What I hate about being single

[sweetdaisy]

I've been single for over a year now, and I've made a few observations about the good and bad about singledom. Let me first say that I am a grossly independent woman (almost to a fault) who rarely needs help from people. I'm highly functional and can do anything around my home that needs to be done. For the most parrt, I enjoy my singleness, but do have a few complaints.

I'd really like to hear what other folks hate about being single. But here's my list in the meantime:

1. I have to kill my own bugs. (Yuck)
2. Taking my car in for day-long maintenance work is a pain...you have to find someone who isn't put out by picking you up and hauling you back to the car repair.
3. No really good romantic dinners. (there's only so many romantic dinners I can have by myself before it gets old)
4. Not having anyone to hold me close when i have a bad day. I think this is the worst one, b/c lately I've been having a lot of bad days at work.

These are the big ones for now. I've had some little successes on my own recently, so not having someone here to do things for me just made me puff with pride.

what do you guys think? what do you hate about it all?

[Curt]

The lack of intimacy is the only thing I miss about being with someone..but the games that go along with it to me just are not worth it. I can cook, clean the house, do my laundry, pay me bills, do my shopping, etc., etc. But the one thing I cannot do on my own just aint worth the games.

[mranderson]

(although I do not have to worry about this anymore) A dozen roses and a candle light dinner for one.

[dirtrider73068]

1. I have to kill my own bugs. (Yuck)
2. Taking my car in for day-long maintenance work is a pain...you have to find someone who isn't put out by picking you up and hauling you back to the car repair.
3. No really good romantic dinners. (there's only so many romantic dinners I can have by myself before it gets old)
4. Not having anyone to hold me close when i have a bad day. I think this is the worst one, b/c lately I've been having a lot of bad days at work.

Number 1 and 2 I don't have to worry I can kill my own bugs, and I can do most if not all my own car work. Now 3 and 4 those I miss, really right now its number 4 I miss the most. There is nothing more comforting than haveing someone hold you telling you everything is going to be ok. For me in the drepressing state I have been in and fighting it for over a year, it helps me out. Another thing is haveing another person to have a conversation with about my days events. Haveing dinner already cooked and ready to eat when I get home. My list could on and on.

[sweetdaisy]

Another one that annoys me:

Cooking for one. Do they actually make cookbooks for the single? In regular cookbooks, every recipe makes enough for a family. geez. I can only do leftovers a couple days!

[Curt]

They do make cookbooks for single people, that have recipe's for small portions. I actually ordered a few of these a few years back from Campbells soups, they had some kind of coupon in one of the flyers that came in my mail to order these books and they have some good recipes in them.

[gbyte]

1) The lack of having someone there to be close with (hugs/kisses/holding)
2) Lack of having that other person you can talk to whenever you need to

[Karried]

What's interesting is that we could have a thread titled:

"What I hate about being married"
"What I hate about being divorced"
"What I hate about being a widow"

Sometimes the grass is always greener ... :-)

[sweetdaisy]

What's interesting is that we could have a thread titled:

"What I hate about being married"
"What I hate about being divorced"
"What I hate about being a widow"

Sometimes the grass is always greener ... :-)

I think being widowed or divorced gets you back to the whole single thing.

[okieopus]

February 14...i hate this day most of all

[Karried]

I think being widowed or divorced gets you back to the whole single thing.

LOL, yes, you are right - but most people don't choose to lose a spouse or have someone leave them and I know some people who like and want to be single so maybe there are a few differences...

I think it's a great discussion though - I guess my poorly worded post was to say that we all sometimes wish our lives were 'like' someone elses or different .. and really, I think I want some of the singles who might be feeling lonely at this time of year to realize that all the 'warm, fuzzy pictures' you see all around aren't always indicitive of reality.. more than likely the couple just had a fight or the kids just threw a tantrum.. look around, sometimes married couples look miserable ( I've watched couples sit through an entire meal without speaking - that's a slow death in my opinion) and sometimes singles look miserable.

I remember when I was between relationships, I felt that everyone had a partner and I was the only single person to be found.. it seemed as if everyone was in love - the reality was they were probably miserable and just in the relationship out of fear of being alone..

BTW, Sweetdaisy, I love your photo in the gallery - I couldn't rate it for some reason but it's really cute - 10!

Anyway, I guess I want the singles to feel okay about their choices at this time of year.

[Curt]

Thanks Karrie and your right, the grass may always seem greener on the other side of things, but it aint always that way. It took me awhile to adapt the attitude of just making the best of a situation and being happy with what you have at the time and to be honest I am happy right now even though I am alone it's all good. I see alot of people that are married and miserable and vise versa but I guess as long as you can get up out of bed everyday and go on with life and have a roof over your head and your health, things aint that bad.

[Jay]

I think the only thing I truly hate about being single is coming home to an empty apartment. It sure would be nice to have someone greet me when I come home. Someone who could laugh with me at the old episodes of Night Court that I TIVO.

Other than that rest is an adventure for me especially since I am still learning this whole concept called cooking. Which would be another benefit to having a woman around.

I would not want her to cook for me (unless she wanted to) I just want to learn more than bake at 450 and cook for 5 1/2 minutes vent film cover over entree. I'm terrible when it comes to recipes. The good news is I have not started any fires and I have not had food poisoning so far.

The rest of the household stuff I am an ace at. Five years of living in military barracks and having to wash, press and fold your own laundry will make any man an expert at household chores.

