How to meet people in OKC?

[betts]

Personally, if I wanted new, I'd build a house in SoSA. Close to all the action, great restaurants, etc. If I wanted older and charming, Edgemere or Crown Heights are very nice. For rentals, tons of young people in Deep Deuce and Midtown.

[andrew3077]

I would NOT live in Crown Heights. Seriously, the OP lives in Gallardia-- nice, shiny new, beautiful custom homes with all of the modern amenities, new kitchens, new baths, golf course, etc.. Crown Heights is a huge downgrade in comparison.

I'm not sure how old bchris is, but my roommate and I are 23 and we're renting a duplex in Crown Heights and absolutely love living steps from Western. Golf course, schools, large master bedrooms, etc are huge amenities in Gaillardia. But if I don't have kids, a family, and I don't need all that room, it's pretty fun living across the street from the sip and the Drum Room. If anything, we would prefer to go with less space and get a midtown/DD apartment but the rents are just too high right now. My parents built a brand new house in the westmoore area, and I definitely see the value in new construction/suburbs if you're into that, especially for raising a family, etc. But that's not where I'd want to be if I was young. I don't need the space, and all the fun's happening in the inner city!

Back to the original question, have you done Red Coyote's Pack Pint Runs? Free 5K's every thursday and free beer afterwards! Also I'm about to head to h&8th with some friends, tons of people to meet!

[boscorama]

I would NOT live in Crown Heights. Seriously, the OP lives in Gallardia-- nice, shiny new, beautiful custom homes with all of the modern amenities, new kitchens, new baths, golf course, etc.. Crown Heights is a huge downgrade in comparison. Some Crown Heights homes are nice, yes, but the nice ones are often overpriced for their square footage and age. Plus, many need big $$ in renovations, older homes have much more maintenance and repairs to do, it's not as quiet in CH and there's more traffic, CH homes are usually smaller than what you can get for the same money in the suburbs, etc. CH homes also are more likely to have detached garages. Detached garages are not fun... defeats the point of having a garage in the first place so you don't have to walk through rain/snow to your car. Historic homes tend to have fewer bathrooms, smaller closets, etc. Plus, they tend to have master bedrooms upstairs with no private master bathroom-- who wants that? And who wants to share a small bathroom with their kids? Most people around here want the master bedroom downstairs plus a few kid's/guest bedrooms upstairs, as well as a huge master bathroom with modern features like double vanity sinks, rainfall showers, jacuzzi tubs, etc.

Long term, if the OP ever has kids, no way would he want them to attend the public schools near CH. He would have to spring for private schools, or move out of Crown Heights.

Old homes just aren't everyone's taste. Some people see the charm in 50 or 100 year old kitchens and bathrooms and floors, houses close together, etc. I like 'em younger and new. New houses you can build exactly what you want and not have to deal with repairs all of the time like with old houses. And, yes, I've lived in old houses before. Nightmare.

New suburban homes aren't everyone's taste either, granted, but the suburbs offer shiny, new, quiet, clean, and nice amenities. Large master bedrooms, large master bathrooms, custom kitchens, and all of the things people like now with less maintenance.

Renovating in Crown Heights could lead to places like Lowes, Habitat for Humanity, where people with similar interests or situations gather. Garage apartment? Find a tenant you like, who has decent friends.

[Pete]

Personally, if I wanted new, I'd build a house in SoSA. Close to all the action, great restaurants, etc. If I wanted older and charming, Edgemere or Crown Heights are very nice. For rentals, tons of young people in Deep Deuce and Midtown.

Yep. This might be my semi-retirement plan.

[CuatrodeMayo]

LOL @ oki.

Hilarious.

[adaniel]

The OP lives in an apartment by Gaillardia, not the actual neighborhood. Those are some alright apartments but I doubt they have the baller status interiors that oki outlines.

