You women are crazy....

[dismayed]

It is so much easier for you to meet a guy than it is for a guy to meet a girl. If you seriously don't know how to do this, here are some tips:

1. If you see a guy ANYWHERE that you like... the supermarket, in line at the movies, a bar, etc. stare at him until he looks you in the eye... and SMILE. That's it! That's all you really have to do!

2. If this doesn't get him to walk over to you and say hi, then do it yourself. If that's too aggressive for you, then find an excuse to stand NEAR him. For example, if he's setting at a bar, go stand right next to him and order a drink. At some point he is going to look your way. When he does, say hi or make some funny comment or generic observation.

3. Have a conversation. If he asks you something, don't say "yep." Respond with a few sentences, give him something to work with so he knows you are interested.

4. If you have a conversation and he still doesn't ask for your number he's either dating someone, not interested, or just a d-bag. Move on. Unless you are just nuts for him, then ask for his number. Who cares, it's the 21st century, be a tiger.

[Tracy]

Why would I want someone who isn't interested enough in me to be a little more aggressive? Why would I want a man who has to be stared at, approached, chatted up and asked out?

A normal man has the natural "hunter" instinct... that's why normal men love sports, competitive business and/or fighting. They like to take control and be a conqueror. Why would I want a man who is passive and needs someone to do all the work for him? Besides, if he were really, truly interested in me, he would make an effort to let me know in some way, even if through a third party.

[windowphobe]

Besides, I suspect the average guy underestimates his timidity: were she to amble up to him in a supermarket aisle and give him a come-hither look, he'd probably flee to the frozen foods without even looking back.

[Tracy]

I guess I should add a couple of things that I feel need to be mentioned:

I have done what "dismayed" has described, many times. The general reaction I have gotten from men is fear, confusion, annoyance and dismissal. When the average woman takes this approach with the average man, he usually decides she's psycho, a wannabe stalker, desperate or slutty. I'm not saying it's right... I'm just relaying the information I've received from others. The men I've spoken to about this have all said the same thing: if he likes you, he'll let you know. You don't have to do much to get him to approach IF you're his "type" and IF he's interested in dating someone at the moment.

[StephiOKC]

Tracy you are right, Men need to step up to the plate and start taking back their manhood. Women chasing men.....something we are not really interested in. I have no problems talking to anyone....like you said most men look like a deer in the headlights when you start a conversation. Sad to me.

[Leon]

Men approach women not because they are "competitive". It's because, truth be told, men want a relationship more than women do.

[StephiOKC]

You are right Leon men do not approach woman for "competitvie" side...most dont approach anymore.....Men want a relationship? the "shyness" must be a sign of flirtation! hehe!
Doubt it.

[dismayed]

There's a subtle way to do what I described above, and the example given definitally wasn't it. Every girl I know, knows how to flash a smile and flick their hair back and then turn away to get a guys attention.

I dropped in here and noticed the pitty-party going on and thought I'd throw in my two cents. The truth is if you're waiting for life to come and sweep you away, you will probably be waiting for a long time.

[Tracy]

Well, don't let me keep your investment in hostage. Here...


You might be needing this later.

[Leon]

You are right Leon men do not approach woman for "competitvie" side...most dont approach anymore.....Men want a relationship? the "shyness" must be a sign of flirtation! hehe!
Doubt it.

Don't blame the fellas. Maybe they are reactive in nature; maybe their behavior is a result of their environment.

Men today are constantly bombarded with sexual harrassment training, diversity training, sensitivity awareness education, etc. If they don't make a pass at you, MAYBE it's because society has told them that society is fed up with their "one-track-mind".

A by-product of political correctness....men behaving as they've been taught to.

[StephiOKC]

Don't blame the fellas. Maybe they are reactive in nature; maybe their behavior is a result of their environment.

Men today are constantly bombarded with sexual harrassment training, diversity training, sensitivity awareness education, etc. If they don't make a pass at you, MAYBE it's because society has told them that society is fed up with their "one-track-mind".

A by-product of political correctness....men behaving as they've been taught to.

What a lame excuse......

[TomGirl]

Men used to be men and women used to be women, it's not even near the case now. Nobody really knows their roles anymore. I try to be the "woman" and this ends up more like a lesbian relationship. The women that whined about their man going hunting twice in one week or scratching themselves in public....well....look what we have now.... just like global warming, we girls, not the boys, have shifted the mindset of mankind. Women who were fine with the way things were are now griping about "unfair" things and men and men covered in tattoos are conviced they love the movie Moonstruck. Men are growing up less likely to ever touch a car motor, work in yards and not learning to make decisions. You have women taking over a lot of fields that used to be primarily male fields and we are slowly turning men into dependents. With a lot of women making more than a lot of men, how is it so easy for them to approach us? In these days, women really have to do the approaching now and we need to learn how to do this because the men will simply not do this anymore....we can whine about it all we want, but the fact is, we baked all of this up with out a solid receipe.

[StephiOKC]

I do agree with you Tomgirl, I have done much of the approaching ,I would say over 95% in the last 3 years with my relationships. And yes it ends up with the woman as the "head of the household" . Not what I want though. I can say that. I want a man to take the roles and responsibilties , "take charge" in the relationship. Plain and simple. Maybe that is the pipe dream, but it is one I would like to have.

