Matt's Rant on Air Travel- as a Frequent Flyer: or, Considerate Air Travel for Morons

[PennyQuilts]

I have landed in New York City only to hear all the New Yorkers on the plane start clapping and cheering.

I should think the clapping and cheering would take place at take off! <vbg>

[PennyQuilts]

Flying sucks. It's just the way it is. It has nothing to do with the passengers or consideration. Trust me you're the target of just as many as you targeted.

Don't hate the playa hate the game.

Oh no. I can't believe that. Years ago, it was fun. Now, it is like being trapped in a toaster oven with a four year old whose mother is slamming the door shut to catch a break.

[PennyQuilts]

Airlines should consider childless flight options and charging for carry ons in bins or eliminating them.

Or just put the kids up there. <vbg>

[PennyQuilts]

I disagree there. Why shoudln't one be able to carry on? I often fly to stay overnight. Its ridiculous for me to have to stand in an extra line and pay to check my bag when all I'm carrying is a back pack.

The problem is that even if you have a backpack, many other people haul in a steamer trunk on wheels and insist it is the size of a coffee cup.

[PennyQuilts]

Myth Busters did an episode on cell interferance with aircraft controls and totally busted it, however, they caved to government pressure and called it plausable. There are 2 reasons they don't want you using cell phones in flight. First, it would be crazy inside the plane if 130 people were all on the cell phones and second, all the calls would be free because the plane is flying through the cell towers faster than the billing system can keep up.

If there was even a 1% chance a cell phone could bring down a aircraft they wouldn't be allowed on the plane.

My husband is an accident investigtor and he agrees with what has been written here on the odds of a cell phone bringing down a plane (and also the part about how dangerous they are if they are flying around the cabin in a crash although to be honest, that is the least of my own personal worries if a jetliner is on its way down).

Just the same, if it means people will stay off the dang things, I am all for insisting they will cause the plane to explode. The problem is that there are always yahoos (and trust me, Oklahoma is not the worst - we at least are an area where many of the passengers come from an aviation state) who, upon believing their cell phone won't cause a problem, will insist on their "right" to use the cell phone, no matter what.

[positano]

...all the calls would be free because the plane is flying through the cell towers faster than the billing system can keep up.

Nope. Not unless your airline is flying right on the deck. Try to make a cell phone call at 30,000 feet. If you actually have service, please post the name of your provider, because we're all switching...

And here's one more for Matt's list:

16. By all means, don't let the fact that you know in advance that you're going to have to pass through a metal detector and remove your shoes deter you from wearing every piece of metal jewelry you own, a belt adorned with plenty of "bling", as well as shin-high lace up boots. And don't even consider taking any of that off first - be sure to walk through the detector first so that you can have that genuine look of surprise that you have to go back. Don't mind the rest of us - we love waiting in the rat maze.

[Kerry]

Nope. Not unless your airline is flying right on the deck. Try to make a cell phone call at 30,000 feet. If you actually have service, please post the name of your provider, because we're all switching...

I have Sprint. I have received calls at 30,000 feet because I forgot to turn my phone off (thank goodenss I had the ringer on vibrate). I have also used the internet on my phone while in flight. The next time you fly turn your ringer off but leave the phone on then check to see if you are still getting service in flight. People make calls from airplanes all the time, including on 9/11.

[positano]

I stand corrected! I have AT&T and routinely leave it on when I'm not on a commercial flight and it's nothing but a paperweight above 20,000 or so. Interesting - thanks for the info.

[OUman]

Thanks for some great laughs MattB, your post though really does hit on all the points I've noticed in all my years of flying, I'm in total agreement. I've never worn sandals or shorts when I'm flying, for me it's always a polo shirt and pants, and quick-removable tennis shoes.

I've seen all kinds of people as much I've as I've flown both domestic and international, and while there are people who really do leave their manners at home when they fly and parents who don't know basic parenting (or don't give a you-know-what's what), there are also people who know what to do, they just do it and move on. I've also seen well-behaved kids, but then their parents were also doing their job well from I noticed. There is always a pattern.

