How to meet people in OKC?

[bradh]

Your family won't visit you if you live near downtown?

[bchris02]

Your family won't visit you if you live near downtown?

Yes. They are country people and are still living in the '80s and have the perception of downtown areas of large cities as nothing but homeless people and drug addicts. When I lived in Charlotte I wanted to take them to a restaurant downtown but they refused to go. That is another topic though.

[KenRagsdale]

The experience bchris had with his family re: avoiding the inner city is common. In the past, my wife and I have attended parties/social functions in Edmond. When we shared the fact we lived in the inner city, there was a common look of horrifying shock. Based upon the subsequent discussion, it's my belief many suburbanites believe spouse and I are engaged in running gun battles with gangs, drug dealers and other assorted "bad guys" each time we leave the house.

[Bunty]

The experience bchris had with his family re: avoiding the inner city is common. In the past, my wife and I have attended parties/social functions in Edmond. When we shared the fact we lived in the inner city, there was a common look of horrifying shock. Based upon the subsequent discussion, it's my belief many suburbanites believe spouse and I are engaged in running gun battles with gangs, drug dealers and other assorted "bad guys" each time we leave the house.

But aren't at least homeless people begging for money a big nuisance, though? I hear they're getting more aggressive and don't like taking no for an answer.

[kevinpate]

But aren't at least homeless people begging for money a big nuisance, though? I hear they're getting more aggressive and don't like taking no for an answer.

I am not in the city a lot, but when I am I haven't noticed an uptick in panhandlers being insistent. I am seeing more instances in Norman overall than I did in the past, primarily at the convenience store/bus station and the newer, larger pump number gas stations, e.g., newer 7/11s, OnCue. Not aggressive, but also not shy of going pump to pump to pump.

It's been a long time since anyone gave me any attitude for a respectful no.

[CuatrodeMayo]

But aren't at least homeless people begging for money a big nuisance, though? I hear they're getting more aggressive and don't like taking no for an answer.

Give a firm "no" and keep walking. They will move on and find a more receptive target. I live, work, and recreate in the inner city and I 've never had a problem.

[Just the facts]

Bchris02 - You need to live where there is an active public realm and you won't find it in suburbia because it is by default 'private'. Sadly, OKC still doesn't have many options for people to spend unstructured leisure time in the company of strangers; no plazas, urban parks, sidewalk cafes, etc...

[stlokc]

OK - Here's my BIG caveat: I've never lived in OKC as an adult.

But I did move to St. Louis, MO a dozen years ago and didn't know a soul beyond a few college acquaintances. I just can't believe that two biggish midwestern cities would be that far apart in their realities. So, here's what I did, take it or leave it:

I joined the local alumni chapter of my college, Mizzou. I don't know where you went to school, but in a city the size of OKC I guarantee you there is an alumni chapter. If there's not, your college will be thrilled to help you start one. I don't care if you went to Vermont Polytechnic, there are at least a dozen other alums in OKC. Maybe hundreds or thousands in the case of a Big 12, Big 10, or SEC school. These alumni organizations live for social events, watch parties, or if you're not into sports, lots of them do service projects. I've made countless friends through MAA.

Alzheimer's is a disease that is prevalent in my family, I called the local chapter and lo and behold, they had a "Young Friends of the Association" group that was struggling for members and publicity. They had monthly meetings, I started going to the meetings, we put on fundraisers, do publicity for the Association. Maybe you have a particular interest in cancer or heart disease, I don't know. If it's not a disease, there is some kind of charity that trips your trigger. It's universal, every single arts or health related non-profit is literally crying out for involvement by young people. Most of the arts organizations in STL have "Young Friends" groups, I just have to think it's the same in OKC. If not, start one and you'll be the hero.

I also got involved in local politics. If you have a favorite candidate or cause, they would welcome you with open arms. That's not everybody's schtick, but it worked for me when it comes to meeting people.

Also, I got involved in my industry (advertising). Again, I just have to think that there are young professional organizations related to whatever it is you do for a living.

Contrary to popular belief, you are probably not going to meet a wide group of soul mates at a bar. Church? Well, maybe, I'll leave that up to you. But I guess my point is, when you're an adult, friends don't just materialize the way they do when you're a kid. You have to decide to go out and make it happen. I think figuring out 1 or 2 or 3 of your interests and focusing your energies in that direction is the way to go. Worked for me. Again, St. Louis is bigger than OKC, but OKC isn't exactly Ponca City. Some variation of this is going to work for you, if you want it to.

