate in school activities, community events, and social scenes, which eventually led me to meet plenty of people. I also learned not to take myself too seriously.

I agree with all the comments on here. I'd like to say one thing, though: don't try too hard to meet people. As long as you like yourself, they'll naturally gravitate towards you. I also love the "pub" suggestion; it's always nice to find a place you like and can become a "regular" with the staff. For me, it was Chili's in Amarillo (sad, but true).

[bchris02]

Thanks for all the replies this far! I wish this part of the forum had a 'Like' button. To clarify, right now I am really just looking for friends and not a dating relationship. I'll definitely have to check out the OKC Museum of Art and Skinny Slim's as well as anything else suggested here.

[betts]

Have you tried the "meet ups"? My son is in the same situation, although the move was just from Norman. Since they're designed for people who want to meet other people, I would think everyone is open to making new friends.

Meetups near Oklahoma City, Oklahoma - Meetup

[bchris02]

Have you tried the "meet ups"? My son is in the same situation, although the move was just from Norman. Since they're designed for people who want to meet other people, I would think everyone is open to making new friends.

Meetups near Oklahoma City, Oklahoma - Meetup

Like I said, I have a very bad experience with those when I lived in Charlotte. I may give them another try here but I am somewhat nervous about it and therefore haven't tried it.

[betts]

Sorry, I must not have read down far enough to see your comment about meetup. My son hasn't said anything negative about them here. How about joining some volunteer organizations that are more likely to have people your age? I know there's a younger person's branch of Making Oklahoma City Beautiful. Volunteer organizations are a good way of meeting people because you're working together rather than trying to make casual conversation. I bet there are some volunteer organizations that have concentrations of younger people in them. Join Urban Neighbors and bowl in their league. Go on the moonlight bike rides downtown.

[Mr. Cotter]

Based on the replies, it seems like we could start an OKCTalk introvert club.

I'm also 28, but married with no kids. My wife and I stick out in any church we've visited here, too. I work with a people my parent's age, and anyone younger works for me - so work relationships are limited to work.

I really like OKC, but we're all a bit too spread out to just bump into new friends.

[catch22]

You seem to share a lot of interest with people on this forum...

Why not start there. I have several friends I have met on OKCTalk who are now very good friends of mine. Come to H&8th next week, ill be there and I'm sure many other OKCtalk people will be there.

[catch22]

And while we're thinking of downtown festivals... There is one every Friday except months with 5 Fridays. Good places to interact with people of a similar mindset and interests.

[bradh]

Do you play sports? When my wife and I moved here in January 2009, we didn't know a soul here either. My wife eventually became great friends with some coworkers, but at first, we flew "solo." I signed up with COASL (Central Oklahoma Adult Soccer Leagues) as a single player, got put on a team, made friends there. My wife started playing indoor soccer with some guys I played outdoor with, and we made friends through that.

If you're into the arts and what not, you can look into the Overture group with the OKCPhil. My wife and I just joined that as well.

[bradh]

Oops, just read the part of your first post about not liking sports. The 2nd part of my post would be more fitting for you then.

[foodiefan]

. . .Overture would be a great direction to look as well as OKCMOA. Also might want to head down for the Friday Art Walks in the Paseo as well as events in the Plaza District. Think Lyric has a group especially for younger supporters as well. You might try calling Alllied Arts and asking for a list of the groups that have groups for the younger crowd. Church related, but into the arts. . .check St Luke's/Poteet Theater. Don't give up!!

[Pete]

You seem to share a lot of interest with people on this forum...

Why not start there. I have several friends I have met on OKCTalk who are now very good friends of mine. Come to H&8th next week, ill be there and I'm sure many other OKCtalk people will be there.

Very good points.

Wish you would have come to our gathering last week.

Lots of cool people were there and no all are super out-going.

[catch22]

Very good points.

Wish you would have come to our gathering last week.

Lots of cool people were there and no all are super out-going.

And one good thing about meeting people through this forum is: there's a lot in common. I'm typically a pretty reserved person and don't start conversations usually. But knowing common ground is easy to get things going.

[kevinpate]

Drive down S Robinson
Pull to the curb.
Offer 20 for a guided tour of the area.
Pull into a vacant parking lot.
Count to 12
At 11, tell your guide she can leave
At 12, turn to your left, open your door and say 'Hi Bbates, nice camera.'

Or you could just go to H&8th or do a First Fridays art walk ( First Friday. The Paseo Arts District )

[adaniel]

All good suggestions, and I really don't have much to add.

Since you went to church, I am assuming that you are somewhat religious. It doesn't surprise me you had issues with the churches you went to. I would suggest looking into some churches closer to the city center. I will plug my own, PeoplesChurch. It is very diverse and welcoming. As a 27 year old single male, I have NEVER felt ostracized because of my relationship status. I have also heard good things about FrontLine as well.

That brings me to my next point. I hate to bring this up, because I feel you can't discuss a baloney sandwich on here without it disintegrating into a city vs. suburbs shouting match. But in the long run, I think you need to relocate deeper into the city. Not necessarily even Midtown, Deep Deuce, etc. but everything that will help you meet others is going to be located either DT or very close to it. One thing I learned being a transplant from a larger city is that in OKC, outside of Norman, there are no suburban type areas that are going to attract a lot of young and/or single people (i.e. Addison in Dallas or Galleria area in Houston). I have posted on here in the past that I felt very isolated when I lived off of NWX, and have since moved to midtown.

All in all, don't give up on OKC just yet. Outside of being an OU alum, I am none of the stereotypical "okie" things. And yet I have found my niche here. It took me some time but eventually it happened. While I don't always care for some of the social or political aspects of life in OKC, people here really are quite nice and sociable. In the mean time, come out to Cocktails on the Skyline at OKCMOA Thursday or H&8th this Friday and just mingle around. I always strike up a conversation or 2 when I am at both places.