Women and Love

[Curt]

Tom cruise is just one of them, I am not jealous in anyway, but I cant stand guys that think they are sssooo special that they can have any woman they want at the snap of their fingers, problem is so many women fall for them they get away with it.

[kschopfer]

There are alot of Tom Cruises in the world. Just got to spot em. There are also
alot of Angelina Jolies. Don't contribute to the movies they are in, its a rackett.

[Leon]

Love hurts. Love is vicious. It has hurt me tremendously. I have never had feelings so deep as for the one I do now. I have never hurt so deeply. My soul hurts.

May I build a wall around my heart and never allow another woman to enter. May I learn to have sex without any emotion. May I turn and walk away with haste at the first sign of elevated feelings. May I end any relationship immediately that day if I wake in the morning with a woman on my mind...."Let's just be friends." May I protect myself. May I never again allow myself to be vulnerable. May a woman never touch my heart again.

As of tonight, to love, my heart is the coldest cold and the blackest black and harder than steel.

Mariner, you mentioned Tom Cruise and his ability to turn away one woman knowing confidently that he'll have another the next day....Brother, nearly every woman on the globe can do that very same thing with men. Cheer him on....he's doing what the average woman does to the average Joe millions of times a day. My friend, think about it....he's behaving just like a woman. They may not get their pick of movie stars but it's entirely up to them whether they go home alone or not, it's up to them whether they'll be phoned the next day. If a woman looks half-way decent, she wont go to Wal-Mart without meeting someone. I'll bet ya, A good looking woman in OKC turns down more men on an average day than Tom Cruise does women.

[Leon]

Mariner, Can I ask if maybe you came from a broken home or lived with a single mother.....I did. I have a son now, I intend to teach him about women. God knows I wont run out of examples to point to.

[Leon]

Fellas, keep this in mind.....women will drop you without warning, without explanation, and without mercy..........when they see fit.

Step into a relationship with extreme prejudice and extreme caution....and most importantly, a few steps behind the woman. Never, ever allow yourself to be in a position that you can be hurt more than them....or even as much as them.

[Ms.Relaxationstation]

I believe Def Leppard said it best, "LOVE BITES."

Man I have sooo been in the same boat on this one. But lets face the truth. We all have that one need in our life- TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED. Sure it hurts, but why would we purposely say we will never do it again? The chance of missing out on a love of a lifetime is something I would not want to miss. Think of it this way, when the bad situations happen and we get dumped and our heart torn to shreds, its a good weightloss oppurtunity. Never, never, never say "never" to loving again. Life is too short and "it's is better to loved and lost then to never have loved at all."

[Curt]

Leon, instead of answering just one thing at a time, pretty much everything you said up there I agree with. I still think Tom Cruise is an ass though. As far as me growing up in a broken home, yes I did, but what happend, my mom cheated on my dad, got pregnant, had a miscarriage, then while out one night with one of her friends at a bar, a fight broke out and she was shot and killed, along with a sheriff deputy, who was off duty. That was in '73, long time ago, I was 11 at the time. Anyway, I love women alot, but am scared to death of them now.

[Leon]

Mariner, I hope I didn't resurrect any old hurt for you.

[osupa05]

Alrighty Mr. Leon... it sounds like you've had it rough. I mean, I've been in love and had my heart broken, but along the way things got better, and now, he's one of my best friends. I hope that when "the one" comes along you will let her in and let her love you... and love her in return. I guess it's hard being that vulnerable with somebody... learning to trust that much. I wish I could do open heart surgery on ya.. go in there and mend the broken parts... Just remember... time heals all and love stands the test of time!

O.K. enough mushy... I'm gonna go get some grub!

[kschopfer]

I have to agree w/ Osupa, Leon needs open heart surgery. I've been hurt too. But being bitter for awhile gets you no where. I haven't pitched in my two sense worth cause. I can be harsh at times. Don't want to preach or pick on anyone But I know how he feels. My heart has been broken (I thought), beyond repair. Time does heal, and we do move on. Another replacement is not the answer either. I've notice men have a tendancy towards that or should I be safe to say people do.
Bad idea. You can always love that person, we go on. Maybe we'll will never forget. But we canot carry it around w/ us. God puts it in our heart to love again. This I truely know. Leon prayer, hope and determination will heal it. Humans a faulable. So, Man is not to be trusted. when I say man I mean humans. Take care of your heart, you might want to use it again. huh?

[Curt]

Mariner, I hope I didn't resurrect any old hurt for you.

Not at all Leon, but thanks for your concern. That was along time ago.

[Leon]

Osupa, Kschop....I hope it happens again too, actually. It's taking me a bit longer to pick myself up this time. I had envisioned her ederly face next to my death bed. I had prayed that I'd die before her because I knew life wouldn't be worth living without her, yet here I am. This is the most intense hurt I have ever known and it has barely subsided during the last two weeks or so. I guess the hurt will leave in the coming weeks. I'll need help later fhljgh to not compare the next one to her. I'll need help to not compare before opening up. In my lifetime though, she has been the ONLY one I gave my deepest thoughts to who has not later used them against me or humiliated me with them. To her credit, she still has not. A good thing, it was not a bitter ending. She was the best qualities of my best friend, my lover, my sister, my mother....all rolled into one. I do not hate her, I still love her, I will not stand in her way, I will support her in whatever she decides is best for her, even in separating. Her well-being comes first. Like I said, I do not hate her....I'm angry at myself for ever loving that much, hence last night's email.

