Odd Humor

[Plutonic Panda]

woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She
reduced altitude and spotted a man below.

She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you
help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago
but I don't know where I am."

The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40
and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees
west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am",
replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is
technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your
information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've
not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my
trip even more."

The man below responded, "You must be in management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where
you're going.You have risen to where you are due to a large
quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea
how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your
problems?!!"

[Prunepicker]

English to Bill Cosby Translator!!!!!

English to Bill Cosby Translator | LingoJam

In the 60's Bill Cosby had a radio program that lasted about 10 minutes. I'd
await every program, they were normally around 7:40pm, if I remember
correctly. There were two characters I remember, the Brown Hornet and
Captain 'Oh, Wow'. Ring that birthday bell!

[Prunepicker]

Bill Cosby Radio Program "Capt Oh-Wow" - YouTube

Bill Cosby Radio Program "Brown Hornet" - YouTube

I never thought of looking in You Tube. How fantastic is this.

[Plutonic Panda]

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t
have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk
driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle
registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked
up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic
bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly
backs away to his car, and calls for
back up. Within minutes 5 police cars
circle the car. A senior officer slowly
approaches the car, clasping his half
drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out
of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me
that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open
the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk,
revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration
papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims
that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag
and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer. The officer
snaps open the clutch purse and
examines the license. He looks quite
puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of
my officers told me you didn’t have a
license, that you stole this car, and
that you murdered and hacked up the
owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told
you I was speeding too.

[Plutonic Panda]

[Plutonic Panda]

[kevinpate]

Plutonic, I love that! For some time, my daughter, her hub and their friends have a similar game, though on a smaller scale. When my daughter was little, she had a Baby Sparkles doll. There's just something about its eyes that are, well, a touch creepy after all these years. So Baby Sparkles tends to disappear, then reappear in odd places, like the fridge door (when it wasn't there at 10p the night before, or the bathroom window shelf, or on someone's pillow. They tend to be creative, and one never knows when Baby Sparkles will come out to play ... or if she has invited Chucky.

My mama collected clowns, and a few of them were creepy looking to her. When she was still with us, we had a lot of fun, her perhaps less so, with the more creepy clowns finding new locations around the house. So yeah, my daughter, she comes by it honestly.

The newest generation has begun as well. My older darling grandbabies, both under 5 at the time, wandered into the living room at home a while back with a doll in a mesh bag and announced they have been playing kidnapping and gee wasn't that just creepy.

While none of us have a cousin It, we all seem to enjoy the Adams family ... perhaps a tad too much.

[Plutonic Panda]

That's hilarious! Sounds like you have a rockin family Mr. Pate.... I did that with a rubber snake one time and put it in my grandmother's bathtub and let's just say it didn't go too well.

[boscorama]

That's funnier'n sh!t.

[Plutonic Panda]

I like this guy

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