Are Good Manners Generational?

[Karried]

I don't think manners are generational. Either you were raised to have respect for others, you learn to have it or someone teaches it to you the hard way ...

[mranderson]

I don't think manners are generational. Either you were raised to have respect for others, you learn to have it or someone teaches it to you the hard way ...

That may be true, however, most of the kids today have no manners or respect. The point, however, is I should not be blasted because I will not accept the girls attitude with my concern. Some people would have gone back the next day, however, there WAS no next day. I was on a flight to Sacramento and I needed those glasses while I was there.

[PUGalicious]

No one is forcing anyone to continue this discussion. Those who choose to continue are choosing to continue; they can cease to participate at any time.

What was challenged was what some would argue is skewed sense of responsibility, unreasonable expectations and irrational reasoning. Everyone has the right to shop where they want; however, at the point someone makes it public, they open themselves to comments, observations and criticisms by that same public.

When people find others' comments harsh, unfair, ignorant or prejudiced, they will respond. That's the discussion that's occured in this thread. To quote my grandma, "if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."

[pdjr]

Lack of manners and discipline are ruining our culture. Many of my comtemporaries don't even know proper table manners. As I trudge through life and witness incidents like these, I thank my mom and dad and grandma and grandpa, etc. for the time they took to raise me properly ... after I silently curse about the numerous discipline "incidents' I endured. lol

[Keith]

Lack of manners and discipline are ruining our culture. Many of my comtemporaries don't even know proper table manners. As I trudge through life and witness incidents like these, I thank my mom and dad and grandma and grandpa, etc. for the time they took to raise me properly ... after I silently curse about the numerous discipline "incidents' I endured. lol

I agree with you, wholeheartedly. It is really hard to tell at times if manners are generational or not, because I see bad manners from the young and the old.

Guys are the worst (sorry guys). I was also raised to have good manners, be polite, and be appreciative of things that were done for me. When I go through a crowd, trying to get somewhere, I always say "excuse me," instead of just running someone over. When I go to a restaurant and I am finishing a transaction, I always say, "thank you," because it is the right thing to say. What if the cashier doesn't say "thank you" to me? It's ok, because I did what was right and proper.

"Thank you,"... "please,"....."excuse me,"...."Have a good day,"......"your welcome,"...........

These are all great ways to show good manners.

Guys, take your hat off when you are inside a restaurant........open the door for your lady..........step outside to belch, not at the kitchen table........cussing doesn't make you look big>>it shows lack of intelligence and bad manners......Don't yell over other people just to get someone's attention.......I c o u l d go on and on, but I know there are many others that I am leaving out.

Ok, ladies......I have uncovered some of the guys' bad manners...so what about bad manners that ladies have?

[Karried]

I think this is a great discussion. I spend a lot of time teaching my boys to respect others, open the doors for others, say please and thank you to clerks, waiters and waitresses when asking for items or ordering at a restaurant, using manners with friends, on and on. I try to teach them daily through actions and words.

I have seen many people old and young, rude and impolite. I have seen many people old and young, considerate and polite.

Every generation thinks they were raised better than the younger generation. I haven't found that to be true... sure kids change - sometimes for the worst and what is and isn't accepted every generation gets more complex by the minute.

[mranderson]

When I was a kid, we would never think of addressing adults by their first names unless we were invited to do so. I was so invited three or four times. My dads business partner was Gary, not Mr. Bryant for example. However, I would never think of walking into my friends home and looking at his dad and saying "how 'ya doin' George." It was "how are you Mr. Kilgore." We were taught respect. I see young kids all the time who address me by my first name. I have been known to tell them "you will address me as Mr. Anderson, not ()." If I wanted them to address me by my first name, I would tell them to do so.

We would not challenge the wisdom of our elders. The young people today are very quick to challenge. I have been on this planet a lot longer, therefore I have seen more and have experienced more. Therefore, wisdom comes with age. When you get to the point you are older than me, then you can challenge me. Not until that time. And do not correct me.

Many people will interupt people. That is just flat rude. You want to interupt? Ask permission first. Let me finish. I extend that to you, then I deserve the same.

As Keith said. Excuse yourself. Thank me and I will tell you in my way "you are welcome." Do not TELL me. Ask me and say please. Do not flagelate in my presence, sneeze in my face, blow smoke in m face, or belch loudly in my presence. And yes. Remove your hat before you enter a building.

Yes. there are young people who are VERY polite and people of my generation that are VERY rude, however. it seems to me the younger they are the ruder they become... And I am sick of it.

[PUGalicious]

And then there are some who believe the world revolves around them and that everyone around them should bow to their ego-driven need for recognition and "respect."

Respect is a two-way street. If you look at others (and other generations) with contempt, the same should be expected in return. The saying goes, "Treat others the way you want to be treated." It's not "only treat others with respect after they have first paid proper respect to you."

Another saying goes, "How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

There is no better standard of manners than the Golden Rule.