[Tracy]

Men used to be men and women used to be women, it's not even near the case now. Nobody really knows their roles anymore. I try to be the "woman" and this ends up more like a lesbian relationship. The women that whined about their man going hunting twice in one week or scratching themselves in public....well....look what we have now.... just like global warming, we girls, not the boys, have shifted the mindset of mankind. Women who were fine with the way things were are now griping about "unfair" things and men and men covered in tattoos are conviced they love the movie Moonstruck. Men are growing up less likely to ever touch a car motor, work in yards and not learning to make decisions. You have women taking over a lot of fields that used to be primarily male fields and we are slowly turning men into dependents. With a lot of women making more than a lot of men, how is it so easy for them to approach us? In these days, women really have to do the approaching now and we need to learn how to do this because the men will simply not do this anymore....we can whine about it all we want, but the fact is, we baked all of this up with out a solid receipe.

Well, I understand where you're coming from, but given the scenario you described (which, BTW, I mostly agree with)... why would I WANT to approach any of these men?

[Karried]

Women who were fine with the way things were are now griping about "unfair" things

Some of those unfair things you are referring to are women not getting paid as much as a man, just because she was a woman. A women getting the crap beat out of her and living a life of terror and abuse because " he was the man of the house". Women and children living in poverty because the bread winner was a man and didn't want his wife to work (until he left her for his secretary of course) Women didn't have their own credit cards, money, retirement, they had to ask for money and account for every penny being spent .. because the man was 'head of the household'... a four course dinner was supposed to be ready on the table, kid's quiet, house clean..while the man waltzed in to a waiting martini and lounged in the recliner all night while the woman cleaned up, got the kids ready for bed etc etc.

Why wouldn't some women complain about things being unfair?

Things have shifted to more equality in relationships. It's not the man nor the woman who should have all of the control in the relationship.. it's a partnership with both parties having a say in the decision making.

I'm not sure why women who try to talk to a man are instantly considered 'aggressive or dominate'? What ever happened to mutual interest and attraction? Why should one person have to pursue and risk rejection while the other stands by helplessly.

It's your life and your desire to have a relationship, don't wait on the sidelines waiting for Prince Charming .. go out and get him.

[Deni]

I have noticed when a man gives his thoughts on single life and tells women how men feel he gets bashed on here. Being a woman we have fought for equal rights, more money in "men's fields", and the status of being taken seriously. Now we are complaining that men might be threatned with out new "POWER" Oh my heck. I am not single I am in a long term dating relationship. I do not want to get married. But I lived in that single life. I went after the man I have and we have been together a long time. Most "MEN" are not threatened when we smile at them, approach them, show them that we are interested. The men that are put off if you do that prolly aint a man that anyone else wants. Join a church singles group, take dancing lessons, do something that "woah makes you happy, then I bet when your happy within yourself the right man comes along. I promised myself 3 things.

1. I will always fullfil my own heart first.

2. I will never settle.

3. I won't look to anyone to take care of me.

I know this sounds like I am bashing women now, but that is far from the truth. I am just saying, put yourself first. Then watch how many real men are attracted to you. Here is some other rules I learned in the single life.

always be ready to go. Never leave the house looking unkept or like a couch potato. If you do not wear makeup, at least make yourself presentable, no one looks good as a slob.Look in the mirror at least 3 times before you leave your house. and last but not least ALWAYS WEAR CLEAN UNDERWEAR. I learned that from an allergic reaction...just kidding. my mom told me that I just thought it was cute. When you want something and don't need it, it truly makes a relationship better. Babies NEED their mommies, You want your MAN.
never settle for the one you can live with, love the one you can't live without.

[Easy180]

It may just also be many single guys are content being single and don't want to go through all the "fun" of dating...I was in no hurry and got married just shy of 30...I didn't go out looking to pick up anyone in my single years as I just went out for fun

So guys not approaching you ladies may not mean they are wusses....It may just simply mean they have no interest in getting in a relationship and are just out for beers with the guys...Simple as that

[bandnerd]

Dismayed--

My experience with men is that they don't always notice those "subtle" hints as easily as you evidently do. Sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns, so to speak.

[StephiOKC]

Easy180, I have heard that from more than one man. Interesting as it is. Everyone says they want a relationship but they dont want to work for one. I know that I will not have a great man come to my house and ring the doorbell, ring in hand. I am a go getter, so yes I have taken my life in my hands.

[StephiOKC]

Reading some of the posts I guess I should just say, that I guess some think that single women are just fat slobs sitting at home eating bon bons and crying over not finding "prince charming" (Sorry he does not exsist.)
I can say I have done the single groups ( rip off) and the online dating (current member) and that, no men do not show must interest in dating. One thing I am not willing to do....give up. Not in my nature. So I will keep on searching....and I will be looking for a good man that wants a partnership in life, and can take on the responsilblity of being in the household as a man. Just because I want that does not mean that I want the "cleaver" household as described above. Just that I want a man to be a man.

[Curt]

Men approach women not because they are "competitive". It's because, truth be told, men want a relationship more than women do.

Amen brother...

[Curt]

[QUOTE=HOTTCUTZ;79700] Being a woman we have fought for equal rights, more money in "men's fields", and the status of being taken seriously. QUOTE]


Exactly why women should approach men just as much as men should approach women.

[Curt]

Dismayed--

My experience with men is that they don't always notice those "subtle" hints as easily as you evidently do. Sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns, so to speak.

Oh yes we do...most men have just been burned so many times by acting on the assumption that a woman is interested that they dont act anymore because they know the end result.

[bandnerd]

Ah, so they just ignore the subtle hints, but then complain when women take the first step?

[Curt]

Ah, so they just ignore the subtle hints, but then complain when women take the first step?

I have never heard one guy complain when a woman made the first move but I have heard so many women complain that this guy or that guy is a pig because we looked at them the "wrong" way...doesnt matter that they were wearing shorts with something written across the butt or that they were wearing a shirt that was two sizes to small you will still complain that you are given the attention you are looking for that men are pigs.