[PennyQuilts]

You're right that there are plenty of parents doing a swell job - surely the majority. I often give a nod and a compliment to parents with such "lovely, well behaved children" when I see them at a restaurant and they have things under control. By that, I mean the ones whose kids know how to behave and they do it without the parents screaming hysterically at them. Kids will be kids but you can tell in an instant the ones with sensible parents willing to take the time and effort to teach them how to be a member of society.

Back when I was doing guardian ad litem work, I would frequently go on home visits and some of the houses would be a zoo. A standard question, regardless, is to ask how the parent disciplines their children. The ones with the wildest kids invariably would tell me that they don't need to discipline their kids because the kids don't do anything wrong. Those are the same parents who throw up their hands when the kids get into their teens, start acting out and treat their parents like garbage. The standard line has been, "I don't know what happened! She/he used to be my best friend."

[Thunder]

8. The restrooms have locks on the doors. Use them. I’ve had enough traumas for a lifetime.

What did you see?

[MattB]

Myth Busters did an episode on cell interferance with aircraft controls and totally busted it, however, they caved to government pressure and called it plausable. There are 2 reasons they don't want you using cell phones in flight. First, it would be crazy inside the plane if 130 people were all on the cell phones and second, all the calls would be free because the plane is flying through the cell towers faster than the billing system can keep up.

If there was even a 1% chance a cell phone could bring down a aircraft they wouldn't be allowed on the plane.

A close friend who is a pilot told me that he believes the reason behind the policy is because the cells hit so many towers so fast, with thousands of air travelers in the sky at any given time, it would increase the traffic flow to a rate that is unmanageable for the cell providers.
BTW: Anyone ever turn on your phone on on the plane? It just continually looks for a tower, and becomes useless.

[MattB]

The problem is that even if you have a backpack, many other people haul in a steamer trunk on wheels and insist it is the size of a coffee cup.

Got ya, but I carry a bag that is within regulations.

[MattB]

8. The restrooms have locks on the doors. Use them. I’ve had enough traumas for a lifetime.

What did you see?

Thunder, Pal, I've opened the door to use the restroom no less than three times in my travels and gotten an eye-full of bush or rump. While that may not sound bad to some, it certainly is when the "subject" looks like 180lbs of chewed bubble gum. One of the reasons I remembered to include it here was that I experienced the hind-side of a 70 year old grandma on my trip Monday afternoon! If I didn't need them so much, I'd gouge my eyes out!

[Kerry]

I stand corrected! I have AT&T and routinely leave it on when I'm not on a commercial flight and it's nothing but a paperweight above 20,000 or so. Interesting - thanks for the info.

Honestly, I couldn't swear to the altitude of the airplane. I worked in Monroe, LA for 3 months and was talking to my wife while boarding one of my flights. After the call my phone was having issues turning off and when it finally start powering down I just stuck it my pocket. About 30 minutes into the flight my pocket started vibrating and it was my wife calling. Somehow my phone had either not really powered down or it came back on. Of course I didn't want to answer it so I sent her a text message that I would call her when I got to Atlanta. When I got to Atlanta I called her and she said I had been butt dialing her since we hung up. She could hear the pilot saying he turned the seatbelt light off and even heard the flight attendant ask what I wanted to drink. The calls didn't appear on my useage even though I called her several times.

[Thunder]

Thunder, Pal, I've opened the door to use the restroom no less than three times in my travels and gotten an eye-full of bush or rump. While that may not sound bad to some, it certainly is when the "subject" looks like 180lbs of chewed bubble gum. One of the reasons I remembered to include it here was that I experienced the hind-side of a 70 year old grandma on my trip Monday afternoon! If I didn't need them so much, I'd gouge my eyes out!

You poor soul. :-(

[skyrick]

Can I also add one:

13. Sit in the seat number that is on your boarding ticket. Just because you don't like the middle seat doesn't mean you get to self-upgrade.

WOW! That would really take balls! I've never seen that happen.

