How to meet people in OKC?

[adaniel]

The OP lives in an apartment by Gaillardia, not the actual neighborhood. Those are some alright apartments but I doubt they have the baller status interiors that oki outlines.

I don't want to bash suburbs, but I have been in the OP's shoes. Living in the suburbs as a young, single person and especially as a transplant is an incredibly isolating experience. My year living off of NW Expressway was the most mind numbing things I've ever gone through, despite having a very nice apartment. Living in midtown I can honestly say I am never bored. Who cares if you have nice appliances and lots of space for your nonexistent kids if you are miserable and lonely. I mean Kevin freakin Durant and all his millions moved out of Gallardia into Deep Deuce... that alone should tell you something.

I said it before earlier, OKC does not have pockets of nightlife in the suburbs for younger and/or single people like larger cities do (i.e. Addison in Dallas), unless dancing with the cougars at Groovys or or fist pumping at Fox and Hound is your thing. And its okay if it is, its just that there is so much more deeper in the city. You pay for better access to both work and fun living in the city. To a lot of people, that's worth it.

[oki]

The OP lives in an apartment by Gaillardia, not the actual neighborhood. Those are some alright apartments but I doubt they have the baller status interiors that oki outlines.

I don't think anybody likes NW Expressway, or apartments in general.

The OP has an apartment? That sucks. I thought he was a balla' in Gaillardia.

If he's just renting some apartment somewhere, then he should have easy access to young people right now-- young single people often live in apartments. Apartment complexes have gyms, pools, movie theaters, and other crap to socialize in. Young people are often poor(er) or don't want long-term commitments (home ownership) and congregate to apartments. Try grabbing a beer and knocking on a neighbors door in your apartment.

If the OP owned a Gaillardia swanky bachelor pad, he could have some nice parties out there in a house and all of the amenities. What apartment complexes are even out by Gaillardia? Sucks he can't play golf out there or enjoy those amenities.

Since he doesn't own a house and apartments suck in general, there's no long-term real estate property value to worry about, maintenance costs associated with old historic homes, school districts, or all of those headaches. In that case, he could bounce around and try out different apartments without dropping a few hundred thousand or more and hoping some neighborhood stays "hip and chic" for urban young adults later on. In that case, he could try the apartments by Hefner, Quail, or something to get easier access to "hip" places while maintaining the nice comforts of the suburbs. If you don't own where you live, you can move whenever you want relatively easily... and move again if you don't like it with minimal financial consequences. That changes everything for him.

If the OP just moved here from some other city, I could see how that could be isolating regardless of his neighborhood. Especially since a lot of people here grew up here. OP, have you tried going to lunch with co-workers or getting to know people over drinks after work? How about Habitat for Humanity or some charity? OKC Young Professionals?

I've lived in huge mega cities and small cities before I moved here. I'm suburban. I'm young. I've lived in urban high-rise apartments and suburban houses. I still would prefer nicer interiors to old run down outdated "historic" homes that are a few feet from each other. I get how this city sometimes isn't the easiest to meet single, childless people. Meetups, Young Professionals, work, church, charity groups, or sports groups are just about the best way. Or post a Craigslist platonic ad about something you're into (basketweaving, beer, whatever) and seek out a friend that way.

I guess I've become an Okie enjoying my nice new affordable homes with tons of closet space, yards, garages, nice clean huge Target stores, shopping malls, easy free parking, relatively less traffic, and huge rooms. Those things (ok, and the relative slow pace and friendliness) are the entire reason I find OKC attractive and appealing. If I wanted to live in an overpriced tiny urban loft and have to walk everywhere, fight traffic all of the time and spend hours to find parking, deal with break-ins and crime, have noise from bars and nightclubs nearby, have no yard or green space to enjoy, and hear my condo/apartment neighbors and deal with all of that crap, I'd move back to NYC. Or Tokyo. Or somewhere to get the "real" urban living benefits if I had to deal with all those headaches of overpriced, noisy, trafficy, tiny, hassle-riddled urban living in tiny apartments or aged outdated overpriced townhouses.