The other thing about this approach is that it isn't completely geographically oriented. Although, I do think living in an area with young people, whether downtown or not will help you. I think as a young (ish) single person, I wouldn't live north of about 63rd street. But, personal preference. Good luck!

[bradh]

I think myself and someone else mentioned the industry organization earlier in the thread, that's a good place to start.

[bradh]

I'd call your parents bluff, it's an empty threat I bet.

[betts]

Frontline Church appears to have a bunch of young members.

[bradh]

What industry do you work in? There's got to be a professional organization you can join to meet some people.

[betts]

If your parents won't visit you downtown, you can just visit them. If they won't come downtown it doesn't mean you can't see them. I have the reverse problem. My kids don't particularly like to come back to OKC to visit, so I go visit them. See if you can sublet your apartment.

If you don't particularly like sports, see if there's a kickball league in town. Those are usually co-Ed and mostly social. Take an evening class at one of the colleges or vo-tech schools in something interesting and unrelated to your career. I met my husband at one of those and made a close friend by taking another. Join everything you can find to join and go. Volunteer for everything you can find. I think ULI has a young professionals group - join that.

[adaniel]

That is really unfortunate that your parents are like that. My own parents were quite concerned when I told them I was moving to midtown. But they trusted my judgement that I would not put my own personal safety in jeopardy. Maybe you should discuss this fact with them. After a few visits my parents actually love my area.

I am with soonerguru on this. Your life, your decisions. If they want you to live outside of where you want to live then they can pay your rent. If they are too petrified to visit you, then they can stay at a hotel off Memorial and you can meet them wherever. Just like you said, you are not getting any younger and time's a tickin. It would be a tragedy for you to limit yourself because your parents have an outdated hangup. Just my 0.02.

Also, stlokc posted a very good response and I hope you read it. Moving to downtown or nearby means that you have much better access to certain things that younger people frequent, but it will be up to you to do the heavy lifting of actually getting yourself involved.

[bradh]

No, they just make up some BS story about beating cancer and being on the streets. It's actually pretty bad walking back to your cars or place of residence in midtown. They kinda stalk you.

[betts]

The difference in point of view is interesting. My son was living in Norman and I talked him into moving to Midtown. It was pretty fun/ny bumping into him as we were both walking between Auto Alley and Midtown. It's kind of like a small town. I haven't encountered panhandlers anywhere but if they're becoming a problem in Midtown let Meg Salyer know.

[kevinpate]

bchris, my lovely has a friend who alternates being in worship groups at Lifechurch NW and Lifechurch south. The NW LC is at 5821 NW Expressway which by the street number would put it a bit east of the NW Expressway and N MacArthur Blvd. intersection. Her understanding is LC appeals to a lot of younger singles. Never been there, so I can't confirm or deny.

As for your folks, I get it. Mine didn't like to come to Norman. We often met them in OKC when they came to OKC, and sometimes I wouldn't even know they were coming until they were in OKC. They'd come in for some mtg. or another, decide to not drive back to se ok, and tell us to come on up and have dinner and visit and get in some grandbaby time. I sometimes thought they had convinced themselves our Norman roads were chock full of bratty sloshed college drivers. The reality though is if we went to OKC, Pops could call it a night when he was tired and wouldn't need to drive afterwards. He wasn't really a mondo night driver anyway, so it was all good. When we could stay, he was prone to add a room to his tab, and Mama could grandbaby her heart out as late as she wanted.

Back to meeting people. You have to get out. If doing so isn't as natural as breathing, that's a tall order for you. Sports, Arts, Music, anything that puts you with others, preferably interacting and not alone in a room of 40 strangers. Been there, done that, though long, long ago now.

[betts]

I must have ESPN!

Oklahoma Gazette SPORTS: Kickball is serious play

[bradh]

bchris02, you've got a lot of good suggestions here, but please don't take this the wrong way...meeting new people and making new friends is like work. they don't just come to your front door.

Another thing I don't think I saw suggested was getting involved down at the boathouse. Take a rowing class or something, or join a rowing team. It's not so much sports as it is a lifestyle deal. It's all there for the taking.

[Pete]

bchris02, you've got a lot of good suggestions here, but please don't take this the wrong way...meeting new people and making new friends is like work. they don't just come to your front door.

Yes bchris, why weren't you at the OKCTalk gathering last Thursday??

We had a really good crowd -- at least 50 and it definitely skewed younger this time, which seems to be an emerging trend. And, there were quite a few more women.

Completely free food from Iguana, free margaritas, beer, wine, and soft drinks and one of the most beautiful and unique -- and otherwise not readily accessible -- settings in all of OKC. Plus, a large group of like-minded people who for the most part didn't know a lot of people there, either. And many of them would no doubt describe themselves as somewhat introverted.

