Quitting the Singles Scene

[Jay]

After a long time of thinking it over. I have decided that I want to be single for good.


Sex, relationships, marriage, and having children has pretty much lost its appeal to me.


Most of the married people I know are getting divorced.

The people I know with kids are having serious problems with their kids. Not to mention it seems like parents have no say so with their kids and pretty much the kids are in control.


I'ts been six years since I have been with someone and its been a year or so since I met someone that was interesting. So I figured that now is the time to take the leap and make the decision to cut my losses and move on.

I know have had a pretty good life over the past few years of being single and right now I couldn't be happier.

[Karried]

Ha, now is the time that you will probably find the love of your life - when you aren't looking!

But if you are happy - that's great. Many people can never find inner happiness and peace whether in a relationship or not.

[sweetdaisy]

Okla_city 75, I can totally understand your feeling on this issue. Right now the thing I want more than anything are a few good female friends that I can hang out with...I miss that. But a man? I really couldn't care less.

The only thing that is really of any concern to me is that I really want to have a child. However, part of my plan when I decided to move back to OK was I am now closer to my family, and would have support and assistance if I decided to have a child on my own.

It's really hard to look around at folks and see so many in unhappy relationships with both their spouse and their kids. How can anyone be encouraged about a relationship when they're faced with that? It's so unfortunate that people here seem to jump into marriage and kids when they're really young and before they know themselves and their own needs.

Do I really want to be single for good? No, but if that's the way it is, then so be it.

Good for you for being secure and happy with yourself, Okla_city. There are so many folks who can't stand to be alone and I applaud those who have the strength to do so.

[Faith]

I know several people who feel this way. Most of them have been in failed relationships and don't want to be hurt again. Or they are too independent and set in their own ways that it is too difficult to let anyone else involved in their life. Or they are just too judgemental of people that they always find something wrong with someone. But I think deep down alot of them wish to be in a happy relationship and or have children.

I think it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all..... but better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life!

Remember you will miss 100% of the shots you never take in life.

[Leon]

I hope someday love finds me 'cause I can't find love.

[Curt]

Well Oklacity I can understand how you feel..right now I feel the same way but I am also very happy..too old now to start a family and tired of the dating games here anyway..being single really aint bad at all.

[Jay]

First of all thanks to all you for your wisdom.

I am not giving up on love completely, I am just not letting the goal of finding someone be in the active part of my life anymore. I am letting love find me.

I wrote this post just to express a random thought that was crossing my mind last night.

I do not know about the rest of you but, sometimes I come here to say whats on my mind. I like to sometimes bounce my thoughts off on someone else.

Most of the time when I have these random thoughts its the wee hours in the morning. I live alone and I think it would be rude to call someone at 3 AM and say what do you think about ________________. So therefore I come to OKCTalk.

Sure, if I meet someone interesting I am sure I will take the risk and see where it leads.

At the moment though I like the idea of appreciating the things I have and living a happy life.

I can honestly say that if for some reason love never happens for me that I will be just fine and life will still be just as enjoyable.

[Curt]

And thats the best way to look at it..I tried to fight the system for so long and just got discouraged..but I can honestly say this past summer was the first summer I did not chase after love and it was the best summer I had in years because I did my own thing..and it's really no different now..if it finds me or I find it..great..but if it doesnt..oh well life is still good right now.

[sweetdaisy]

We love your random thoughts, OklaCity75. And I agree, it's probably best to not call your pal at 3am to express your disinterest in the dating scene.

I think many of us on here feel the same way...at least I know I do. I know love isn't going to show up at my doorstep, but I'm not interested in the hunt anymore. For now, I'll just keep grinning at the cute boys in the grocery store. LOL!

[Leon]

Grin at me! Where do you shop?

[Jay]

Oh is that you that is doing that? I keep wondering who that bashfully smiling girl is that I keep seeing everywhere.

[sweetdaisy]

Ha! So you've noticed me secretly "stalking" you in the store!

[Dave Cook]

How about a follow up one year later?

Still committed to the cause?

[sweetdaisy]

^ 100% committed, Poke. Got way too much other stuff on my plate to worry with finding a man. Although I have adjusted my thinking about having a child...I can hardly handle a dog with my schedule.

[Dave Cook]

Daisy....