[Karried]

We would not challenge the wisdom of our elders. The young people today are very quick to challenge. I have been on this planet a lot longer, therefore I have seen more and have experienced more. Therefore, wisdom comes with age. When you get to the point you are older than me, then you can challenge me. Not until that time. And do not correct me.

I hate to say anything since I'm younger than you but I have seen and
met a lot of ignorant people.

It didn't matter if they were 20 or 90 - they were just plain stupid.

So, I have to respectfully disagree that wisdom comes with age. Sometimes, the opposite can happen with people who are older, they become less open minded and accepting.

But manners are important - there is no doubt in my mind about that.

I do think respect has to be earned and given to be recipricated.

[Okcbornandbred]

When I was a kid, we would never think of addressing adults by their first names unless we were invited to do so. I was so invited three or four times. My dads business partner was Gary, not Mr. Bryant for example. However, I would never think of walking into my friends home and looking at his dad and saying "how 'ya doin' George." It was "how are you Mr. Kilgore." We were taught respect. I see young kids all the time who address me by my first name. I have been known to tell them "you will address me as Mr. Anderson, not ()." If I wanted them to address me by my first name, I would tell them to do so.

We would not challenge the wisdom of our elders. The young people today are very quick to challenge. I have been on this planet a lot longer, therefore I have seen more and have experienced more. Therefore, wisdom comes with age. When you get to the point you are older than me, then you can challenge me. Not until that time. And do not correct me.

Many people will interupt people. That is just flat rude. You want to interupt? Ask permission first. Let me finish. I extend that to you, then I deserve the same.

As Keith said. Excuse yourself. Thank me and I will tell you in my way "you are welcome." Do not TELL me. Ask me and say please. Do not flagelate in my presence, sneeze in my face, blow smoke in m face, or belch loudly in my presence. And yes. Remove your hat before you enter a building.

Yes. there are young people who are VERY polite and people of my generation that are VERY rude, however. it seems to me the younger they are the ruder they become... And I am sick of it.

I too have a problem with calling other adults by their first name unless told to do so, but I don't think this is something only young people should practice. My mother doesn't address someone but their first name unless given permission to do so either. I guess it just depends on your own personal communication skills.

I disagree that wisdom comes with age. In my opinion, wisdom comes with life experience. I have known fourty year olds who are just as clueless as an eighteen year old. And it doesn't matter how long you have been on the planet, you can still be wrong. We all make mistakes although some don't like to admit it due to pride. I would rather someone correct me for a mistake rather than continue to present myself in an ignorant manner.

Interrupting is extremely rude. No argument for that.

Yet in my opinion I also find that the older people get the more they feel they are justified to be rude. Years don’t earn respect. Respect earns respect. Do unto others as they do unto you. If you act arrogant, close-minded, or judgmental expect others to heap the same upon you.

[PUGalicious]

I too have a problem with calling other adults by their first name unless told to do so, but I don't think this is something only young people should practice. My mother doesn't address someone but their first name unless given permission to do so either. I guess it just depends on your own personal communication skills.

I disagree that wisdom comes with age. In my opinion, wisdom comes with life experience. I have known fourty year olds who are just as clueless as an eighteen year old. And it doesn't matter how long you have been on the planet, you can still be wrong. We all make mistakes although some don't like to admit it due to pride. I would rather someone correct me for a mistake rather than continue to present myself in an ignorant manner.

Interrupting is extremely rude. No argument for that.

Yet in my opinion I also find that the older people get the more they feel they are justified to be rude. Years don’t earn respect. Respect earns respect. Do unto others as they do unto you. If you act arrogant, close-minded, or judgmental expect others to heap the same upon you.

Well said.

[Shaggy]

I hate to say anything since I'm younger than you but I have seen and
met a lot of ignorant people.

It didn't matter if they were 20 or 90 - they were just plain stupid.

So, I have to respectfully disagree that wisdom comes with age. Sometimes, the opposite can happen with people who are older, they become less open minded and accepting.

But manners are important - there is no doubt in my mind about that.
I do think respect has to be earned and given to be recipricated.

I have to agree with you, Karried. Wisdom does not come with age, because I have also seen many old people that thought they knew everything, opened their mouth, and then made fools of themselves.

Respect? It is earned. The ones that don't get any of my respect are those that are know-it-alls, arrogant, egotistical, and can't accept when they are wrong.

[karlanee]

I'm with Karried. Some of the rudest, crassest people I've encountered are of the "better" generation - those older than me. My children are much more polite and kind and thoughtful that most of the adults I know.

It is NOT generational - it's a matter of personality and the things we are taught. Do we care about others as much as or more than ourselves? Do we think about how our words and actions will affect others? These are the things we must remember. We are not the center of the universe. Regardless of how old we are.

[mranderson]

I'm with Karried. Some of the rudest, crassest people I've encountered are of the "better" generation - those older than me. My children are much more polite and kind and thoughtful that most of the adults I know.

It is NOT generational - it's a matter of personality and the things we are taught. Do we care about others as much as or more than ourselves? Do we think about how our words and actions will affect others? These are the things we must remember. We are not the center of the universe. Regardless of how old we are.

