Given up hope on love

[dirtrider73068]

Yup just as it says, I have given up hope on love. No matter what I do or try its just not there anymore, thinking I could revive a old bad relationship, but its just not working. I can even find friendship, have somebody to even hang out with me, after two years of trying I guess I am doing something wrong and just need to give up. I am the easiest laid back kicked back easy to get along with dude anybody could be around. I love to just to sit around and listen to some tunes and sit outside and chill but can't find that one to share it with. I love taking rides on my bike but haven't found the the one that has a like for motorcycles. I don't know what else to do besides pray I hit the lottery and have millions to blow then maybe by chance I will find sombody pretty quick then I am sure. I don't have loads to blow or spend, I can't go party every night or every weekend, shoot I don't even know whats its like to go out anymore, since I have nobody to go out with. What does it take to make friendship, even with just a female? Do they think because a guy thinks he wants friendship he expects more? I don't all I need is that companionship, just somebody to share my time and thoughts with, maybe a little cuddleing but no more than just sitting on the couch under a blanket and watch som emovies or even tv. After two years of sitting here alone, and trying on love I am given up hope.

[Midtowner]

Get a gym membership somewhere. If you don't meet people there, at least you can do something to enhance your self-esteem. If you don't think highly of yourself (which apparently you don't?), then you'll have a tough time convincing others to do so.

Also, if you really want to meet members of the opposite sex, enter a target-rich environment -- take a few college courses.

[dirtrider73068]

Me at the gym no way, don't do the gym getting enough exercise at work. Thats one thing I am not down on myself I am proud of me and what I am and what I can do and what my limits can let me do. I don't have a whole of money to go out and do stuff like take college courses, if I did I would love to enroll in some that are in, can't remember what it is, but it has to do with engineering things, or inventing things, or improveing on things already in existence. I have a good all around knowledge, can fix anything thats broke with little to nothing, or what ever is laying around, just don't have the book smarts for the course or money to take it. I have a limited budget on what I can do I found out some if not most woman want you to spend money, I am not one of those I do not like to spend if I don't have to,I would rather be at home and watch tv or movies, then go out and spend 14 bucks on a movie, by the time two people go to the movies you can easly spend 50 bucks and not know it, I can't do that.

[CowboyConservative]

What midtowner is telling you is go to where there are people who share your interests. There has to be a motorcycle club or some other type club nearby you could join. Girls like riding motorbikes just as much as guys do. I am going to school at Rose State taking business classes so the wife and I can start our own business. I have several young ladies in my classes who are avid motorcycle riders.

If you want to meet that special someone you have to go where people congregate. It can be a church, bar, social gathering, anything. Shake off your shyness. Everyone else is just as nervous as you. Think like your 10 foot tall and bulletproof. Just do not act like a jerk.

Women love confidence in a man. The shy guy attitude screams "I am boring. Hang out with me if you want be stuck on a couch every night." You do not need money or good looks. Just alot of confidence and little creativity.

Now get out there the world is waiting. Ms. Right is not going to come knocking at your door.

[Midtowner]

I'm married, so that makes me an expert in relationships.
that is a lie

Dirt -- you basically just need to put yourself out there. If you don't have any friends, just look up old friends -- from high school if you have to. If you go to church, maybe you could try a church singles group?

Money helps.. God knows I've spent it (and it was all worth it!). It's not necessary though. On a budget, you'll just have to be a little more creative.

You know this though. Why would you even post that you were 'giving up'? You know that's not true.

[bandnerd]

Cooking classes at William-Sonoma Monday nights, $25.

The library is free.

A class at Rose State is not that expensive. Neither is just one class at UCO.

I even know someone who participates in an African drum circle. If we have one of those, then I'm most certain there has to be a motorcycle club somewhere in this city.

I've never understood these posts that say "I'm giving up." Why would you do that? Is that the kind of person you are or want to be?

Do you not have any friends with friends? How do you think a lot of people meet? "Hey, I've got this friend..." How do you think I met Mid? Through a mutual friend. Lord knows before we met, we had both been dating...well...unsatisfactory people

Giving up is lame. Don't do it. There are too many things and ways to meet people in this city.

[Karried]

http://www.oklahomacoc.com/

Dirtrider, here is a list of motorcycle clubs in OK. Not sure if you only want Dirt bike clubs or others but this might be a place to start.

It is discouraging, I would imagine to try to find someone compatible.. but think about it.. you are now entering a time where you are ready for a relationship. You went through some hard times a few years back and you wouldn't have been anywhere ready to meet someone and give them your best. Now you are and you Have to get out there... no one is going to show up on your porch while you kick back.

You can find excused to not do the things you want in life or you can just do them and find a way - you can take a college course.. they aren't that expensive and they have counselors to help set you up. You can get a used book on Ebay or elsewhere.. There is a way to take the courses you want.. have you checked out OCCC?" http://www.okc.cc.ok.us/

For more information :
Prospective Student Services
(405) 682-7580
7777 South May Avenue
Oklahoma City, OK 73159

Here is the online schedule of classes but if you call, they might mail you one:
http://www.occc.edu/Schedule.html

You might ask about financial aid or programs available... I know they have a scholarship program for students in middle school and high school but I'm not sure about adults.

