How to Get a date in OKC?

[Spookytourchick]

I agree %100! I have always said, that if there is a guy out there with enough balls to attempt to get to know me, then he will be worthwhile.


Passive to me is men just not approaching women, and like you stated, there are those who are just predators. Personally when I go out, I look for guys who look like they were dragged there by thier friends lol

[sweetdaisy]

That is too funny, Spooky! Nothing like trying to have a conversation with someone who doesn't want to be there! HA HA HA HA!!!

Hey Spookychick, I know totally off the subject, but do you have a website for your spooky tours? Would love to check it out!

[Spookytourchick]

hahah im serious, I hate "bar guys" they all wear crisp white Ambercromie shirts and spikey hair, they all look like overly trendy robots with no individuality, like leg humping dogs! Step away from the guy in the Amercrombie shirt, jeans and flip flops!


Yeah, here is my website. www.ghouli.com
I just updated the Tour information, and email me if your interested in a "singles" tour.

[sweetdaisy]

I tend to stay away from any guy who wears Abercrombie or flip flops. YUCK. Maybe when I was in college. No pretty boys for me, thanks!!!!

on your website, and I'm already "scared"! ;-)

[Spookytourchick]

hahah why are you scared? Im a skeptic believe it or not. I thrive on past legends and Ghost Stories lol Im writing a book about them, and I will have a chapter in a book that will be released early 2006 "Ghostly Tales of Americas Jails". Its about the Guthrie territorial prison! I love spooky stuff and my kids think im crazy!


Ambercrombie... yeah, not my cup of tea at all. I like guys with mystery to them, but then again, this is Oklahoma, there are not that many mysterious looking guys available. When I say mysterious im not meaning "ninja like" or anything lol Just have a dark and passionate presence to them, aka sex appeal.

[mranderson]

hahah why are you scared? Im a skeptic believe it or not. I thrive on past legends and Ghost Stories lol Im writing a book about them, and I will have a chapter in a book that will be released early 2006 "Ghostly Tales of Americas Jails". Its about the Guthrie territorial prison! I love spooky stuff and my kids think im crazy!


Ambercrombie... yeah, not my cup of tea at all. I like guys with mystery to them, but then again, this is Oklahoma, there are not that many mysterious looking guys available. When I say mysterious im not meaning "ninja like" or anything lol Just have a dark and passionate presence to them, aka sex appeal.

I imagine a lot of us are scared for the following reason. I know that is why I am all but affraid to appraoch. It is called "no." When you have heard that word out of the mouths of women right and left for years, you get so scared it is almost like being like Barney Fife.

[Spookytourchick]

the word "no" gets to you? What kind of women are you approaching?

One of the biggest complaints from me and all of my single female friends is that men approach women who are way out of their league. Its not an offensive statement, its just the truth.
Having confidence is a great thing, but like I stated before the mass majority of men want "maximum mag" type of women, way younger than themselves, if the woman is hanging out with a younger frat boy crowd, there is a %100 chance she is not interested in you, same goes with women.

Physical appearance and being attracted to the way a person looks is totally normal, but in a room full of singles this is whats observed by me and many other single women.

I have a friend that has a great body, bog boobs and she's blonde and she flaunts it. But, bless her heart, she's a total friggin idiot when it comes to life in general and what she wants. She is a bar fly.
We went to the KYIS singles mingle and we MADE her tone down on the way she dresses.... ALL NIGHT long men of EVERY age approached her asking her for her # and practicing the tips they were teaching us. I and another friend we actually enjoying the mingle, smiling and attempting to be sociable with EVERYONE.
Get this, my friend didnt even want to go, she was being rude to the majority of the guys there, because why? They were what we call "the average guy" (which I like) But these average guys *****' do all the work for them and they were oblivious to the couple hundred nice, attractive single "women" at the mingle.
There were a handful of girls like her, mainly because those types do not have the social issues the average person has.
So, those "average" guys were crapped on by her and the other "hot" girls and the others including myself and my friend were totally ignored.

