Whole Foods

[mcca7596]

Whole Foods opens October 12!

[SSEiYah]

Thought y'all would enjoy this...Its fairly accurate.


(credit: maxim)


9. The Super-Vegan Hippie Chick



Don't be fooled by the cute smile and the flowery dress; if you even so much as mention going out for a hamburger, she will splatter you with a bucket of cow blood and call you a fascist. Your best bet for hooking up? Hang out near the asparagus and ask her if she's free later to firebomb a lab that tests on rabbits.




8. The Pissed-Off Dad Who Just Wanted One Thing




Picture this: the wife calls just as he's about to leave the office after a long day and pesters him about the kids having finished all the milk on seven bowls of Crunch Berries. There happens to be a Whole Foods close to the interstate, so he runs in quickly, despite never having ventured inside. "Food's food, right?" he thinks. But after perusing the $6 jugs of hormone-free milk and $5 jars of locally produced mustard, he opts to vindictively fart in an aisle and drive the extra two minutes to Wal-Mart.



7. The Scared-of-All-Processed-Foods Mom



This is the natural progression of the super-vegan hippie chick; the mom who's constantly wiping her kid's hands and face down with disinfectant wipes. And sweet Jesus, don't even think of getting close to her baby if you've eaten a PBJ in the last few days...think of the peanut allergies! Mom will blather on for hours about the chemicals or some **** in glass jars of baby food, and you'll pretend to be captivated while stealing glances at those swelling, lactating breasts.



6. The Guy Who's Just There to Check Out Hippie Chicks/Hot Moms



He's easy to spot; just look for the dude with the empty shopping basket who's obviously more interested in aphrodisiac oils than fish oil. Who needs to go to a bar or reduce themselves to online dating when there are plenty of hot chicks of the earthy variety at the organic food shop? Mr. Pickup will also be trying way too hard, as he'll likely be wearing a T-shirt with such panty-dropping phrases as "Just the flax, ma'am" or "BP kills baby pelicans."



5. The Elitist



Pity the poor soul who mentions Wal-Mart or Food Lion in his presence; he'll launch into a tirade about the evils of chain stores like he's reading from a term paper and trying desperately to get a professor to acknowledge his existence. The Elitist is also picky about the organic stores he shops in, frowning upon those who would stoop so low as to shop in a Fresh Market. He's easy to have fun with, though...just buy a fresh cut of salmon and toss it through his open car window while he's shopping.



4. The Guy Who Saw a Movie and/or Read a Book and Thinks He's a Health Expert



Along the same lines as the Elitist, this is the irritating know-it-all who will endlessly quote factoids from Fast Food Nation and Food, Inc. (AKA the book and movie that ruined things that taste good for everyone). Most of the time he gets those facts wrong, but that doesn't stop him from telling you why you're getting cancer or putting the independent American farmer out of business. Of course, he doesn't see the irony in wearing hip shirts made by 6-year-olds in Chinese sweatshops.



3. The Out-of-Place Fat Guy



To his credit, the baked goods are fantastic. Frosting from a can is for the plebeian lard-asses, after all.



2. The Allergic-to-Everything Chick



What's not to love about the slightly off-kilter woman who has to buy everything gluten-free and lactose-free and is likely a hypochondriac? How about the fact that she sneezes and snots all over the salad bar, for one? Or that she'll actually order a wheat grass shake without irony? The funny thing is, she's actually only allergic to the 12 cats living in her apartment.



1. The Stoned Stocker Dude



Five minutes ago he was making an apple bong out of an organic Granny Smith behind the dumpster, now he's restocking the delicata squash and describing in great detail the Widespread show from the weekend before. To no one in particular. Just offer a fist bump as you pass, and you'll be straight.

[kevinpate]

ahhhh, so that's who's been pumping this thread to 62 pages

[Barry Luxton]

n00b settings

[RadicalModerate]

Actually, "Whole Foods" is a wholly-owned subsidiary of "People of Walmart".
Isn't it?

[RadicalModerate]

I read that people are outside the store picketing? any idea what that is about?

Sorry about the "Double Post" on this topic, but . . .

Maybe they are protesting a lack of a opening date?

Lest We Forget:
Back in The Halcyon Daze of Protesting (c.1972) . . . I encountered a picket line outside of the Liquor Mart in Boulder, Colorado, while in the company of the only stand-up comedian/FM radio personality I ever knew personally as we drove away from the location.

Apparently they were a branch of the Viva La Raza/Caesar Chavezarian grape folks reps from the coast protesting something to do with wine.

Bill hollered out the window of the car:
"If you picket . . . it won't heal."

If Whole Foods can bust the local Wine Merchandizing Monopoly/Mafia then I will buy an ear of corn there on my way to Crescent Market.

[oneforone]

At the end of the day Whole Foods is just like any business. There in it to make money. Any business who is not focused on making as much money as possible should not be in business in the first place.

[MustangGT]

At the end of the day Whole Foods is just like any business. There in it to make money. Any business who is not focused on making as much money as possible should not be in business in the first place.

Agreed. I know somebody on the CHK thread that needs to be educated about this simple concept of reality.

I am very happy they are about to open. They are not where I will shop every week, they are not that good, but they do have a lot of herbs, spices and other fresh items that interest me. Their meat counter is no big deal to me I can get as good or better without the long drive.

[MustangGT]

[B][I]If Whole Foods can bust the local Wine Merchandizing Monopoly/Mafia then I will buy an ear of corn there on my way to Crescent Market.