Yes, I have to "drive" to bars or nightclubs away from my suburbs. That's how I roll, anyway. I wouldn't want bars, nightclubs, etc. near my house-- noise, drunks, non-sense. I prefer work, shops, restaurants, and normal nice daily life stuff to be convenient to me. I don't want to have to fight traffic or see bars or deal with urban lifestyle issues daily. I can have my fun on the weekends if I want to branch out, and enjoy my nice quiet modern kitchen with appliances and tons of closet space too.

If you want to really party it up downtown and drink all night, yes, you're stuck taking a cab from the suburbs-- unless you have someone driving you there. That would be a perk about living near a bar downtown-- you could drink then walk home. Nice.

Sometimes it would be nice to live next door or in the high-rise above a restaurant, movie store, grocery store, etc. again. But, really, all of those things are less than a 5 minute drive from me anyway. I prefer my nice single family home where I don't have to listen to all that noise, deal with the crowds, traffic, and other crap that high-rise living or crowded "hip" neighborhoods mean.

I can see how the suburbs can feel all "mommy and me" and be awkward as a single bachelor. But there are more single people in the suburbs than one might think... you just have to find them. Oklahoma overall marries very young and has kids young compared to the rest of the country. That's noticeable whether you live downtown or in the suburbs. There are still some of us holding out though.

The average age for women to get married in Oklahoma is 24. For men it's 26. Yes, that's an Oklahoma (and similar states) thing.
Compare that to age 30 and age 34, respectively, in New York. Yes, I notice it feeling like "everyone" in Oklahoma is married.

You can be just as isolated in an urban loft apartment in a downtown Manhatten high-rise as you can be in a suburban house if you don't get out there and keep trying to meet people the right way. Seriously, I've lived in both. The urban neighborhood itself doesn't magically bring you friends-- you have to go outside and do crap. Preferably fun crap. I'll grant that about the suburbs tending to have either old people or people with kids. But, there's still some young people in most neighborhoods... even in actual Gaillardia. When you come across people who don't fit your niche (married with kids), try again with others. In neighborhoods, your best bet is either to knock on neighbors doors and invite them to a BBQ or go introduce yourself. Yes, plenty of them will have kids. Maybe that's not the worst thing ever. If you're in an apartment complex, even better. Apartment neighbors are more likely to be younger and childless than people who own homes here. Have a BBQ on your balcony or invite them over for drinks. The first party will be awkward with few people showing up. You might even be sitting there alone the first few times. Special interest groups, charities, and the like are really the way to go to meet people. Meeting people in a bar doesn't generally make for long-lasting, meaningful relationships anyway. Three words: special interest groups. Or, bring your neighbor a beer. (Make sure your neighbor isn't a 100 year old woman first. Unless she's into beer...)

If the OP has an apartment, there must be plenty of other young people there. Seriously, knock on a door some evening and bring your neighbor a beer. Or houseplant. Or linger in the hallway and say hi to passerbys. If the apartments out there aren't ghetto, you could even live your door open during the 5 p.m. "rush hour" when everyone is heading home and act like you're doing something by he door (cleaning out an entry closet?) and say hi to neighbors as they walk by.

[oki]

No wonder it feels like "everyone" here is married:

Average marriage ages:

Oklahoma:
24-26

New York:
30-34

Oregon:
26-28

Rhode Island:
28

[PWitty]

No wonder it feels like "everyone" here is married:

Average marriage ages:

Oklahoma:
24-26

New York:
30-34

Oregon:
26-28

Rhode Island:
28

Where did you get those numbers? I googled it out of curiousity and the ones I found were lower for New York. But essentially OK was about 1-3 years younger than the rest of the country not counting DC. Yeah OK was one of the 5 youngest, but all the states are pretty grouped up. I think it's just something that people think about and bring up when they talk about OK and now everyone accepts it as fact. I mean heck TX was only about a year older on average and nobody ever talks about everyone in Dallas and Houston being married. The way I see it, all the girls in OK are just so attractive that all the guys feel like they have to snatch them up before they lose their chance Just my 2 cents though.

Live Science

[bluedogok]

No wonder it feels like "everyone" here is married:

Average marriage ages:

Oklahoma:
24-26

New York:
30-34

Oregon:
26-28

Rhode Island:
28

I guess I skewed that because my only marriage was when I was 39, met plenty of women in their mid-30's who weren't married as well and not all of them were divorced with kids. They are out there but may not be as easy to find, at least one that is worthwhile. My wife was 38 and never married (albeit living in Austin) when we married.

