Women and Love

[Leon]

Dkaye, you've only seen the hurt Leon, not the true one. Too bad,.....he understands now and he's available.....with a clear, acceptable, understandable reason why.

I willingly accept this hurt tonight.....I WOULD die for her well-being. I can get better now, and quickly.

Now I can try again with 100% effort.

[Curt]

Leon, I hope things work out for you friend. Not that it makes it any easier to lose someone you love with all your heart, it sucks bad still, but at least you now know the reason.

[Leon]

Dkaye.....if your out to meet people in the next few weeks, please say, "D K" within the first few minutes, if it's me I may want to bow out.

[Leon]

Mariner, this is the first love I've lost on good terms.....odd to lose one and feel good that it was the right thing. She's the best..........Funny, .....challenge me to say anything bad about her tonight, no way.

[Curt]

Leon, if mine had told me the truth from the beginning why she could not see me anymore, I would have understood and I would have not got defensive and ruined it, all people need is the truth from the beginning and most would understand. I wish mine had done that and we could still at least be friends, and I am trying still to fix it, with all my heart I want to fix it, but she is being very hard to deal with right now.

[Leon]

Mariner, I'm not the best, but I can USUALLY read people....In my situation, she couldn't hurt me.....it's not really a concious decision, but she chose to fight a breakup. Maybe our relationship could've gone a step further...feeling comfortable that tha partner would understand a break up........sometimes true love is demonstrated by letting go.

[Curt]

I am usually pretty good at reading people also, but this came like a shot in the night for me, totally unexpected, I guess that is what hurts the most. I know I will find someone and love that person, but I just want the honest truth why things went south with the girl I was seeing, then I could let go. I will not close my heart off to anyone still, I am a good man with alot to give the right woman who wants it, and she will be happy or I will die trying.

[Leon]

I have a HUGE problem, Mariner. What do I do....what....after what I believe to be the best woman to ever walk the earth? I swear to the world to be open and not compare. I will try my best.

[Curt]

I have a HUGE problem, Mariner. What do I do....what....after what I believe to be the best woman to ever walk the earth? I swear to the world to be open and not compare. I will try my best.

I feel your pain brother, trust me. She helped me get over one, and now another needs to come along.

[Leon]

Yep, I need another, soon.

I actually dunno a good singles place around OKC.
I'm traveling this week anyway.
Never had a one night stand but this'll be my first trip to Seattle w/o one I'm comitted to.

[osupa05]

Please, Mr. Leon, I implore you, don't have a one night stand... In my opinion it will only make it hurt worse. I know lots of people say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else... but it can only end in more heartache (at least in my perspective). Time... it's the best thing. I don't think you will ever replace her, and I don't think that should/will. I hate to bring sappy ole movies into this, (especially since you are going there), but "sleepless in Seattle" mirrors my way of thinking sort of... You can/will love again. It won't be the same, because she won't be the same person. And, you are right to not compare them, it wouldn't be fair to either of them. I don't know how to "not" compare them... but, maybe since you are male it will be easier for you! It's evidence that you truly love this woman... (I think you were anti-church, but..). "Greater love have no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friend. (aj's paraphrse)" So, just know that I am slighty jealous (last time I was in love was a long time ago)... your love sounds beautiful and it's every girl's dream to be loved that way. But, I know that you hurt, and I'm sorry (for what it's worth). Have fun in Seattle, and if I knew where all the singles places where I'd let you know...

[Karried]

Leon, I'm glad that you are feeling better about things... you still have a long road to travel though and it's not going to be a breeze.. but I hope you know we care about you here as cheesy as that may sound, it's true.

Here's my opinion, take it or leave it.... you are going to have to force yourself to not glorify and make this ex a saint... it will only make it worse for you in trying to find a 'normal' girl to date. You will have to not compare the next one to this ex girlfriend because she will never stack up - and now you won't have the anger to help propel you through the grief process.

Sometime it helps when going through a break up to be brutally honest about the other person - I mean no one is perfect and it might help you to focus on some of her flaws in order for you to move on and meet someone else. If all you do is focus on her flawless beauty and perfect personality and wonderfulness ( is that a word?) you won't see the good in anyone else. Think about the things that you didn't always like, things that drove you crazy and try to keep her off of a pedestal in your mind.

But, we are all moving way ahead here - you need to heal before going out and starting anew. Give yourself a little time.

[Leon]

Osupa, thanks, I'll get by it, I know I will......I doubt highly a one night stand....Honestly, it's never happened for Leon anyway....I doubt it will now.

Karried, I understand, new people, new personalities. Do you think though a new love could accept that my last love left on a good note?.....That I have abosolutely no ill will towards her?.....Do you think a new love could allow any communication with the old one?....Birthday, Christmas cards?.....I wonder....it may take just as strong or stronger a love as I had. Should I tell the old one I will never talk to her again?.....I will always care for her....Maybe I need to ask her about it.....Now I see how telling someone to kiss off can be the easy way out.

Everybody, opinions?

[Leon]

Karried, BTW, I new her for four years, and the ONLY thing we did not agree on was that she liked multi-colored Christmas lights and I liked them all the same......until now, when one could say she was withholding from me.....but she WAS protecting me as long as she could....as painful as it was, it is solace now.

[kellekokid]

Hey Leon I would hope a new love would understand about an old one and understand too that it could end in a non negative way... I would think some communication between you two would be okay, too much might cause issues however. I don't think you should say you wouldn't ever talk to her again especially if you are pretty sure you will be talking to her... no need to start the new off with what could potentionally be seen as a lie. I think too the when a person talks to the previous love would be telling...like on a date with the new or if you two are spending the evening cooking dinner and watching movies and you end up yakking on the phone with the old g/friend....not such a good idea... I once was on a date with a guy when he answered his phone and spent a good 10-15 min. talking, quite happily, to the last girl he had dated, and they hadn't dated very long to begin with. I felt like I had completely disappeared. If we hadn't been in his car and on the road I proabably would have left. Oddly enough we didn't date very long, he was all wrapped up in the other girl, even though all she was doing was stringing his heart along on crazy going nowhere ride.

Guess my opinion would be some conversation with the previous love would be understandable and timing of the conversations would be respectful towards the new.

[mranderson]

I wonder if we should start a support group for guys that were dumped and the dumper was too rude to tell us, or give us a reason.What do my fellow dumpee's think?

[Leon]

I think I could contribute.