I don't want to bash suburbs, but I have been in the OP's shoes. Living in the suburbs as a young, single person and especially as a transplant is an incredibly isolating experience. My year living off of NW Expressway was the most mind numbing things I've ever gone through, despite having a very nice apartment. Living in midtown I can honestly say I am never bored. Who cares if you have nice appliances and lots of space for your nonexistent kids if you are miserable and lonely. I mean Kevin freakin Durant and all his millions moved out of Gallardia into Deep Deuce... that alone should tell you something.

I said it before earlier, OKC does not have pockets of nightlife in the suburbs for younger and/or single people like larger cities do (i.e. Addison in Dallas), unless dancing with the cougars at Groovys or or fist pumping at Fox and Hound is your thing. And its okay if it is, its just that there is so much more deeper in the city. You pay for better access to both work and fun living in the city. To a lot of people, that's worth it.

[oki]

The OP lives in an apartment by Gaillardia, not the actual neighborhood. Those are some alright apartments but I doubt they have the baller status interiors that oki outlines.

I don't think anybody likes NW Expressway, or apartments in general.

The OP has an apartment? That sucks. I thought he was a balla' in Gaillardia.

If he's just renting some apartment somewhere, then he should have easy access to young people right now-- young single people often live in apartments. Apartment complexes have gyms, pools, movie theaters, and other crap to socialize in. Young people are often poor(er) or don't want long-term commitments (home ownership) and congregate to apartments. Try grabbing a beer and knocking on a neighbors door in your apartment.

If the OP owned a Gaillardia swanky bachelor pad, he could have some nice parties out there in a house and all of the amenities. What apartment complexes are even out by Gaillardia? Sucks he can't play golf out there or enjoy those amenities.

Since he doesn't own a house and apartments suck in general, there's no long-term real estate property value to worry about, maintenance costs associated with old historic homes, school districts, or all of those headaches. In that case, he could bounce around and try out different apartments without dropping a few hundred thousand or more and hoping some neighborhood stays "hip and chic" for urban young adults later on. In that case, he could try the apartments by Hefner, Quail, or something to get easier access to "hip" places while maintaining the nice comforts of the suburbs. If you don't own where you live, you can move whenever you want relatively easily... and move again if you don't like it with minimal financial consequences. That changes everything for him.

If the OP just moved here from some other city, I could see how that could be isolating regardless of his neighborhood. Especially since a lot of people here grew up here. OP, have you tried going to lunch with co-workers or getting to know people over drinks after work? How about Habitat for Humanity or some charity? OKC Young Professionals?

I've lived in huge mega cities and small cities before I moved here. I'm suburban. I'm young. I've lived in urban high-rise apartments and suburban houses. I still would prefer nicer interiors to old run down outdated "historic" homes that are a few feet from each other. I get how this city sometimes isn't the easiest to meet single, childless people. Meetups, Young Professionals, work, church, charity groups, or sports groups are just about the best way. Or post a Craigslist platonic ad about something you're into (basketweaving, beer, whatever) and seek out a friend that way.

I guess I've become an Okie enjoying my nice new affordable homes with tons of closet space, yards, garages, nice clean huge Target stores, shopping malls, easy free parking, relatively less traffic, and huge rooms. Those things (ok, and the relative slow pace and friendliness) are the entire reason I find OKC attractive and appealing. If I wanted to live in an overpriced tiny urban loft and have to walk everywhere, fight traffic all of the time and spend hours to find parking, deal with break-ins and crime, have noise from bars and nightclubs nearby, have no yard or green space to enjoy, and hear my condo/apartment neighbors and deal with all of that crap, I'd move back to NYC. Or Tokyo. Or somewhere to get the "real" urban living benefits if I had to deal with all those headaches of overpriced, noisy, trafficy, tiny, hassle-riddled urban living in tiny apartments or aged outdated overpriced townhouses.

Yes, I have to "drive" to bars or nightclubs away from my suburbs. That's how I roll, anyway. I wouldn't want bars, nightclubs, etc. near my house-- noise, drunks, non-sense. I prefer work, shops, restaurants, and normal nice daily life stuff to be convenient to me. I don't want to have to fight traffic or see bars or deal with urban lifestyle issues daily. I can have my fun on the weekends if I want to branch out, and enjoy my nice quiet modern kitchen with appliances and tons of closet space too.