Men are seeking Barbie dolls, then they complain when they get shot down and used. On the other hand, there were about 100 other regular nice, attractive and fun women that were overlooked entirely.

Yeah, I will admit I look at yung hot guys, but I do not approach them at all. I just admire. Its not a low self esteem thing, but the truth is, they are out of my league entirely.

I think men these days are media influenced more than anything. It doesn’t matter to me how old or young the guy is, they are going to overlook the cute girl dancing with her friends having a blast outside of the mean & narcissistic drama queen shakin her money maker for attention.

[mranderson]

It seems like every woman I approach, no matter what she is like, tells me no. I could even go to a street corner and ask a working girl, making a cash offer and she would tell me no. No particular type. It is almost like their is a Mr. Anderson alert sent to every woman on the planet, with an incorrect message that says "loser."

I have taken the exclusive approach of Yahoo and Match.com. On Match, I let them "wink" at me, then I email them. On Yahoo, I am sslowly making headway. I dated two women (one date and three respectively) that are now members of OKC Talk. One active, one not.

Should I limit myself? No. Why do I? I am deathly affraid of the word no. That word has destroyed my self esteem and confidence. I am just now building it back.

Now. How else do I get a date? "set-up's" and singles organizations. I would love to start OKC Talk singles with organized events and speakers. In other words, a support group.

[Spookytourchick]

In the mean time what are you doing to build up your esteem?
I give you kudos for actually approaching women! Perhaps the women here in OKC are so accustomed to losers only approaching them that they have thier gaurd up?

Personally if a woman tells you "no" when you simply ask her to dance, thats RUDE and you should be lucky she said no, because she is not a decent person in the first place.
If any guy asks me to dance, I accept, no matter what he looks like. If they ask me nice, I will dance. Unless I just go there and sat down of course.
On the other hand a friend of mine doesnt like to dance much at all, so she will invite the guy to sit down and chat... and ya know what? most of them dont why is that?

What kinds of places do you go to Mr. Anderson?

[mranderson]

I know 99% of the women like to dance, but frankly, I do not care for it. I have aske women out after talking to them about a pethera of subjects.

I like a variety of restaurants mainly, but it could be anywhere. A mall, an airport, a park, wherever I happen to be.

I do not do these "trendy" places because I am not trendy. I do not do "flip-flops," (I do not even know what a "flip-flop" is except for a reversal) expensive clothing, fashion restaurants, Starbuck's (I think $5.00 for a cup of coffee is a ripoff, plus it all tastes the same), or clubs (except comedy clubs).

I would rather find a nice place that does not cost a lot and is quiet like IHOP or Denny's and on occasion go to a higher end place such as Red Lobster. (I dropped $50.00 there one night and got nothing but dumped two dates later, so that was a waste of money) and a second run theater. For recreation, bowling.

Spookytourchick, I am not sure if that answers your question the way you were wanting an answer. You may also PM me if you want more detailed information.

[Spookytourchick]

Lots of $$ in your post!

[dirtrider73068]

Well this the type of guy I am, I am a average guy, like to drink a beer every so often, like to sit and have a conversation, sit by the fire on a cold night, I do not dress in highly price name brand clothes whats the point in wearing a 100 dollar shirt when I can buy something better and cheaper at walmart adn look just as good. Hell I will even wear hand me downs or get soemthing at a garage sell and be just as happy. I don't like big rowdy partys maybe a get togther with friends hang out drink a few adn enjoy the night is fun enough for me. I like anything can be happy doing anything. I don't aproach women cause I don't know what they are wanting, I get mixed signals. And the looks some women give can get confusing, some smile at you but when asked to talk they ignore and say oh I was just being nice for example I aproach a girl a few years back at a music store and to ask her on a date she said no and wouldn't say why I told her well she smiled alot when I came in here her response was she had to casue it was her job, then others look at you like they are ready to kill like a termanator on a mission. So I stopped trying to talk to women and wait for them to come to me. I like any type of women big small don't matter its how they are in person and how they treat me.

