Cut Off!!!!!!!!!!

[Leon]

OK, fellas, what are some good ways to handle it when your wife or SO gets mad at ya and cuts you off as punishment? I'll wait for a few answers then I'll give you one I heard from a minister once...it's deeply rooted in the differences between men and women and most men are oblivious to it. I used it ONCE and never needed to again.

[Curt]

Act like you dont care.. go out with your friends and cry in your beer..

[dirtrider73068]

Yea I would act like I didn't care, or if I was threaten I would just tell her hey I have my hands. She didn't like that one too well and usaully the threat of cutting me off stopped.

[Curt]

Yea I would act like I didn't care, or if I was threaten I would just tell her hey I have my hands. She didn't like that one too well and usaully the threat of cutting me off stopped.

[rxis]

I do what mariner62 does and she gets turns from angry to worried before the night is over. muahahaha

It's probably not too healthy. hmm

[Leon]

Here's what I heard from a minister:..."Physically" is the way a man both expresses and recognises love and attraction. So when a woman cuts off her man she's actually witholding love from him.

Now women express and show their love more on an emotional level. So the appropriate response is for the man to refuse to connect emotionally. That's difficult to do when not angry, but try to.

[elsie]

[/QUOTE]Now women express and show their love more on an emotional level. So the appropriate response is for the man to refuse to connect emotionally. That's difficult to do when not angry, but try to.
[QUOTE]

I can't believe you are telling people to disconnect emotionally from your wife! Are you kidding me?!! Men are already emotionally "unconnected" - so what good would "refusing to connect emotionally" do? Just from a woman's point of view....it's not a good feeling to feel that we are loved only for sex...because If all you men feel like the minister was quoted above

:..."Physically" is the way a man both expresses and recognises love and attraction

...that basically means a man can get that anywhere - and from himself! And, it's not difficult to accomplish that. How does that make a woman feel? Now, a woman needs an emotional attachment - and we know that if a man is willing to talk to us, care about us...then we know he loves us. And you can't get that anywhere. But if a man receives sex from his wife, do you know that she loves you since it's obvious that you can get that just about anywhere (even from yourself - if you want to). But then again, do men care to know that their wives love them as long as they are "getting it" and not having it "cutoff"?

[Karried]

elsie I agree in some ways.. what if we all took a different approach - love and marriage is about giving to the other person - so many relationships fail because we all look out for ourselves instead of sacrificing for the other person.

Here's an idea - for the guys, when the relationship starts to slide and she 'cuts you off' do everything against what you really want to don't go out drinking, give the silent treatment etc...do the opposite, take her out to dinner, help with the kids, run a hot bath (without expecting sex), clean up the kitchen, bring flowers ...just because.... these show your wife that you love her with or without sex.. it opens the door to communication and makes her feel loved for her, not just for sex.

For the women, when you feel like cutting off your man because of his actions, do the opposite... cook his favorite meal, buy some lingerie, leave love notes in his lunch and try to get in a loving mood etc.

The hardest thing about love and committment is acting loving when you don't feel all 'in love' and mushy.. and trust me, that fades in every relationship - we all have highs and lows. But at the very low, is when you need to do everything in your power to honor the other person by giving of yourself. It is amazing what a little kindness and love can do to bring back the spark.

Don't do what you would want done to you - do what you know the other person loves... that's giving 100% in a relationship.

[sweetdaisy]

I think Karried has discovered the "secret" to a good and long-lasting relationship. Thank you for sharing your experiences!

[Leon]

Now women express and show their love more on an emotional level. So the appropriate response is for the man to refuse to connect emotionally. That's difficult to do when not angry, but try to.

I can't believe you are telling people to disconnect emotionally from your wife! Are you kidding me?!! Men are already emotionally "unconnected" - so what good would "refusing to connect emotionally" do? Just from a woman's point of view....it's not a good feeling to feel that we are loved only for sex...because If all you men feel like the minister was quoted above...that basically means a man can get that anywhere - and from himself! And, it's not difficult to accomplish that. How does that make a woman feel? Now, a woman needs an emotional attachment - and we know that if a man is willing to talk to us, care about us...then we know he loves us. And you can't get that anywhere. But if a man receives sex from his wife, do you know that she loves you since it's obvious that you can get that just about anywhere (even from yourself - if you want to). But then again, do men care to know that their wives love them as long as they are "getting it" and not having it "cutoff"?

I have to take exception to this....Frankly men are a lot more connected emotionally than they're given credit for. One indicator: Browse through the posts here in the singles' lounge. There are a hell of a lot more posts in here from emotionally pained men than fron women.

Physical intimacy is a physiological 'need' for men. Cutting them off is actually a cruel thing to do.

[Curt]

Now women express and show their love more on an emotional level. So the appropriate response is for the man to refuse to connect emotionally. That's difficult to do when not angry, but try to.


I have to take exception to this....Frankly men are a lot more connected emotionally than they're given credit for. One indicator: Browse through the posts here in the singles' lounge. There are a hell of a lot more posts in here from emotionally pained men than fron women.