If you want to really party it up downtown and drink all night, yes, you're stuck taking a cab from the suburbs-- unless you have someone driving you there. That would be a perk about living near a bar downtown-- you could drink then walk home. Nice.

Sometimes it would be nice to live next door or in the high-rise above a restaurant, movie store, grocery store, etc. again. But, really, all of those things are less than a 5 minute drive from me anyway. I prefer my nice single family home where I don't have to listen to all that noise, deal with the crowds, traffic, and other crap that high-rise living or crowded "hip" neighborhoods mean.

I can see how the suburbs can feel all "mommy and me" and be awkward as a single bachelor. But there are more single people in the suburbs than one might think... you just have to find them. Oklahoma overall marries very young and has kids young compared to the rest of the country. That's noticeable whether you live downtown or in the suburbs. There are still some of us holding out though.

The average age for women to get married in Oklahoma is 24. For men it's 26. Yes, that's an Oklahoma (and similar states) thing.
Compare that to age 30 and age 34, respectively, in New York. Yes, I notice it feeling like "everyone" in Oklahoma is married.

You can be just as isolated in an urban loft apartment in a downtown Manhatten high-rise as you can be in a suburban house if you don't get out there and keep trying to meet people the right way. Seriously, I've lived in both. The urban neighborhood itself doesn't magically bring you friends-- you have to go outside and do crap. Preferably fun crap. I'll grant that about the suburbs tending to have either old people or people with kids. But, there's still some young people in most neighborhoods... even in actual Gaillardia. When you come across people who don't fit your niche (married with kids), try again with others. In neighborhoods, your best bet is either to knock on neighbors doors and invite them to a BBQ or go introduce yourself. Yes, plenty of them will have kids. Maybe that's not the worst thing ever. If you're in an apartment complex, even better. Apartment neighbors are more likely to be younger and childless than people who own homes here. Have a BBQ on your balcony or invite them over for drinks. The first party will be awkward with few people showing up. You might even be sitting there alone the first few times. Special interest groups, charities, and the like are really the way to go to meet people. Meeting people in a bar doesn't generally make for long-lasting, meaningful relationships anyway. Three words: special interest groups. Or, bring your neighbor a beer. (Make sure your neighbor isn't a 100 year old woman first. Unless she's into beer...)

If the OP has an apartment, there must be plenty of other young people there. Seriously, knock on a door some evening and bring your neighbor a beer. Or houseplant. Or linger in the hallway and say hi to passerbys. If the apartments out there aren't ghetto, you could even live your door open during the 5 p.m. "rush hour" when everyone is heading home and act like you're doing something by he door (cleaning out an entry closet?) and say hi to neighbors as they walk by.

[oki]

No wonder it feels like "everyone" here is married:

Average marriage ages:

Oklahoma:
24-26

New York:
30-34

Oregon:
26-28

Rhode Island:
28

[PWitty]

No wonder it feels like "everyone" here is married:

Average marriage ages:

Oklahoma:
24-26

New York:
30-34

Oregon:
26-28

Rhode Island:
28

Where did you get those numbers? I googled it out of curiousity and the ones I found were lower for New York. But essentially OK was about 1-3 years younger than the rest of the country not counting DC. Yeah OK was one of the 5 youngest, but all the states are pretty grouped up. I think it's just something that people think about and bring up when they talk about OK and now everyone accepts it as fact. I mean heck TX was only about a year older on average and nobody ever talks about everyone in Dallas and Houston being married. The way I see it, all the girls in OK are just so attractive that all the guys feel like they have to snatch them up before they lose their chance Just my 2 cents though.

Live Science

[JayhawkTransplant]

Back to the original question, have you done Red Coyote's Pack Pint Runs? Free 5K's every thursday and free beer afterwards!

Can you tell me more about this? I looked on Red Coyote's website and saw a graphic for this, but no details about when/where. Does everyone just meet at the store at a certain time and take off from there? Is there a good mix of running abilities? I run 3-5 miles every day but have never been very serious about my time...I go as fast as my dog feels like going that day.