[Jay]

You can't let rejection rule your life. You have to live life as if you may or may not get see tomorrow. I'm not saying fear tomorrow, I'm saying get out there and enjoy your life.

If a store told you they didn't carry an item in your size would you leave depressed? Would you act like it was the end the world? No, of course you would not. You would look at other stores until you found that item you wanted. Love is the same way if you do not seek it. It will not find you.

Honestly, do you want to spend forever alone. No, no one does. I think what you need to do when you feel like you want to give up is this. Get out there, take on some new interests. Try some things that will make you a more interesting person. There is so much to do in this world.

Stop throwing yourself a pity party and live your life. Pity parties eventually lead to a table for one.

[Karried]

Breakups can be as severe as losing someone to death. They can be crippling and emotionally draining. If people need to cry and grieve and talk about it, then I think we should be supportive and try to offer some advice and shared experiences to help them move on. ( I agree with everything else you mentioned, just not the pity party part ).

I think everyone needs to have some time to heal.... it is obvious that these are some fresh wounds and need some time to heal. If you don't grieve over a loss, it can come back to haunt you and affect future relationships.

These people who just went through heartbreak will be fine in just a short while, but in the meantime, I hope we can support them now and help them know that we all have gone through it and came out alive and kicking and better for the experience.

[Leon]

Thanks, Kerrie. You're both right on.
Realistically, in the coming months, the right face will smile at me and I'll try again. See, I'm fine right now...just got off work but later this evening, when I reach the time I'm accustomed to giving to her, I'll hurt and resent.

I guess that's where the rebound, get-back-in-the-game stuff comes into play. That face will come and I'll give that time to that person.

[Leon]

I just sent her an ultimatem......kill it or nurture it.....by Tuesday evening......I'll die if she leaves it dangling.

[Curt]

I just sent her an ultimatem......kill it or nurture it.....by Tuesday evening......I'll die if she leaves it dangling.

That was the right thing to do Leon, you need an answer now. I know your stomach is in knots right now.

[soypreciosa]

Sounds to me like it's not what you guys are doing but more like the type of women they were. Doesn't sound to me like these women have a lot of self worth; they need people or things to help boost them up. It's as though they are hooked on drugs, the more you gave them, (emotionally), the more they needed. It's like a high.... the feeling of being needed, loved, and admired. With people like that (and not just with women), you can't win. They always need more and then it gets to a point that getting a "fix" from their partner isn't enough, so they seek it elsewhere. I feel that any relationship you have, good or bad you learn something so take what you learned to the next relationship. As far as not believing you can have another great relationship, that's just crazy. You cannot allow someone else’s insecurities to rob you of loving again, we all want to love and be loved and that only happens with an open heart. These women have already robbed you guys of one love DO NOT allow them to succeed in robbing you of future love. I know I don't know anyone here and I do tend to ramble on and on but I do know about being hurt and I refuse to allow anyone to take my future away from me, and my future has love all in it.

[Curt]

Soypreciosa, good words of advise and encouragement, thank you.

[Faith]

Soypreciosa - Great Advice! I understand exactly what you are saying about the " high" they may get and somewhat get addicted to that feeling. That they continue to want more and more even if what they had was great to begin with. Seems to me as if these type of people ( men or women) are to selfish to be in a serious relationship in the first place.

[mranderson]

Sounds to me like it's not what you guys are doing but more like the type of women they were. Doesn't sound to me like these women have a lot of self worth; they need people or things to help boost them up. It's as though they are hooked on drugs, the more you gave them, (emotionally), the more they needed. It's like a high.... the feeling of being needed, loved, and admired. With people like that (and not just with women), you can't win. They always need more and then it gets to a point that getting a "fix" from their partner isn't enough, so they seek it elsewhere. I feel that any relationship you have, good or bad you learn something so take what you learned to the next relationship. As far as not believing you can have another great relationship, that's just crazy. You cannot allow someone else’s insecurities to rob you of loving again, we all want to love and be loved and that only happens with an open heart. These women have already robbed you guys of one love DO NOT allow them to succeed in robbing you of future love. I know I don't know anyone here and I do tend to ramble on and on but I do know about being hurt and I refuse to allow anyone to take my future away from me, and my future has love all in it.

Just exactly how are we to stop attracting these women if we aren't told what's up? A person can not correct someting unless they are told they are doing it.

[Faith]

Hopefully, after several relationships you might be able to see the warning signs??? Maybe not right at first but I believe a persons true colors will eventually shine through.

[mranderson]

Hopefully, after several relationships you might be able to see the warning signs??? Maybe not right at first but I believe a persons true colors will eventually shine through.

We are narrowing this down. What if you haven't been made aware of those signs? What are they? Personally, I do not know how to read most signals.

[Faith]

Well if a man or woman tends to be overly materialistic, to me that might be a warning sign of selfishness. Not always, but sometimes when a person is very self-absorbed they can't take a step back and be there for you like they should be. It is all about them. And if for some reason you want the relationship to be about you as well. This is just too much for them so instead of working through the problem they run away and think it might be best just to start over... or look for their next victim.

[Curt]

Seems to me as if these type of people ( men or women) are to selfish to be in a serious relationship in the first place.

Exactly