I am not saying your children are not polite, they may be. I have never met them. However, I have yet to see a parent who did not say their kids were the most polite kids on the planet. Saying so while the kid inturpts the conversation, belches, runs through a crowd without saying "excuse me," and calling all the adults by their first names.

When I say generational, I mean parents, for the most part, will not teach their children manners and respect. It is not my job to teach someone elses children how to be polite. It is, however, the parents responsibility to teach them, and my right to expect respect and manners.

By the way. For those who have not been here long. This is why I use Mr. Anderson as my screen name.

[jenbuggie]

As a child I was taught that you address people by whatever they introduce themselves as. "Hi Jen, I'm Mr...", then I would address that person as Mr... But, "Hi Jen, I'm Bob" I would then address that person as Bob. I consider myself very polite (too polite to people who don't deserve it, I think) and I have actually thanked my parents for teaching me manners...don't interrupt, don't chew with your mouth open NO MATTER WHAT, say please and thank you AND you're welcome. When I see kids with no noticealbe manners I think "Geez, these are the kind of people these kids are going to turn out to be."

[sweetdaisy]

I am not saying your children are not polite, they may be. I have never met them. However, I have yet to see a parent who did not say their kids were the most polite kids on the planet. Saying so while the kid inturpts the conversation, belches, runs through a crowd without saying "excuse me," and calling all the adults by their first names.

When I say generational, I mean parents, for the most part, will not teach their children manners and respect. It is not my job to teach someone elses children how to be polite. It is, however, the parents responsibility to teach them, and my right to expect respect and manners.

By the way. For those who have not been here long. This is why I use Mr. Anderson as my screen name.

Mr Anderson, do you have children? If so, did you struggle with getting those free-willed human beings to be on their best behavior at all times without having to beat them within an inch of their lives? And if you did practice that sort of discipline, did you have to always look over your shoulder and worry about some nitwit yelling "child abuse" if you smacked your kid on the bottom for being out of control? I'm just curious. I think it's really easy for people to point fingers when they're only getting a snapshot in time of a person's life.

Another tidbit of wisdom that I've gained in my lifetime is that you must walk a mile in another's shoes before passing judgement.

[mranderson]

I raised my nieces and helped raise some of their children.

I do not believe in spanking a child as there are better ways to disipline (that is another topic). I did it by example. Ie: when my niece would interupt, I would start interupting her. Finally, she got tired of it and asked me why I interupted her all the time. I replied "now you know how it feels, don't you?" To this day, she NEVER interupts anyone.

One does not have to be a parent to judge the bahavior of a child. Plus, I am one that does not "point fingers." I observe.

[sweetdaisy]

I think your interruption technique is a great example and an effective way of teaching a child the importance of allowing someone to complete their thoughts before launching in.

However, I would disagree with your statement that you are not pointing fingers. Your posts are indicating that younger generations don't teach their kids manners, and is a gross generalization that is quite judgemental. Perhaps you didn't intend for your statements to sound that way, and I can appreciate that, however you've passed judgement on a whole generation by indicating they are not as good as those from the "golden" age. There are always going to be "bad seeds" everywhere, but it's disappointing to me to hear that you've concluded a whole generation is lacking b/c they have differing opinions of what children should or shouldn't do.

[mranderson]

"So, I have to respectfully disagree that wisdom comes with age. Sometimes, the opposite can happen with people who are older, they become less open minded and accepting."

Have you heard the fable of the wise old Owl? Think about that, please.

[PUGalicious]

There's a reason it's called a fable.

fa·ble n.

1. A usually short narrative making an edifying or cautionary point and often employing as characters animals that speak and act like humans.
2. A story about legendary persons and exploits.
3. A falsehood; a lie.

[sweetdaisy]

I do not subscribe to the idea that just because you are older you are wiser. I know many older folks who are the most opinionated and ignorant people I've ever met. And it makes me sick.

Those who are open-minded and tolerant to others, now THAT is true wisdom!

[mranderson]

I do not subscribe to the idea that just because you are older you are wiser. I know many older folks who are the most opinionated and ignorant people I've ever met. And it makes me sick.

Those who are open-minded and tolerant to others, now THAT is true wisdom!

Wisdom is from experience. Experience is obtained by age. Hense the fable. It makes excellent reading. There are lessons to be learned by Aesop.

[PUGalicious]

You only gain wisdom if you learn from the experience. Some people don't take as long to learn as others. And there are some who never learn at all.

[PUGalicious]

And there are those who are wise in their own eyes.

[sweetdaisy]

Wisdom is from experience. Experience is obtained by age. Hense the fable. It makes excellent reading. There are lessons to be learned by Aesop.

Experience is gained by experience. There are many younger people who have had more experiences than older folks. I'm sorry, but I will not buy into the fable of "older and wiser". People who think they are wiser than others just because they are older are kidding themselves.

But I would agree that Aesop had many a good lesson.