[dirtrider73068]

Thats the problem I don't have any friends never really had any friends, don't have old friends, I have tried the "hey do you know anybody I could hook up with" routine from a couple of people and nothing come about of it, they were suppose to check on it for me. I met a girl who I thought wanted to hook up and do things, she would talk to me at work and such, but when I came time to want to do something she wouldn't or made up some excuse, I guess she rather stay home and fit with her boyfriend and beat each other to a pulp everynight. I have wanted to go check out I guess its called city beach in del city, but have heard a ad for another one on sheilds, but would like to have somebody go out with me, guess I could give my cuz a call and see if he would go with me some friday night.

CC if you have seraral ladies in class that are avid MC riders see where they get together to ride or hang out, I have tried putting together my own brand of MC club, there were a few riders here in OK but none watned to put forth the effort to maek a club or go ride.

Karried I tried that link for clubs but there wasn't many listed and those that were, wasn't very imformative, will have to dig deeper in to the site, maybe in a bit while I am eating dinner.

bandnerd, I know how to cook in fact I love to grill, cooking is fairly easy depending on whats being cooked. I can do steaks and pork chops real good on the grill, and lemon pepper shrimp too.

I guess I could just let the flys fly asn see what happens if anything, I even tried here a few times when newcomers signed up if it was a female I would intro myself and try to get them to talk but they would just dissappear, even went to a supposed singles night a couple years back but those that were to go never showed and I was of course all alone. Guess will just what happens.

[bandnerd]

dirtrider, dear, I was suggesting the cooking class so you can meet some nice ladies. I went once and had a blast and met some really nice people. I wasn't trying to insinuate that you couldn't cook

They tend to do more "gourmet" things anyway...always nice to have that in your back pocket if you do get a nice young lady in your home for dinner!

[CowboyConservative]

You are giving nothing but excuses and that is my number one pet peeve. If you want to change your life you have to be willing to change for the better. If you think your unattractive do something about it. Go to the Gym or workout at home. Change your style of dress. Change your personality and force your self to be a little more aggressive and outgoing. If your shy, force your self to be social. Sure, it will be awkward and embarrassing at first. In due time you will overcome those feelings and find something that works for you.

Guys with confidence in who they are and what they have accomplished never have a problem finding a date. This is simply because women love men who are confident.

The biggest step you need to take is overcoming the feeling of worthlessness. Shake it off and be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished in your life. Stop caring what all the people that reject you and criticize you think. Spend time with those that give you their undivided attention.

A little confidence and pride goes a long way with most women. Just do not over do it and become an egotistical jackass.

[Luke]

As a young single teacher surrounded by children and old women, my prospects weren't good. Desperate times called for desperate measures so I signed up for eHarmony.com. One year later I'm married to the woman of my dreams. Our pre-marital counselor was flabbergasted by our compatibility. Crazy that it actually worked.

See if this works:

http://web.mac.com/swooshou/iWeb/Luk...s/100_1059.jpg

[dirtrider73068]

You two look good together, I have tried that eharmony.com but am not going to pay 50 a month I think at the time it was to sign up to look at the personals, even most others are about 20 a month to sign up to even reply to personals let alone get replys from other members. I have also found that most spammers pray on those personal sites anymore sending out fake replys to webcam sites or another personal site. I even tried megafriends.com which is a true 100% free personal/friendship site and it turned into the same spammed replys. I am sure there real good personal sites, but I don't want to have to pay 20 a month to be on a personal site.

[Luke]

...but I don't want to have to...

I didn't want to either. But I got over it.

Look, if you don't want to try new things or don't want to sacrifice, then you can't really complain. Unfortunately the woman of your dreams isn't going to just knock on your door one night.

Do you go to church? Perhaps a church small group or social gathering would be beneficial for you in many ways.

[Curt]

Going to the gym or signing up for some night classes is a good way to get out where females are so it's a good choice of things to do...I am by far not an expert...my last one lasted three months and it crushed me when she broke up with me...for what reason I still dont know to be honest..but she did...but for that one door that closed two more opend...so get out there and be yourself and you will find someone.

[Midtowner]

Hey, until you do something besides sit back and whine about your poor self being so lonely, that's exactly what you'll be.

Why sit around worrying and feeling sorry for yourself when you could be using the same time to be out there trying to correct whatever is wrong with your life?

If you're resigned to being a confirmed bachelor, fine, I won't talk you out of it. If you're just on here looking for people to go "No, hey dirt, you're such a great guy, let me pump some sunshine," then quitcherbitchin, drag yourself out of the house, and do something to correct your situation.

[Dave Cook]

Dirtrider...

For heaven's sakes..man....it's easy to figure out why you say you don't have any 'friends'...even old ones.

If you carry on in person like you do here on the internet....you're in for a very lonely existance.

Advice....stop looking and it will find you! That's what people told me 10 years ago....and I'm not about to quit waiting.

[Leon]

Ehh, I don't think anyone ever really gives up; they just stop trying as hard. And boom, that's when somebody finds you.

Get yourself a couple of hobbies...things to do that don't cost a lot but do get you out of the house. And then get into your hobby; you'll cross paths with others and have something to talk about when you do.

[Luckyduck]

I too had kinda given up several months ago. Lost a little bit of weight ( 10 lbs) just enough for us girls to feel a little more confident.. told friends that I was looking and a couple tried to set me up with someone, joined an on line dating service and after several men that I didn't like I found someone that I liked. Be outgoing, be friendly..check in the mirror a second. Are you a confident person or do you radiate sadness---like I did for awhile??