[bchris02]

I don't want to bash suburbs, but I have been in the OP's shoes. Living in the suburbs as a young, single person and especially as a transplant is an incredibly isolating experience. My year living off of NW Expressway was the most mind numbing things I've ever gone through, despite having a very nice apartment. Living in midtown I can honestly say I am never bored. Who cares if you have nice appliances and lots of space for your nonexistent kids if you are miserable and lonely. I mean Kevin freakin Durant and all his millions moved out of Gallardia into Deep Deuce... that alone should tell you something.

Is there any suburban areas that have more younger, single people than others in this city or do I pretty much have to live downtown? For instance, if I lived in Norman, would I have any better luck? I am not necissarily looking to be right next door to bars and nightlife, just in an area of town where I am more likely to meet other single people like at church for instance? I want to say again I am not looking for a dating relationship at this time, just friends. Far NW OKC is extremely family oriented and I think living out here is part of the problem. Mind-numbing properly describes the experience I've had this past year. I support downtown as much as the next guy, however my family tells me they won't come and visit me if I live downtown and being close to family is one of the primary reasons I live in OKC, so it would be nice if I could find somewhere that is still suburban but more single-friendly than NW OKC.

Can anybody on here who is religious recommend churches that have active singles groups for people in their 20s, besides Crossings? I have seen PeopleChurch recommended, which I haven't tried yet but plan to soon. Any others?

[soonerguru]

Is there any suburban areas that have more younger, single people than others in this city or do I pretty much have to live downtown? For instance, if I lived in Norman, would I have any better luck? I am not necissarily looking to be right next door to bars and nightlife, just in an area of town where I am more likely to meet other single people like at church for instance? I want to say again I am not looking for a dating relationship at this time, just friends. Far NW OKC is extremely family oriented and I think living out here is part of the problem. Mind-numbing properly describes the experience I've had this past year. I support downtown as much as the next guy, however my family tells me they won't come and visit me if I live downtown and being close to family is one of the primary reasons I live in OKC, so it would be nice if I could find somewhere that is still suburban but more single-friendly than NW OKC.

Can anybody on here who is religious recommend churches that have active singles groups for people in their 20s, besides Crossings? I have seen PeopleChurch recommended, which I haven't tried yet but plan to soon. Any others?

Your family won't visit you if you live downtown???? WTF? WHY???

That is insane.

You're not going to find something suburban and single friendly. And if crime is your family's concern, Downtown and Midtown are safer than most of the close-in neighborhoods are.

You need to do what is best for you. You're still young but you're old enough that you shouldn't put off experiencing what is great about being young and unattached.

[bchris02]

Your family won't visit you if you live downtown???? WTF? WHY???

That is insane.

You're not going to find something suburban and single friendly. And if crime is your family's concern, Downtown and Midtown are safer than most of the close-in neighborhoods are.

You need to do what is best for you. You're still young but you're old enough that you shouldn't put off experiencing what is great about being young and unattached.

I agree with all these points.

My parents are stuck in an 80s mindset that downtown = crime and there really isn't anything I can do or show them to change that. It isn't that abnormal of a mindset for somebody who came of age during that era. Downtown Charlotte is much more revitalized than downtown OKC currently is and doesn't feel unsafe at all, but they wouldn't even set foot there.

I also agree that I am still young but the clock is ticking. I don't have as much time to waste as I did at 21 or 22. That kind of has me depressed about this entire thing and having done pretty much nothing this past year other than work. I left an awesome life and group of friends, and terrible job in Charlotte for a great job here but no life after I clock out. My lease where I live now runs out next June, but that's almost another year away.

[CuatrodeMayo]

My parents are stuck in an 80s mindset that downtown = crime and there really isn't anything I can do or show them to change that. It isn't that abnormal of a mindset for somebody who came of age during that era. Downtown Charlotte is much more revitalized than downtown OKC currently is and doesn't feel unsafe at all, but they wouldn't even set foot there.

Honestly, in my experience, that attitude is surprisingly common among those that have lived in the metro for more than 20 years.