[bluedogok]

No wonder it feels like "everyone" here is married:

Average marriage ages:

Oklahoma:
24-26

New York:
30-34

Oregon:
26-28

Rhode Island:
28

I guess I skewed that because my only marriage was when I was 39, met plenty of women in their mid-30's who weren't married as well and not all of them were divorced with kids. They are out there but may not be as easy to find, at least one that is worthwhile. My wife was 38 and never married (albeit living in Austin) when we married.

[OKCretro]

Lived in okc all my life, would never suggest anyone move to "south Guthrie" or oki calls "Edmond". Place is a ghost town are 8 pm.

[OKCretro]

Oki, if you think ch homes are overpriced you should do a little research and see how much your developer bought your entire neighborhood 10 years ago when there was nothing but a field and then you should see which sq ft is absurd.
Would rather have a house that has character than a house that looks like the exact same all of my neighbors have. McMansions are overrated and overpriced....

[boscorama]

Lived in okc all my life, would never suggest anyone move to "south Guthrie" or oki calls "Edmond". Place is a ghost town are 8 pm.

AKA North Edmond.

[Pete]

BTW, we have another OKCTalk event planned for October 3rd.

Most of those attending are pretty reserved but also friendly. It seems everyone interacts very well, especially since we have this board and it's topics in common.

Great place to meet people with similar interests:

http://www.okctalk.com/announcements...y-oct-3rd.html

[bchris02]

First of all I want to say thanks for all the responses in this thread. I had an elaborate response typed up at the end of last week but then got a blue screen on my computer before I submitted it and lost it :/ lol.

I was of course out of town this weekend so I didn't get a chance to make H&8th (though I really wanted to), but think I may face my fear and give the meetup option a try. Also, thanks, Pete, for posting about the new OKCTalk event. I may try to make that as well. I am really looking for friends at this point and not so much a romantic relationship. To the person who suggested the craigslist platonic section, have you ever seen it? There isn't much "platonic" about it.

Regarding downtown vs suburbs, I think living downtown would be cool but it isn't an option for me for at least another year. I know where I live isn't optimal for my age and marital status, especially here. I am hoping though I can make it work until I am able to move. When I lived in Charlotte I lived in the suburbs and made it just fine, and it wasn't in a young hotspot either. There, it seemed like there were more single twentysomethings living in the burbs than here, but it was also far more common for people in their twenties to be unemployed or underemployed and living with their parents out there than it is here (great points for OKC in that area). Here, most educated twentysomethings have good jobs and can afford to live downtown.

As far as the early marriages, I think what's the most noticeable is the social pressure to pair up and settle down young here. Out in Charlotte, a lot of people married in their early/mid twenties, but there were plenty who didn't and it didn't seem like as many questions were asked if somebody wasn't ready for marriage by age 25. Maybe that's an Edmond thing though and not as big of an issue in the core as adaniel says.

As far as the Red Coyote thing, I would love to do that, but I have to get in shape first. I am hoping by next spring...

[WilliamTell]

Bchris - you seem like a.nice kid, so I will say this nicely. But you wont meet new people until you stop living.in the past and putting off life until everything is.perfect ( moiving, fitness, etc)....

You could live in Norman next to a sorority house but if you make excuses about why you can't do something then location ( or anythibg else) isnt going to.matter.

[bchris02]

Bchris - you seem like a.nice kid, so I will say this nicely. But you wont meet new people until you stop living.in the past and putting off life until everything is.perfect ( moiving, fitness, etc)....

You could live in Norman next to a sorority house but if you make excuses about why you can't do something then location ( or anythibg else) isnt going to.matter.

That's definitely good advice. Sometimes I am bad about living in the past and putting off decisions. However, moving downtown isn't an option for at least another year. There is simply no way I can make it happen without destroying my financial security.