[Spookytourchick]

Next time you in a location and a girl smiles at you and your not in a retail store and she has a name tag on, APPROACH HER. Dont be passive.

[Curt]

Not a solution, this is a question hahaha...


Men are so passive! The one that are aggressive are usually the ones that make me want to grab my kids, my purse and run!

Are Oklahoma men born and raised to be passive aka "shy?"

We are usually passive because you dont know how hard it is for a man to have to ask ten women out before getting one to say yes, we get tired of being shot down all the time, I think women should ask the guys they are interested in for a change. Of all the women I have asked out, just this year alone, I have not had one date, I aint that ugly either, LOL. I am just too nice and show too much respect, and up here that will get you nowhere.

[Spookytourchick]

I love to make eye contact, and they make it back and they never approach or even attempt it. Its even harder for women to step up to the plate, so we are all in the same boat.


Its not easy, Im really working on it, and yeah, being told no stinks, but thats not the person who sees you for who you are. <--- awww *grabs the Rum*

[Curt]

I am what I am, and thats all that I am. (Popeye) 1950 something. By the way, Popeyes nephews were Peepeye, Poopeye, Pupeye, and Pipeye......now you know why I cant find a date, LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sweetdaisy]

Mariner, you are a goob, but you crack me up.

[Curt]

Mariner, you are a goob, but you crack me up.

LOL, thanks, me thinks, hmm. I had to know one day what his nephews names were, see, little things like that bug me until I find out the answers, so I had to look it up. Now, again, who was Carly Simon singing about, but that is another thread, dont want to get off track here.

[Leon]

I've just read about 20 new posts in here since I last logged on.....Lotsa stuff about men approaching women, how difficult it is, why they wont do it more, etc.

I don't think I saw a single post about one of you ladies approaching a man. Be happy in the fact that you don't have to in order to meet somebody. Be happy knowing that you don't have to be half as concerned that a relationship goes bad because another is waiting just around the corner. Men don't have that luxury. If our relationships fail it could be months or years before we get another chance at ANYTHING.

Next time you go out with your female friends, make a pact, for a learning experience....each of you must approach two men and ask to talk or ask for a dance. And remember, you have a much less chance of getting shot down than we do. Imagine only a favorable outcome one out of five times. Imagine getting snickered at as you walk away. It wont take long to get discouraged.

If you don't want to dance with him, then at least dance with the courage it took to ask you.....It's like opening a door for a lady, but being unappreciative, she opens the next door over for herself.

As for passiveness, we're passive because the vast majority of the time we're unsuccessful, even for a simple conversation. Don't blame the passivity on the men, blame it on the 90% of your gender that has shot them down of which 20 percent have done so rudely.

If I go to a club, I DO NOT approach a woman, any woman, not if she's sitting at a table with friends. I know I wont before I get there, I plan not to. I'm not looking for a dance, I'm looking for someone to have lunch with one day the following week. If there's occassion to say hi to one while shooting pool or standing in line for a drink I will....there's seldom rejection there. But I will certainly never ask a woman to dance because if the answer's "no", then 100 people just saw you get shot down. And believe me they're watching and that's humiliating. We're not afraid of the word 'no'. we're afraid of the humiliation that comes with it. Besides, if she's at a table with friends, then at best you're interrupting a conversation to go there. Some say no because they don't want their friends to be left out.

Now, you ladies mentioned, they ask you to dance mainly because they want to get in your pants, us guys have repeatedly told you that's not always true. If you ladies can be strong enough to ask five guys to dance, guess what reputation you will have....."She wants to get laid."

No matter who asks who, the asker will be perceived as a desperate, horny, dog while the askee gets 100% of the power and a very slim chance of looking bad, desperate, or otherwise.

Please, go see how nerve-racking it is.

Now, I'd be happy to meet any of you at Hudson's on 240 for a beer tonight, maximum three beers then call it a night. No phone number, no feeling up, no kissing, just talk an hour and leave. Now, who could say "no" to that?