Oh and yes I handle my own bugs too. I try to catch and release when I can if it flies it dies instantly.

[kellekokid]

I miss having some one to have conversations with, laugh with at your silly jokes or whatever. Feeling like you belong to someone and they to you. (I mean that in a good way not MINE!!) I enjoy cooking for someone(s) who will appreciate it. I agree, sweetdaisy, cooking for one is a drag. I also miss at the end of the day spooning with someone and pillowtalking for a little while before you get comfy on your own side of the bed and drifting off to sleep smiling.

[hercules]

what i hate about being single is constantly fighting with myself over why it's so difficult for me to trust someone. relationships these days don't seem to last as long as they might have been like in days past. but, the most difficult thing is that cloud of lonliness that hangs over me. add that with having no idea how to talk to women and you got yourself a person who has to live with a fear of never meeting anyone who will cherish, adore, respect, and love you for the rest of your life.

welcome to my world.

[sweetdaisy]

I also kinda miss the variety in laundry. it'd be nice to iron a shirt without darts for a change (for you guys that don't know what darts are, they give a woman's blouse it's shape) or see some men's underwear tumbling around in my basket of unmentionables.

Kellekokid, you're right on the nose with spooning, too. OHHHH...I love spooning.

Oh, and OklaCity? You can usually pop those entrees in the microwave, too. That's what I do. LOL!

[Karried]

Hercules, welcome! I guess you have to weigh out what you think might hurt more, falling in love and possibly risk losing that love or never trying and never feeling love... it is scary, no doubt about that.... I think if you turn it around and think to yourself about the person who might be just as lonely as you are and how you might help ease their loneliness, it might help you to take the risk... there is someone out there just waiting for you...

[dirtrider73068]

what i hate about being single is constantly fighting with myself over why it's so difficult for me to trust someone. relationships these days don't seem to last as long as they might have been like in days past. but, the most difficult thing is that cloud of lonliness that hangs over me. add that with having no idea how to talk to women and you got yourself a person who has to live with a fear of never meeting anyone who will cherish, adore, respect, and love you for the rest of your life.

welcome to my world.

Ditto have been there am there, don't like being there. I am in your world I know exactacly what its like. Anymore I do my thing, if she that one is intrested in wanting to get to know me more she will have to appraoch me and make me believe and trust her, I don't any woman or person for that matter, can think they one wife for that she cheated on me, broke my trust with anybody.

[Jay]

I also kinda miss the variety in laundry. it'd be nice to iron a shirt without darts for a change (for you guys that don't know what darts are, they give a woman's blouse it's shape) or see some men's underwear tumbling around in my basket of unmentionables.

Kellekokid, you're right on the nose with spooning, too. OHHHH...I love spooning.

Oh, and OklaCity? You can usually pop those entrees in the microwave, too. That's what I do. LOL!

OHHH that is what that big white box with clock on it is for...... and to think I have been using it to dry my underwear and socks all this time. LOL

I love spoons too their great for well........... never mind I'll behave myself and I won't go there.

LOL:boff:

[kellekokid]

since this is called what I hate about being single and things such as laundry and bug killing are right up there at the top for we girls I thought I'd add getting the oil change done on the car. I noticed just yesterday that mine needs it and the best thing I can think about it is the place I take it to has "lady's day" on Tuesdays so guess that's where I'll be this coming Tuesday Oh the anticipation!!

[Leon]

February 14...i hate this day most of all

Doesn't that just about say it all?

[Leon]

What do I hate most about being single?: Absolutely everything!

In particular: That empty hole in my soul that manifests itself as a belly-ache.

[kellekokid]

along with getting the oil change....pretty much anything to do with car repairs...however, I'm gonna brag on myself a quick second. I had a tail light/blinker out on my car...not a good thing since I have a 45 min. drive home after work..in the dark....and pass at least 2 well known places the cops like to sit and wait on traffic. Anyway. I got to Autozone got the lights to replace them, got home to do so, had the wrong ones, went back got the right ones and then got them put in and now both lights work grand! Would I have preferred to say Honey I have a light out, can you fix that for me?? You bet I would have. However~~
I think most of us singles could say we don't need a partner. Want one? ummm yeah..

[sweetdaisy]

Congrats to you, kellekokid! That's awesome you took care of it yourself! YAY!

I totally agree with your final comment. "most of us singles could say we don't need a partner. Want one? ummm yeah..." This caused me to contemplate a statement I read from mariner in another thread saying that "women don't need men". It was one that really stumped me. Perhaps someone can set me straight on this...since when does one person REQUIRE (need) someone else? Certainly, it's really great to have a partner, however it's not required in order to lead wonderful fulfilling life.

Several folks on this thread have commented about the loneliness and emptiness of singledom...may I offer this suggestion: try enjoying your life WITHOUT feeling you HAVE to be in a relationship. I think everyone talks themselves into thinking they aren't a complete person or have less to offer just because they are single. Stop thinking that way. It's not true! Some of the unhappiest people I know are married.

I just hate having to kill my own bugs!!!!

[dirtrider73068]

I have thought about that did once already when I lived alone didn't like it then and don't like it now. And I never will, its not that its a comentment its just haveing someone to talk to when I problem approaches. Like right now I have no body I can talk to about my happens or a how I am feeling. I hav eto keep it bottled up and then that makes its worse. Alot of being alone I have just dealt with cause I know deep down, I will be like this for a long time to come.