How to meet people in OKC?

[Urban Pioneer]

Very good points.

Wish you would have come to our gathering last week.

Lots of cool people were there and no all are super out-going.

I agree. Maybe we should do those more often just for kicks. I'd gladly meet up with you for coffee or something. My GF lives on the north side and I have absolutely no friends up there. lol. And yeah, H&8th is great (just getting seriously crowded).

[WilliamTell]

I know you arent into sports, but what about the gym (and it will also help you with women)?

The problem you are running into is that its hard to pick up other dudes (as friends) in a non creepy way, so your going to need to get into some re-occurring activity where a natural conversations take place and where you see the same people over and over again. At all the gyms I've been in in I've found it hard to not to get to know anybody since the same people work out about the same time each day. You ask someone for a spot or ask for advice and over the span of a month or two you will find some new drinking buddies.

I'm married, but alot of the guys at the gym are single like yourself and probably looking for a new wingman to hit the town with.

Im going to get heck for this - but if you are looking for women, go to the club and hit on a fat chick. DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH HER (or it will kill everything), over the next few weeks casually give her a text or call on the weekends and ask where they are at (since women always travel in packs). Meet up with her and just keep on talking to her as a friend, she is bound to have atleast a few decent friends. Easiest way to meet women is through other women.

Its the same thing as the attractive woman who has a group of guys who follow her around because they want to be her 'friend'. She uses them as tools to meet better men and keeps them as rainy day insurance.

[Teo9969]

Also...a random random random suggestion that probably should not be heeded:

Pick up a second, night-time service-industry job that you do like twice/three a week...make a little bit of extra money for as long as you can stand working there, and then just meet the different people and see if anyone has similar interests. Always a lot of young people, many who are completely useless, but always usually at least a couple of cool, balanced people.

But only do this if nothing anyone else has mentioned is working.


...Also...don't be afraid to start the conversation. The odds you get someone telling you to go away are next to none. Worse thing that usually happens is the conversation goes nowhere, and you just float to the next group of people. Being introverted, I can only usually make it through two to four groups of people before I'm done...but if something sticks, great!

[Teo9969]

When you go to bars, be open to talk to older patrons. They usually tend to be more open in getting multiple people involved in the conversation, and people our age who are also struggling to start conversation are more apt to feel like they can jump in the conversation without "butting-in".

[Urban Pioneer]

A couple of us gym out and yeah, it is a reasonable way to meet people on a recurring basis.

Saints is the other place some us go. That's a real neighborhood Public House. McNellies can be ok although Saints is the s**t some nights without being too crowded.

[bradh]

The gym is a great place. Easiest way to start a conversation at the gym? Comment on someone's shirt. One of our best couple friends we met at the gym because he commented on my wife's shirt from when she worked at Travelocity.

[soonerguru]

The gym is a great place. Easiest way to start a conversation at the gym? Comment on someone's shirt. One of our best couple friends we met at the gym because he commented on my wife's shirt from when she worked at Travelocity.

For some reason, this made me chuckle. I can imagine a scenario wherein a woman is wearing a shirt at the gym with some type of print emblazoned across the chest and saying, "Nice shirt." This kind of game wouldn't work for everyone.

[bradh]

Haha, yeah it could be read that way, I've just used it as a common ground conversation starter. Saw a guy wearing a Lucero shirt, and I love that band and we talked for a bit. Some people have commented when I wear Arizona State gear, either saying they've lived there or or have questions.

[KenRagsdale]

This is excellent advice.
If possible, move to an area south of I-44, east of May Avenue, west of Broadway Extension and north of Downtown. I live in the area, and it's crawling with young, professional people; some married, others not. I would go so far as to say, older, married, birds-out-of-the-nest folks such as myself are the exception, rather than the rule.

[Teo9969]

This is excellent advice.
If possible, move to an area south of I-44, east of May Avenue, west of Broadway Extension and north of Downtown. I live in the area, and it's crawling with young, professional people; some married, others not. I would go so far as to say, older, married, birds-out-of-the-nest folks such as myself are the exception, rather than the rule.

Urban Core is definitely where to be. bchris, if you can afford to rent in Crown Heights, that's definitely the direction I would go.

[AP]

Skinny Slim's is an incredibly friendly local bar with a great, casual crowd. Just go any night and look for our Sid Burgess and he'll introduce you to everyone there. And I'm not kidding in the least.


Where do you live? If not downtown I'd highly recommend moving down there, getting involved in Urban Neighbors, etc. It's extremely friendly and everyone gets to know each other eventually.