[osupa05]

Ok.. so here's what happened to me this past weekend. I like to two-step. I currently know very few people who do, and most of my "going-out" friends live in Tulsa. So, in a fit of boredom/courage, I ventured out on the town by myself. Going two-stepping w/o somebody to dance w/ or friends to hang out w/ took a lot of courage for me. So, I went kind of early to avoid walking in alone in the middle of huge crowds, grabbed a drink and sat down at a table. There was hardly anyone around given the early hour. So, I sat and sat and watched people and sat some more. So, I'm thinking I'm just about the only person who came alone, and I didn't think I was ever going to get a dance. Well, the radio station people happened to set up next to me, and they asked me what I was doing there alone, yada, yada, yada. So, being the fun-loving radio personalities that they were, a couple of them decided to give me "pointers". Told me that I should change locations, move around, "get seen". And, if all else fails... ask a guy, myself. Now, I know that there are alot women out there who aren't afraid of asking a man, I however was terrified enough just being there alone... There was no way on God's green earth that I would have sauntered up to a guy to ask him out on the dance floor! Needless to say, I did have some guys approach me eventually... most of them wanting to know why I was alone (please, guys, don't ask a girl that... can't someone just be at a place alone!!). But none of them ever asked me to dance. They would just come up, chat for a little while and then leave. Then a guy finally asked me to dance, and we ended up having so much fun (he didn't get mad when I stepped on his foot!), that now I have somebody with whom to go two-stepping! I guess the point of my ramblings would be to go do the things that you enjoy, even if it means stepping outside of your comfort zone. And hold your head up high when they say "no", because you never know when it's going to be a "yes", and then you'll end up with a friend who enjoys the same things as you... and who knows, maybe something more!

[Leon]

Regular Two-step or Texas two-step? I'm good at the regular but don't care for the Texas.

[Leon]

BTW, Where'd you go?

[osupa05]

Regular Two-step or Texas two-step? I'm good at the regular but don't care for the Texas.

Just plain ole two-step. I'm still working on the texas two-step and really think it would be fun to learn line dances (south side shuffle, etc). I went to Graham's around Reno and Portland?. I had been a couple of times in the past, so I knew what it was like (not quite as daunting as going to a new place alone!).

[travich]

Im with you sweetdaisy!

There is nothing wrong with my appearance at all.Im far from "fat" and I look nice and fun. When I go to bars men are oblivious to me and a couple of my friends. So, we sit and talk and have a good time, we get up and dance & act silly & everything. No "hits", i think its a mix between men being passive and men even the older ones who want 21 year olds in halter tops. Men are too media influenced? I observe people, not watch them, observe them. Thats what I like to do, and this is what I see.

I will admit that I have the occasional 23 year old frat boy hit on me, here is thier "line" how old are you, I slightly tell them then they are all over me. Ummm, im nobody's "sexual teacher and I have no patience with 23 year old frat boys who are looking to "hook up" with an "older" woman.

Like I said, the late 30's to early 40's men who still have some damn life in them (not sucked out by bitter relationships and divorce) are seeking 20 year olds, they all having a mid-life crisis'?

I feel your pain. Every older woman that's good looking that I talk to won't talk to me because I'm younger. They assume I'm immature or irresponsible. Boy are they wrong. I'm working on my MBA and I bought my first house at 19. I guess if they're going to assume the worst in me, I don't want to be with them anyways.

I'm also sick of running into women of any age, that already have three kids. I want kids, but I don't think I'd even know where to begin with someone elses kids. Fun stuff...

[travich]

hahah im serious, I hate "bar guys" they all wear crisp white Ambercromie shirts and spikey hair, they all look like overly trendy robots with no individuality, like leg humping dogs! Step away from the guy in the Amercrombie shirt, jeans and flip flops!


Yeah, here is my website. www.ghouli.com
I just updated the Tour information, and email me if your interested in a "singles" tour.

Tour information? Sounds interesting...

You're my type of woman. I hate those bar guys when I see them in bricktown. I'm a programmer, so I don't have a chance to look like guys that look like Ryan Seacrest. LOL