Censorship vs. Openess

[{la_resistance}]

I am still in high school but wanted to hear want paretns think about the above topic.
Then- I started life as a vicious bully who would beat kids with their own toys.In second grade I knocked out a ninth grader for making fun of my mom. All that year I was expelled from school after school. After second grade I slowly started to change and abandon my diciplinary problems. My last major insurrection was five years ago in fifth grade when I tried to lead a revolution against adults fr making kids do chores.
Now- I am a sophomore; I don't do drugs (seriously),I am not sexually active, I try to be the best pacifist I can be with the hormones and whatnot-despite my love of video games and movies like the Matrix I still never engage in fights-,and I believe I currently have a 3.2 GPA. I grew up in a scholarly environment and was able to watch any shows movies or play any video games I wanted to. My mother gave me the freedom to choose practically everything. I ended up realizing what was good and what was bad according to my convictions. I -for example- did not abuse my freedom and watch porn all the time or roam the street looking for trouble.I do not back-talk my mother and try to treat her with respect.I am also interested in politics and philosophy as well as law and video game developing. The one thing I do regret most, however, is that I do not have the best of work ethics. I could easily do better in school, I simply choose not to.
I believe my mom did an exemplary job raising me an I thank her everyday for it.She had to overcome extraordinary problems though and that only adds to my gratefullness. Well my life stories aside I suppose the purpose of this new thread is to ask everyone about their experience/theories on raising kids/teens with a policy of cesorship or complete openness or somewhere in between.

{Please forgive me if a simlar thread has already been started as I only looked about three pages back}

[Midtowner]

Could you rephrase your statement in the form of a question? I'm not positive what you're asking here.

[CaptainAmerica]

It would be nice to actually understand what your asking, as midtowner said above

[{la_resistance}]

Sorry for the problems. Here is the clean version:
I am still in high school but wanted to hear what parents think about the above topic.
I believe my mom did an exemplary job raising me an I thank her everyday for it.She had to overcome extraordinary problems though and that only adds to my gratefullness. I turned out well despite the fact that much of my family does not approve of my mother's permissive policies. What do you think? What is the right combination of openness and censorship and at what age? Should a child be allowed to watch "R" rated movies and "M" rated games?or is it better to censor TV and movies and restrict what they can watch?

{Yes, I know the way I worded the question is biased.}

[Midtowner]

la -- I don't think it really matters so long as good values are taught. It's clear that your mother did something right. In your case, it looks like she let you screw up for a bit and then she steered you in the right direction.

As long as she was there to steer you, that's fine.

But the answer to your question is not so simple. I'd have to say that the maxim "different strokes for different folks" applies here. What works best in one family and with one kid isn't going to work in another family with another kid.

If it were so easy, they'd hand out instruction manuals at the hospital.

[bandnerd]

My parents never censored anything. My sister and I pretty much censored ourselves. We were good kids (I know that's probably hard for some on this forum to believe) and never got in trouble. Seriously. Not even detention, except for that one time I was caught playing on the drums in 7th grade band. My mom laughed and said she'd have probably been doing the same thing

Anyway, things weren't quite as bad as they are now on tv and in movies...sort of. I mean, Rambo was a violent movie but movies weren't as graphic back then, probably due to limitations in special effects. Sex and language are also more prevalent than they were a couple of decades ago.

If I had kids, I would probably give guidelines, and try and offer activities away from television that would help build social skills, their intellect, their appreciation of culture...but I seriously doubt I would flat-out censor anything. Anything can be okay if you explain it well and the kids understand your guidelines about what is okay and what isn't.

[shadow713]

i agree with almost everything said. my only difference is that age is important here. i dont think that a 5 year old would be able to handle r rated movies and such. i think children past a certain age where they feel they can handle it can move towards those things and not be negatively influenced.

So i think that censorship is good to a certain age, then openess is far more important.

[{la_resistance}]

That is not always true. I saw my first "R" at the ripe old age of two and I always give my mom hell about it. I think it really depends on the mental maturity of the child. I know ten year olds who can handle things that thirty year olds cannot.

[CaptainAmerica]

I find that seriously hard to believe, and very very hard to accept as the typical situation.

I believe everything should be mainly open with explanation whenever the child asks. With the exception of curse words and sex. Although i believe that the "sex talk" should occur before the typical age of 12.

I am sorry, but at any age before ten, curses are going to simply get spit back out of the childs mouth long before they are able to grasp the connotation of the word and understand when, if ever it is necessary for it to be used.

[shadow713]

That is not always true. I saw my first "R" at the ripe old age of two and I always give my mom hell about it. I think it really depends on the mental maturity of the child. I know ten year olds who can handle things that thirty year olds cannot.

i myself have always been able to handle such things. no it is not always true, but it can be thats for sure. i did say that it can work at different ages

[shadow713]

I find that seriously hard to believe, and very very hard to accept as the typical situation.

I believe everything should be mainly open with explanation whenever the child asks. With the exception of curse words and sex. Although i believe that the "sex talk" should occur before the typical age of 12.

I am sorry, but at any age before ten, curses are going to simply get spit back out of the childs mouth long before they are able to grasp the connotation of the word and understand when, if ever it is necessary for it to be used.

this also applies to the maturity level. some can handle it some cannot. i know people who could handle it and i myself could handle it. yes i knew all about sex when i was 8. i saw my parents watching a porno and i was thinking big whoop.

as for cursing well i do curse however i have only been cursing for a couple of years. and i dont regularly curse only when i am really pissed off. children depending on if they are truly of mature minds can handle such things.

[bandnerd]

yes i knew all about sex when i was 8. i saw my parents watching a porno and i was thinking big whoop.

Oh my gravy. :boff:

As for little kids watching R rated movies...I remember once fondly sitting my mother's lap, watching Rambo at the ripe old age of 3. I also remember watching Jaws about that time. And Alien/Aliens. Now, Aliens scared the bejebus out of me because there was little girl in it about my age lol. It's still one of the very few movies that scares me. But while I watched these movies, my parents never had the sex talk with me. I think I was flipping through the channels late one night and fell on "Skinemax" as it is so frequently called, for good reason I might add, and from there I knew what sex was. I mean, I *knew* what it was but the mechanics were still a bit of a mystery. Thank goodness for cable!

[{la_resistance}]

Uh.....Yeah.Well, this is awkward but for the most part I figured it out like Bandnerd but then I walked in on some people.....and...uh...mechanics...right.

[CaptainAmerica]

lol