Perhaps you could volunteer at the OKC Museum of Art or at least go to some of their socials. Same goes for many other museums and galleries.

I've had the same problem moving to OKC, and the very first place I went was Skinny Slim's. Great place, awesome staff, and cool people. I'm there now probably 4 nights a week, so just shoot me a PM and maybe we could meet up.

[JayhawkTransplant]

1) Move, as mentioned above, to a more social neighborhood
2) Get a dog and go to the dog park a few times a week
3) Join and get active in a professional organization related to your industry
4) Take a class in something that interests you. Francis Tuttle has a ton of that I want to take. Class Offerings

[bradh]

3) Join and get active in a professional organization related to your industry

This is a great suggestion. If you work in O&G then YPE would be a great option.

[foodiefan]

sorry, can't let this pass. . .a couple people mentioned getting a dog. If you already have a pet, then heading to the dog park is a great idea. But. . .getting a dog solely as an avenue to meet people is just wrong. . .and unfair to the dog. Please think twice about this!!

[catch22]

sorry, can't let this pass. . .a couple people mentioned getting a dog. If you already have a pet, then heading to the dog park is a great idea. But. . .getting a dog solely as an avenue to meet people is just wrong. . .and unfair to the dog. Please think twice about this!!

Because I'm sure the dog would much prefer being in a shelter awaiting death.

[bradh]

Because I'm sure the dog would much prefer being in a shelter awaiting death.

Getting a dog without knowing what you're getting into and then sending it back is just the same

[foodiefan]

Getting a dog without knowing what you're getting into and then sending it back is just the same

this. . . plus, catch 22, I don't remember there being a caveat that it be a shelter dog.

[JayhawkTransplant]

I guess I thought that the notion of researching and contemplating the responsibilities of getting a dog would be obvious, just as it would be obvious to put some thought into moving or becoming heavily involved in a professional organization...

[foodiefan]

I guess I thought that the notion of researching and contemplating the responsibilities of getting a dog would be obvious, just as it would be obvious to put some thought into moving or becoming heavily involved in a professional organization...

well. . .yes!!! one would think. . . .on both fronts!!

[boscorama]

I guess I thought that the notion of researching and contemplating the responsibilities of getting a dog would be obvious, just as it would be obvious to put some thought into moving or becoming heavily involved in a professional organization...

Whew! Thought it was just me.

[tomokc]

My wife and & I have made great friends in our respective fitness groups, and they "cross-pollinate" very well when we socialize. I'm a cyclist and she's a runner. We've found that cyclists & runners are happy people, outgoing, involved in their community, optimists, and always looking for something new and interesting to do. Last night I rode with a small group out of the Paseo for 28 miles, and we had dinner afterwards at Paseo Grill (but we usually go to Sauced for $3.50 spaghetti). Over dinner we discussed the first Friday art walk in the Paseo, galleries, last week's OKCMOA exhibit opening, travel to Italy & the UK, downtown architecture, interesting things in our respective jobs, a relay race involving Spokies bikes, etc. During the ride we encountered one of my wife's colleagues on her bike.

There are a lot of good people on the roads.

[oki]

Im going to get heck for this - but if you are looking for women, go to the club and hit on a fat chick. DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH HER (or it will kill everything), over the next few weeks casually give her a text or call on the weekends and ask where they are at (since women always travel in packs). Meet up with her and just keep on talking to her as a friend, she is bound to have atleast a few decent friends. Easiest way to meet women is through other women.

That's horrible. Besides, some "fat" women are pretty, curvy, HOT, and personable and intelligent. Some "skinny" women are ugly, b**chy, boney and starving with issues, so thin they look like boys, dumb, or have no personality. It's terrible to hit on anyone you have no attraction to just to get their friends.

[oki]

Getting a dog without knowing what you're getting into and then sending it back is just the same

True.

People are tempted to get puppies, realize they aren't for them, then send the grown dog back into the shelter. That gave them a few more months of life... and a broken heart after they were good dogs to you now you abandoned them back in the scary shelter.

Getting a dog is seriously a 10-15 year long commitment.

That long term of a commitment is longer than some marriages, and not the ideal thing for a young single bachelor not wanting to get tied down.

[oki]

While Gallardia might be mostly family or old people, I know at least half a dozen young single bachelor's who live in that neighborhood.