My wife and I are raising our family in the inner-city. I have friends who are doing the same whose parents are long-time residents of the burbs. We have been the recipients of subtle and not-so-subtle hints about our choice of neighborhood.

[bradh]

Honestly, in my experience, that attitude is surprisingly common among those that have lived in the metro for more than 20 years.

My wife and I are raising our family in the inner-city. I have friends who are doing the same whose parents are long-time residents of the burbs. We have been the recipients of subtle and not-so-subtle hints about our choice of neighborhood.

This is exactly right. My wife and I have lived here for 5 years, and while we live up near where bchris lives, we take advantage of everything all areas of the city has to offer. We enjoyed PremiereOKC on Friday.

Our neighbors, same age as us (early 30s), grew up in Edmond and the PC North area, and don't give a rats ass about anything south of 63rd. They've never enjoyed any of the new restaurants or bars in midtown/downtown other than McNellie's.

[soonerguru]

This is exactly right. My wife and I have lived here for 5 years, and while we live up near where bchris lives, we take advantage of everything all areas of the city has to offer. We enjoyed PremiereOKC on Friday.

Our neighbors, same age as us (early 30s), grew up in Edmond and the PC North area, and don't give a rats ass about anything south of 63rd. They've never enjoyed any of the new restaurants or bars in midtown/downtown other than McNellie's.

Reading this explains a lot about some of Oklahomans' general backwardness, insularity, and basic lack of curiosity about the world.

Thank God we at least have an alternative to that now, one that is growing and improving. Without it, our city would wither on the vine.

Cities need to be competitive, and the total suburban model is not popular with Gen Y. Again, thanks to our citizens and leaders for having the foresight to create an urban alternative.

[soonerguru]

I agree with all these points.

My parents are stuck in an 80s mindset that downtown = crime and there really isn't anything I can do or show them to change that. It isn't that abnormal of a mindset for somebody who came of age during that era. Downtown Charlotte is much more revitalized than downtown OKC currently is and doesn't feel unsafe at all, but they wouldn't even set foot there.

I also agree that I am still young but the clock is ticking. I don't have as much time to waste as I did at 21 or 22. That kind of has me depressed about this entire thing and having done pretty much nothing this past year other than work. I left an awesome life and group of friends, and terrible job in Charlotte for a great job here but no life after I clock out. My lease where I live now runs out next June, but that's almost another year away.

Is there any way to get out of your lease? If so, what would be the penalty? If you're in a corporate apartment community, does the community have a downtown location, such as Legacy? Just wondering about your options.

[bchris02]

Is there any way to get out of your lease? If so, what would be the penalty? If you're in a corporate apartment community, does the community have a downtown location, such as Legacy? Just wondering about your options.

There is no way out of my lease. I didn't think though about transferring complexes. The closest to downtown apartment the company has is at 30th and Villa, just north of Shepherd Mall. Even that may not be possible and I am not sure whether that is a safe area or not.

[soonerguru]

There is no way out of my lease. I didn't think though about transferring complexes. The closest to downtown apartment the company has is at 30th and Villa, just north of Shepherd Mall. Even that may not be possible and I am not sure whether that is a safe area or not.

It's a decent area but there's not much more there that would improve your social outlets, IMO. I think the apartment is called Copperfield. There are probably lots of OCU students there for what it's worth.

Another idea: what if you ask your apt. manager if you can switch to month to month until they get it leased? They may actually like this option because they may be able to get a higher rent with a new tenant.

[rxmom03]

Can anybody on here who is religious recommend churches that have active singles groups for people in their 20s, besides Crossings? I have seen PeopleChurch recommended, which I haven't tried yet but plan to soon. Any others?

I cannot comment with any experience on my churches young singles program--I am 51 and in the older singles group--but have you checked out Quail Springs Baptist Church? I know I always see tons of people in your age group in between classes (there are classes both at 9:30 and 11 and a cafe area where people hang out between SS/church. The Singles Pastor is awesome and truly emphasizes relationships with others (friendships not dating). There are lots of ways to get involved, both in the Singles Dept and in the church as a whole and I will say that I have never felt uncomfortable or shuffled off in the corner here. I could talk forever about this, but will stop here ;-) Anyway, QSBC is an awesome church!

Mary