[skyrick]

Flying sucks. It's just the way it is. It has nothing to do with the passengers or consideration. Trust me you're the target of just as many as you targeted.

Don't hate the playa hate the game.

I agree. Too bad Amtrak doesn't cover more areas. No taking your shoes and belt off; no getting to the terminal 2 hrs before departure; incredibly more leg, shoulder and headroom than any airline's 1st class section! Walking from car to car without seatbelt warnings.

[MattB]

I agree. Too bad Amtrak doesn't cover more areas. No taking your shoes and belt off; no getting to the terminal 2 hrs before departure; incredibly more leg, shoulder and headroom than any airline's 1st class section! Walking from car to car without seatbelt warnings.

Again I disagree. People should still have consideration for those around them, and we've well-articulated the ways in which that may be done.

[skyrick]

Again I disagree. People should still have consideration for those around them, and we've well-articulated the ways in which that may be done.

Consideration (or lack of such) does not enter into my reason for disliking air travel, though it's appreciated when people exercise it. I, like you, am not built to be stuffed into an ever shrinking aluminum tube (6'3" - 235 lbs). Train travel is infinitely more relaxing, inexpensive and stress free, if you can afford the time.

[MattB]

Consideration (or lack of such) does not enter into my reason for disliking air travel, though it's appreciated when people exercise it. I, like you, am not built to be stuffed into an ever shrinking aluminum tube (6'3" - 235 lbs). Train travel is infinitely more relaxing, inexpensive and stress free, if you can afford the time.

That part of it will never change, since they want to cram as many people into the tin can as possible to increase their profits. However, the rest of it is totally avoidable if people would just have consideration for others.

[PennyQuilts]

I agree. Too bad Amtrak doesn't cover more areas. No taking your shoes and belt off; no getting to the terminal 2 hrs before departure; incredibly more leg, shoulder and headroom than any airline's 1st class section! Walking from car to car without seatbelt warnings.

And the quiet cars! Love those. You don't have to sit and be forced to listen to inane conversation for hours and hours and hours. The talkers will yak for 45 minutes and then hang up and IMMEDIATELY call someone else. Men and women. Just once, if I have to overhear a one sided conversation, I want it to be a doctor talking a medical student through an amputation or something.

[Kerry]

Just once, if I have to overhear a one sided conversation, I want it to be a doctor talking a medical student through an amputation or something.

LOL - I think I will reherse that and try it.

[SkyWestOKC]

I've had to break the rule of not disturbing others with a long "phone call" on a plane while we were delayed for a maintenance issue, I think it had something to do with an avionics stack that wasn't functioning properly.

In fact, it was a long one-sided conversation pretending to talk to a (fellow) aircraft mechanic how to change a fuel boost pump on a CRJ-700. Happened to have a maintenance manual for it on my netbook, and went through it step-by-step.

Reasoning: after sitting on the ground for 10 minutes, the person next to me started talking.....and talking, and talking, talking....would not shut up. 15 more minutes of talking and complaining about the delay she begins to say the aircraft mechanics who were working on our plane must not know what they were doing. This irritated me, so a few more minutes I pretend my phone is buzzing me, I pull out my phone, "Oh, hold on let me take this call." Talked for about a 15 minutes with my netbook open to the maintenance manual talking through the repair procedure step-by-step. Got off the phone and she had heard enough, didn't hear a word from her for the remainder of the delay, or the entire flight. Didn't even try to make eye contact with me. And for those that don't know, I'm an aircraft mechanic (albeit right now unlicensed, still in tech classes for my ratings to sign the paperwork, but I can do the work on aircraft with someone else checking and signing it off) - so it really did make me angry that she thought they didn't know what they were doing. It's a $10,000 investment for training, and 1.5 years of 8 hour class days and thousands of dollars worth of tools. All out of the mechanics pockets -- they take it seriously and did not just walk off the street.

/End rant

[Kerry]

You should have told her one the flangies wasn't working. That is a little 'Friends' reference.