Cheaters?

[Leon]

Who among you would ever consider dating a suspected or known cheater from times past? Why or why not?

[kellekokid]

I did once after learning the guy was living w/ someone. We had gone out without me knowing about the girl at home and once after I did know, but I wouldn't knowingly ever do it again. It just left me with an unhealthy unhappy feeling within and about myself. Life is just too short to purposely make it miserable.

[Patrick]

If I were single, I wouldn't date a past cheater. As far as I'm concerned, once a cheater, always a cheater. People don't change. Unfortunately, many people go into a relationship thinking that they can change the other person. It never happens.

[mranderson]

If it was an understanding that it wqas just an occasional one night stand for casual sex only, then... Yes. I would.

[sweetdaisy]

I do not believe that "once a cheater, always a cheater".

Yes, Patrick, people DO change. People change all the time. Throughout a person's life they are constantly evolving & changing...people grow and mature, find new interests, and develop new attitudes toward things.

The importance of a relationship may become stronger as someone matures and they are not likely to cheat when they find a loving, healthy relationship.

[sweetdaisy]

Oops. Didn't complete answering the question.

If I knew someone had cheated in the past, it wouldn't prevent me from dating them. I would maybe be a little more wary of my feelings toward him at first and let him know it is a concern to me. However, for the reasons I mentioned above, just because he may have been careless with a relationship in the past, that doesn't mean he'll always be careless with his relationships.

[dirtrider73068]

Two words "cheaters suck"

[Leon]

Oops. Didn't complete answering the question.

If I knew someone had cheated in the past, it wouldn't prevent me from dating them. I would maybe be a little more wary of my feelings toward him at first and let him know it is a concern to me. However, for the reasons I mentioned above, just because he may have been careless with a relationship in the past, that doesn't mean he'll always be careless with his relationships.

As I've matured, I've seen all kinds of people in all kinds of situations. I think it would be a help for both people in the new relationship to understand why the infidelity took place. I've known loving people caught in bad relationships, emotionally abusive ones. Men and women both need to feel loved...they must feel loved! I think they need most to feel loved in their hearts, and accepted by their partners for who they are...for what their lives have made them.

Once a cheater, always a cheater? Ehh, I don't agree fully. Sometimes you don't have to be alone to feel lonely. Life can really suck for someone caught in an unloving relationship, causing them to cheat. Loosing their present relationship may actually be an encouragement to cheat. If you put that person in a loving relationship later, they may compare it to the old relationship, see how much better it can be, then the relationship is very treasured and they may never risk loosing it in any way.

If someone cheated just for sex though....walk away.

[Curt]

Who among you would ever consider dating a suspected or known cheater from times past? Why or why not?

I have dated past cheaters, couldnt change them. However I do believe that people can mature and change if they really want to, guess my two just did not want to change. Would I do it again? sure, but I would not give them as many chances as the last two. Used to be strike three and your out, now I would have to say strike one.

[sweetdaisy]

Exactly, mariner! You can't write someone off just b/c they've cheated before...they may feel tons of regret about it and are desperate to change their ways. However, you really can't give someone like that several chances. That is where the line should be drawn. If they mess up and go back to their old ways, then stop the relationship.

[Curt]

Exactly, mariner! You can't write someone off just b/c they've cheated before...they may feel tons of regret about it and are desperate to change their ways. However, you really can't give someone like that several chances. That is where the line should be drawn. If they mess up and go back to their old ways, then stop the relationship.

Thank you.

[kellekokid]

I did once after learning the guy was living w/ someone. We had gone out without me knowing about the girl at home and once after I did know, but I wouldn't knowingly ever do it again. It just left me with an unhealthy unhappy feeling within and about myself. Life is just too short to purposely make it miserable.

I'd like to make an addendum here if I may after reading all the posts about giving a chance to someone that has cheated in their past I would have to agree with you all, give them the chance to grow and mature and go from there. In the instance of my previous post the guy had no problem with what he was doing or going to continue to do, that's where the unhappy feelings were coming from for me. Best to get out early. But for someone who wanted to be respectful and responsible in the relationship then yes I'd give them the chance for that.

[Karried]

I think we all make mistakes especially when we are younger or are in situations such as described above .... it should depend on the situation.


Of course, I still believe it's best to end the relationship before cheating or committing adultery but it's not always black and white. I guess you can't just say 'once a cheater, always a cheater', that's just not always true.

[Dungeon Master]

I try to treat others as I would hope they would treat me.
My ex cheated on me, I forgave her, a couple years later she did it again.
I packed her bags for her. Once, I'm a dumbass, but twice? you are history. No questions asked.
As for me, I never did see anyone (or cheat) during that marriage until after the divorce was complete.
Then I went crazy!

[kahloist]

Once a cheater, always a cheater... at least that's what I've come to experience. If you get together with someone who leaves another to be with you, then what's going to stop them from doing it again?