You'd be surprised that it's not all old people out there. A few Thunder players live there, and I know a guy who's a 26 year old single childless dogless bachelor and lives there. Meeting there is a bit trickier. Have you tried playing golf? Jogging around the neighborhood and saying hi to younger people? Getting involved in the HOA or neighborhood crap?

And, yes, OKC does feel "young, married, with kids" for sure.

The average age to get married here and have kids is much, much younger than the West/East Coasts.

I suggest young professional groups and there's a few Meetups here I've been to that were really pleasant. I'm not sure what happened at your NC meetup, but some of the meetups here revolve around special interests -- books, dogs, wine/dinner, etc. There's no dating involved, and the Meetups I've been to are surprisingly friendly. It takes work to force yourself to be social at these things, but it's a start to "feel" like you have local friends. I will say that I don't think Meetups are the way to make close friends. You don't see the same people at each event-- people come and go, people don't always come, some people come once or twice then don't come for 6 months to an event.

Meetup lets you meet people, but I haven't found close friends out of that. Too large a group, too random of people coming or not coming to any event, etc.

I seriously suggest putting a Craigslist ad up not saying your gender or singledom and looking for a tennis partner, dog walker, something specific.

What kind of churches are you into? A know some single people in their late 20s who seem to like their churches and could ask for recommendations.

And, moving to make friends? Seriously? Gallardia is a nice neighborhood with a lot of perks. Who would move just to make friends? I wouldn't.

I live in the suburbs too. It's clean, classy, convenient, and quiet. No way, no how would I move to somewhere like the Paseo just for friends or "young people stuff." Some of that area is still sketch. The houses are old, and some need total renovation. Plus the traffic, noise, and part of those historic areas just look run down (or are run down). You should've seen those areas 10 years ago. They're much better now, but not "there." I wouldn't live there. I don't care for older, sometimes overpriced houses when I can get a nice new house that's larger or has more upgrades with neighborhood amenities in Edmond or Norman. If there's some event, bar, or "hip urban" restaurant I want to go to, yes, I'll have to drive away from my suburbs for it. But, for average daily life socializing, there's plenty to do in the suburbs-- it usually involves restaurants or shopping.

I would also try to expand your outlook on friends needing to be right at your age or being single, childless, etc. This is Oklahoma, after all. There's plenty of old people and married people. While I don't think it would be easy to be BFFs with a 70 year old or a parent of a 7 year old, meeting people of different ages can help a person have a wide perspective and hear interesting stories. I have friends my young age and 92 year old friends.

If you're into any kind of sports, I would suggest getting into a group for golf, frisbie, hiking, whatever it is. Sports clubs tend to have a lot of young people, and let's face it-- someone who's aged or has tons of kids/wife probably doesn't have much time to play frisbie.

So, what are your special interests?

[oki]

Urban Core is definitely where to be. bchris, if you can afford to rent in Crown Heights, that's definitely the direction I would go.

I would NOT live in Crown Heights. Seriously, the OP lives in Gallardia-- nice, shiny new, beautiful custom homes with all of the modern amenities, new kitchens, new baths, golf course, etc.. Crown Heights is a huge downgrade in comparison. Some Crown Heights homes are nice, yes, but the nice ones are often overpriced for their square footage and age. Plus, many need big $$ in renovations, older homes have much more maintenance and repairs to do, it's not as quiet in CH and there's more traffic, CH homes are usually smaller than what you can get for the same money in the suburbs, etc. CH homes also are more likely to have detached garages. Detached garages are not fun... defeats the point of having a garage in the first place so you don't have to walk through rain/snow to your car. Historic homes tend to have fewer bathrooms, smaller closets, etc. Plus, they tend to have master bedrooms upstairs with no private master bathroom-- who wants that? And who wants to share a small bathroom with their kids? Most people around here want the master bedroom downstairs plus a few kid's/guest bedrooms upstairs, as well as a huge master bathroom with modern features like double vanity sinks, rainfall showers, jacuzzi tubs, etc.

Long term, if the OP ever has kids, no way would he want them to attend the public schools near CH. He would have to spring for private schools, or move out of Crown Heights.

Old homes just aren't everyone's taste. Some people see the charm in 50 or 100 year old kitchens and bathrooms and floors, houses close together, etc. I like 'em younger and new. New houses you can build exactly what you want and not have to deal with repairs all of the time like with old houses. And, yes, I've lived in old houses before. Nightmare.

New suburban homes aren't everyone's taste either, granted, but the suburbs offer shiny, new, quiet, clean, and nice amenities. Large master bedrooms, large master bathrooms, custom kitchens, and all of the things people like now with less maintenance.