Good grief, even a certain 19 year-old met us out at Neighborhood Lounge later that night.

In other words, what better opportunity could you possibly hope for??


Sorry, but OKC in general is a pretty darn easy place to meet people. Heck, one of the posters I had never met before Thursday came along with me for most of the day on Saturday in Norman, and we had a fantastic time.


Hate to call you out but lots of people have gone out of their way to help and I'm not seeing much if any effort on your part. That's certainly your prerogative, but you can't exactly blame the community.

[AP]

Yes bchris, why weren't you at the OKCTalk gathering last Thursday??

We had a really good crowd -- at least 50 and it definitely skewed younger this time, which seems to be an emerging trend. And, there were quite a few more women.

Completely free food from Iguana, free margaritas, beer, wine, and soft drinks and one of the most beautiful and unique -- and otherwise not readily accessible -- settings in all of OKC. Plus, a large group of like-minded people who for the most part didn't know a lot of people there, either. And many of them would no doubt describe themselves as somewhat introverted.

Good grief, even a certain 19 year-old met us out at Neighborhood Lounge later that night.

In other words, what better opportunity could you possibly hope for??


Sorry, but OKC in general is a pretty darn easy place to meet people. Heck, one of the posters I had never met before Thursday came along with me for most of the day on Saturday in Norman, and we had a fantastic time.


Hate to call you out but lots of people have gone out of their way to help and I'm not seeing much if any effort on your part. That's certainly your prerogative, but you can't exactly blame the community.

Exactly what I wanted to say.

[adaniel]

Sorry, but OKC in general is a pretty darn easy place to meet people. Heck, one of the posters I had never met before Thursday came along with me for most of the day on Saturday in Norman, and we had a fantastic time.


Hate to call you out but lots of people have gone out of their way to help and I'm not seeing much if any effort on your part. That's certainly your prerogative, but you can't exactly blame the community.

I'm no Dr Phil or anything, but I detect a hint of social anxiety from him, so I have tried not to pile on in my posts. People like that are going to struggle anywhere. But yes I largely agree with this.

[bchris02]

Pete, I am sorry I didn't make it to the OKCTalk meetup. I actually did want to go and had planned on it (even marked on my calendar) but I had to work late that day and it slipped my mind. When I got on this forum later that night and remembered it had taken place I was figuratively smacking myself. I'll do my best to make the next one whenever it is.

I'm no Dr Phil or anything, but I detect a hint of social anxiety from him, so I have tried not to pile on in my posts. People like that are going to struggle anywhere. But yes I largely agree with this.

You guessed well, I actually do have social anxiety (or maybe extreme shyness). It disappears once I know people though but when meeting new people it can be difficult. When I lived in Charlotte I had a roommate my first year there and developed my social life through him and his friends, so that made it much easier.

Agree. Chris, just come on down to Skinny's tonight. I'll start introducing you to everyone that walks in the door.

Cool man, I'll see if I can make it Thursday or Friday evening.

[Plutonic Panda]

Yes bchris, why weren't you at the OKCTalk gathering last Thursday??

We had a really good crowd -- at least 50 and it definitely skewed younger this time, which seems to be an emerging trend. And, there were quite a few more women.

Completely free food from Iguana, free margaritas, beer, wine, and soft drinks and one of the most beautiful and unique -- and otherwise not readily accessible -- settings in all of OKC. Plus, a large group of like-minded people who for the most part didn't know a lot of people there, either. And many of them would no doubt describe themselves as somewhat introverted.

Good grief, even a certain 19 year-old met us out at Neighborhood Lounge later that night.

In other words, what better opportunity could you possibly hope for??


Sorry, but OKC in general is a pretty darn easy place to meet people. Heck, one of the posters I had never met before Thursday came along with me for most of the day on Saturday in Norman, and we had a fantastic time.


Hate to call you out but lots of people have gone out of their way to help and I'm not seeing much if any effort on your part. That's certainly your prerogative, but you can't exactly blame the community.

Haha, yeah that's me!!! lol

Bchris, would've been really nice to meet you though!

[Pete]

Chris, didn't mean to be so harsh it's just that we don't have these things very often and it was a unique opportunity because you had missed the one in August, everyone agreed that was a perfect type of thing for you to get more connected, then just by good fortune we had another one last week, and you missed that one too.

I really do wish you the best. And I would highly recommend going down to Skinny's and meeting up with Sid as he's an incredibly nice guy and that place couldn't be more laid-back and friendly.