[betts]

I'm going to re-remind you to join Urban Neighbors and bowl in their winter league. I've subbed a few times and there are definitely a lot of young people in the group. You don't have to be a good bowler, and it's less awkward to meet people when you're doing something than standing around trying to think of things to say at a bar. Membership is definitely available for non-downtown members. They've got socials too, once a month at a different downtown spot. This month it's at Urban Roots in Deep Deuce. The socials don't always pull in the younger crowd, but everyone is very friendly and you just never know where you'll meet a friend.

[DaveSkater]

I know you arent into sports, but what about the gym (and it will also help you with women)?

The problem you are running into is that its hard to pick up other dudes (as friends) in a non creepy way, so your going to need to get into some re-occurring activity where a natural conversations take place and where you see the same people over and over again. At all the gyms I've been in in I've found it hard to not to get to know anybody since the same people work out about the same time each day. You ask someone for a spot or ask for advice and over the span of a month or two you will find some new drinking buddies.

I'm married, but alot of the guys at the gym are single like yourself and probably looking for a new wingman to hit the town with.

Im going to get heck for this - but if you are looking for women, go to the club and hit on a fat chick. DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH HER (or it will kill everything), over the next few weeks casually give her a text or call on the weekends and ask where they are at (since women always travel in packs). Meet up with her and just keep on talking to her as a friend, she is bound to have atleast a few decent friends. Easiest way to meet women is through other women.

Its the same thing as the attractive woman who has a group of guys who follow her around because they want to be her 'friend'. She uses them as tools to meet better men and keeps them as rainy day insurance.

Well hell, fat chicks need love too, and they appreciate it more. No seriously!

I'm a firm believer of the YMCA. Join a class such as body pump, or aerobics. Golf courses are fun too. Do you live on the Gallardia course? Get a golf cart and some clubs and chill at the hole 19 club (they all have one) hit a few range balls, practice on the putting greens, sit at the bar and people will strike up conversation with you from the first minute. I've met a lot of people skating, but that's decidedly not for everyone.......

[bchris02]

I don't want to bash suburbs, but I have been in the OP's shoes. Living in the suburbs as a young, single person and especially as a transplant is an incredibly isolating experience. My year living off of NW Expressway was the most mind numbing things I've ever gone through, despite having a very nice apartment. Living in midtown I can honestly say I am never bored. Who cares if you have nice appliances and lots of space for your nonexistent kids if you are miserable and lonely. I mean Kevin freakin Durant and all his millions moved out of Gallardia into Deep Deuce... that alone should tell you something.

Is there any suburban areas that have more younger, single people than others in this city or do I pretty much have to live downtown? For instance, if I lived in Norman, would I have any better luck? I am not necissarily looking to be right next door to bars and nightlife, just in an area of town where I am more likely to meet other single people like at church for instance? I want to say again I am not looking for a dating relationship at this time, just friends. Far NW OKC is extremely family oriented and I think living out here is part of the problem. Mind-numbing properly describes the experience I've had this past year. I support downtown as much as the next guy, however my family tells me they won't come and visit me if I live downtown and being close to family is one of the primary reasons I live in OKC, so it would be nice if I could find somewhere that is still suburban but more single-friendly than NW OKC.

Can anybody on here who is religious recommend churches that have active singles groups for people in their 20s, besides Crossings? I have seen PeopleChurch recommended, which I haven't tried yet but plan to soon. Any others?

[Pete]

You don't have to move all the way downtown, just closer in.

Why not somewhere around Penn Square? Close to everything on Western and easy to get downtown without living there.

I know lots of younger, single people that live in Putnam Heights, for example.

[bradh]

Your family won't visit you if you live near downtown?

[bchris02]

Your family won't visit you if you live near downtown?

Yes. They are country people and are still living in the '80s and have the perception of downtown areas of large cities as nothing but homeless people and drug addicts. When I lived in Charlotte I wanted to take them to a restaurant downtown but they refused to go. That is another topic though.

[Just the facts]

Bchris02 - You need to live where there is an active public realm and you won't find it in suburbia because it is by default 'private'. Sadly, OKC still doesn't have many options for people to spend unstructured leisure time in the company of strangers; no plazas, urban parks, sidewalk cafes, etc...