I'm not hitting on you here...and this isn't sucking up but....

By reading your posts over the years, you've always come across as a really intelligent and outgoing person with a great sense of humor. Unless you're intentionally avoiding men....how are you remaining single all this time?

The pickings in OKC must be pretty rough.

[TomGirl]

I know several people who feel this way. Most of them have been in failed relationships and don't want to be hurt again. Or they are too independent and set in their own ways that it is too difficult to let anyone else involved in their life. Or they are just too judgemental of people that they always find something wrong with someone. But I think deep down alot of them wish to be in a happy relationship and or have children.

I think it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all..... but better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life!

Remember you will miss 100% of the shots you never take in life.

Is it possible that....people nit-pick over little things because they really WANT to be single? Society has set the scene, husband, wife, children, white picket fence, his/her SUVs, how many of these people are really happy. I used to worry that I would literally die alone and then I think...I don't want someone slobbering all over me, even on my death bed. I believe that I find things wrong because I want to be single and as soon as some people can realize what they truly want and not rely on the Stepford Society Rule Book, the more at peace people can be with themselves.

[sweetdaisy]

Daisy....

I'm not hitting on you here...and this isn't sucking up but....

By reading your posts over the years, you've always come across as a really intelligent and outgoing person with a great sense of humor. Unless you're intentionally avoiding men....how are you remaining single all this time?

The pickings in OKC must be pretty rough.

Thanks, Poke. I appreciate the compliments.

Fact is, the pickings in OKC ARE pretty rough, so I feel for the gals on here who really want to find a man. It's tough!

As for me, I know that when the time is right, the appropriate fellow will come along. I'm just not worried about it right now. Probably much like you, I don't feel any great urgency to be part of a "couple", and quite honestly, I don't have the time for it either!

I'll also add, I've never been happier than I am right now...and that's an amazing feeling.

[StephiOKC]

Very interesting comments here! I have been talking about the "slim picken's" of men in OKC. I can applaud all you on here for stating your feelings. I can say that I have also come to the conclusion that I will die alone, have no marriage or even decent man to date. I can say it has nothing to do with me being picky. My standards are plain and simple. MUST HAVE HONESTY, INTEGRITY. Capable of monogamy.
Well here I am 35 sucessful and single! I am truly lucky to have a job I love and get paid well to do, I meet alot of people. But just cant meet a good man to save my life!I guess I should not be too upset, you can t have everything you want! As that lesson is the hardest one for me to learn. Times have changed in the world, commitment and happiness with a union of two people is just part of the past. As most of the woman on here are in the same boat.
I am going to live for me and only me! And have one heck of time doing that! WOO HOO!! Toast a glass of wine to being single !

[Tracy]

I'm not really bothered by the idea of not being part of a "couple"... I'd just like to have some fun dates. That's really all I'm looking for right now.

[StephiOKC]

And you know what Tracy, sad when men are so scared of commitment or being a couple that having someone fun to date is too much to handle! Or just too much...

[gbyte]

^^^^^

I wouldn't just lump them all onto the guy's fault by the way (not saying that it's yours either StephiOKC)

I can say that it seems that if you are not fun 95% of the time or just do not have an immediate connetion most women will not even give a guy a second chance anymore. Of course that's mostly from my experiences and seeing a few others out there also.


P.S. Hello to those members that might remember me I guess you can say I'm settled up in Stillwater for a month or two before I find another place to live (this apartment is driving me crazy! hehe)

[Tracy]

gbyte...

It runs the same way with women, except throw in things like being too tall, wearing glasses, not having the right hair color or just not dressing in a certain way.

[allseeingeye]

I've decided to stay single too. I always wanted to eventually get married and have kids but I'm thinking marriage may not be for me. Everyone I know that's gotten married is miserable. I don't like to be told what I can and can't do. If I want to do something, I'm going to do it, not ask for permission. Why do MOST women feel they are given the right to try to control the guy they're with? Its not for me. I'm a very honest guy and have never lied too or cheated on any woman I've been involved with and never will. My refusal to OBEY is the only reason I'm single. Girls just don't seem to be interested in a guy they can't CONTROL. For that reason, I've given up on dating and relationships.

[Dave Cook]

That's the spirit.

Something tells me you'll be single for while considering women just love quitters.