Don't hold your breath. The locals in the beer/wine/liquor industry wrote th book on nastiness to maintain their operation and are very good at it.

[RadicalModerate]

So . . . Maybe d' time is overdue t' wise up and contact one of d' guys out in Jersey t' make 'em an offer they can't refuse? I hear dat dere pretty good fella's and could let 'em know how d' cash cow REALLY "eats cabbage" . . . so t' speak an' t' put a rural midwestern flyover spin on it . . .

[MustangGT]

It might not hurt RM but some of those in the business have nasty friends in NYC and Chicago.

[bluedogok]

It could also have been union people, the UFCW has been going after Whole Foods for years. I have seen them occasionally protesting down here.

[OKC@heart]

I personally do not find Whole Food's stance against the Farm Workers Union to be at odds with their corporate motto, it is a business and Whole Foods obviosuly realizes that the purpose of the unions today is to perpetuate the unions at the expense of the very workers that they were supposed to protect. This is true in all sectors of the economy, where the dictated wages have left the businesses that support them to the point that they can no longer compete with international wages and so off go the jobs along with the factories and plants etc...or the businesses eventually succomb and fail altogether. It is always funny how shocked that individuals can be when they assume that becuase someone has a product that fits with in their ideals and philosophies that they assume that the company must tow that same line and apply it everywhere to its natural apex as they would. Just not the way the world works. As mentioned above, the business is not there to provide all of those great organic goodies if it can't turn a profit.

[Larry OKC]

It was posted previously, but in case someone missed it, here it is again...
http://newsok.com/whole-foods-announ...dline_business

The natural grocer says it will open its Oklahoma City store in the Classen Curve shopping center on Wednesday,
Oct. 12.

[redrunner]

www.livingsocial.com/deals

Living Social deal for Whole Foods. $10 for $20 worth of groceries.

[SSEiYah]

https://livingsocial.com/deals/

[Pete]

[Jersey Boss]

How WH separates you from what is in your wallet. Pretty interesting article.
http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home...ou-shop-fastco

[chuck johnson]

Ron Swanson sums it up best:

http://youtu.be/pz3YzF_yLbE

[shriekingviolet]

How WH separates you from what is in your wallet. Pretty interesting article.
http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home...ou-shop-fastco

Some of the things in this article seemed like a bit of a stretch. Not that I don't think WF and other companies employ plenty of marketing tricks to entice people to spend money (the parts about the ice, misters and produce color are on the money), but I think it's a little silly to paint decisions like placing fresh flowers out front instead of canned goods as some scheme to trick customers. You wouldn't put your laundry hampers and trashcans right in the entry way to your house would you? People are more prone to spend times in places they enjoy, and people tend to enjoy spending time in places they find attractive. That's as true of retail outlets as it is of our homes, work places, eateries and any public space. I don't shop at Target over Walmart because their more attractive spaces have some how convinced me that the paper towels, garbage bags, office supplies, prepackaged foods and toilet paper are somehow better than what I can buy at Walmart. I shop at Target because unlike Walmart, they've designed and (perhaps more importantly) maintained their stores in a way that doesn't have me itching to leave the premises the moment I enter the building. I don't see that as a business being manipulative, I see it as good business practice. Likewise I don't see Whole Foods' chalkboard specials signs and the cardboard boxes designed to look like crates as anything other than an attempt at creating a visually attractive space, which is something I appreciate from any business I frequent. It's not going to convince me that their products are better if I come home and cook with the things I bought and the perceived quality doesn't line up there to what I perceived at the store. But it can keep me in their stores for longer periods of time, which can lead me to buying more things that I didn't come intending to buy. Well designed retail spaces are a win-win situation for both the businesses and the patrons that way.

[foodiefan]

Likewise I don't see Whole Foods' chalkboard specials signs and the cardboard boxes designed to look like crates as anything other than an attempt at creating a visually attractive space, which is something I appreciate from any business I frequent.

Well said!!

[FritterGirl]

Retail psychology, and particularly supermarket psychology, is not exclusive to Whole Foods. The industry has been following psychological constructs of store function and layout for decades. This not only includes product placement, but interior design, lighting, ambient music, "reach" of products within aisles, signage and even in some stores, aromatherapy. It's why dairy, meat and produce (basic necessities) are on the sides or near the back (you have to walk on other aisles to get there), and why end of aisle displays and point of sale displays are always full of stuff attractive to kiddoes (no one wants a cash register temper tantrum).

It's not just WF that wants you to part with your money - it's ALL grocers. And with a profit margin of approximately 1%-2%, they'll use every trick in the book.

Whole Foods just differentiates itself because its overall brand appeals to a higher-end market, therefore, its product displays, etc. appeal more to a monied or "trend following" demographic.

Here are more examples.

[ljbab728]

You're absolutely correct FritterGirl. Nothing is placed in a store like Whole Foods just to make it look pretty. They have given much thought behind the placement of every product in the store to try to maximize profits in every area. While it may not be quite the same thing, I know that Hobby Lobby has a complete layout of a store at their headquarters and give product placement much thought.

[foodiefan]

You're absolutely correct FritterGirl. Nothing is placed in a store like Whole Foods just to make it look pretty. They have given much thought behind the placement of every product in the store to try to maximize profits in every area. While it may not be quite the same thing, I know that Hobby Lobby has a complete layout of a store at their headquarters and give product placement much thought.

I'll take WF's marketing strategies over Wal-Mart's any day!!

[metro]

Here here