Physical intimacy is a physiological 'need' for men. Cutting them off is actually a cruel thing to do.

You are absolutley right about this leon..the last few women I have been with and in fact the last one I was with broke it off with me just because I wanted the emotional part and she just wanted the sexual part and went to get it elsewhere from a guy who was engaged because she said it was safer with him because there would never be any feelings involved..And those were her exact words..she told me she slept with him so I would get mad at her and not want to see her anymore..most guys I know here want the emotion and most women I know here dont want that attachment because they want to move around and see what else is out there.

[Curt]

And I have to add here I have had so many women tell me they dont need us men because they have their toys..but once in awhile a man is ok...Phtttttttttttttttttt...

[dirtrider73068]

I have done all you mentionewd karried, treat her with the upmost respect gave her room for whatever she wanted to do with it, never smoothered her with things. I did stuff out of unexpected occasion, but still she cheated. What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong? I guess I didn't do it right. As for her doing things for me she always did, buy little things I would see or want, I always attempted to make a return guesture somehow, try and do dishes, she would get mad adn not let me saying she was suppose to get them. What did I do wrong? I was always and have been very kind, loveing forgiveing, thoughtful and the most respectful to her, but she still cheated. What did I do wrong? Me I miss that emotional bond and love and hurts to not have it, cutting a guy off, won't do justice to me, now not giveing me emotional needs I want like touch feel or top cuddle then that would hurt more than being cut off.

Here's an idea - for the guys, when the relationship starts to slide and she 'cuts you off' do everything against what you really want to don't go out drinking, give the silent treatment etc...do the opposite, take her out to dinner, help with the kids, run a hot bath (without expecting sex), clean up the kitchen, bring flowers ...just because.... these show your wife that you love her with or without sex.. it opens the door to communication and makes her feel loved for her, not just for sex.

For the women, when you feel like cutting off your man because of his actions, do the opposite... cook his favorite meal, buy some lingerie, leave love notes in his lunch and try to get in a loving mood etc.

The hardest thing about love and committment is acting loving when you don't feel all 'in love' and mushy.. and trust me, that fades in every relationship - we all have highs and lows. But at the very low, is when you need to do everything in your power to honor the other person by giving of yourself. It is amazing what a little kindness and love can do to bring back the spark.

Don't do what you would want done to you - do what you know the other person loves... that's giving 100% in a relationship.

[Karried]

Dirtrider, she didn't deserve you.. that's all - you didn't do anything wrong...

[Leon]

I can't believe you are telling people to disconnect emotionally from your wife! Are you kidding me?!! Men are already emotionally "unconnected" - so what good would "refusing to connect emotionally" do? Just from a woman's point of view....it's not a good feeling to feel that we are loved only for sex...because If all you men feel like the minister was quoted above...that basically means a man can get that anywhere - and from himself! And, it's not difficult to accomplish that. How does that make a woman feel? Now, a woman needs an emotional attachment - and we know that if a man is willing to talk to us, care about us...then we know he loves us. And you can't get that anywhere. But if a man receives sex from his wife, do you know that she loves you since it's obvious that you can get that just about anywhere (even from yourself - if you want to). But then again, do men care to know that their wives love them as long as they are "getting it" and not having it "cutoff"?

Maybe I should've used better words such as "an equivalent response". Sex between two adults who love each other is sacred...It should not be given or shared with a third party, it should be very open in the bedroom and close-mouthed to those outside the bedroom....And the point I'm trying to make here is that sex should not be used as a 'weapon' or a 'tool' by a woman to 'punish' or 'discipline' or 'manipulate' her man into getting what she wants.

I understand no one's gonna want sex 10 minutes after an argument and that's ok. But sex is a very important part of the foundation of a serious relationship and if she's willing to use it against him then that relationship has some deep-routed problems. Refusing to connect emotionally for the same amount of time may help her realize how cold she's being.

[dirtrider73068]

Maybe I should've used better words such as "an equivalent response". Sex between two adults who love each other is sacred...It should not be given or shared with a third party, it should be very open in the bedroom and close-mouthed to those outside the bedroom....And the point I'm trying to make here is that sex should not be used as a 'weapon' or a 'tool' by a woman to 'punish' or 'discipline' or 'manipulate' her man into getting what she wants.

I understand no one's gonna want sex 10 minutes after an argument and that's ok. But sex is a very important part of the foundation of a serious relationship and if she's willing to use it against him then that relationship has some deep-routed problems. Refusing to connect emotionally for the same amount of time may help her realize how cold she's being.

Thats exactly it, its not the sex that matters its the emotional bond if that is lost, then there is nothing. Like I said want to hurt a guy, like I have been break that emotional bond and love and he will hurt. Every guy has that in him, he has to have that bond just as a woman has to have it.

[Leon]

Thats exactly it, its not the sex that matters its the emotional bond if that is lost, then there is nothing. Like I said want to hurt a guy, like I have been break that emotional bond and love and he will hurt. Every guy has that in him, he has to have that bond just as a woman has to have it.

Amen, Brother! Pride just helps us keep a better lid on it.