Dealing with other peoples children

[westsidesooner]

How would you approach a neighbor about their childrens activities?

I don't want to be the old man Jenkins (monster house) on the block but Im a little concerned about the escalation of trouble from some of the kids down the street. I think they are basically good kids and they have lived in the neighborhood several years, unfortunately I've never met their parents. They are about 12-14, both boys, and so far havent done anything illegal that I know of....other than trespassing.

Recently some new kids (older maybe 15-16) have moved into the neighborhood (I dont know where) and have started playing with the kids I mentioned. Since the new kids showed up the neighbors kids have gotten beligerent and cruel. They threatened to kill a neighbors cat, they play ding dong ditch (no crime there I did it myself), and use everyones yards as their playground. One evening I pulled into the driveway after dark and saw someone jump from behind the bushes next to our front porch wearing a swamp suit and carrying an air rifle



It startled me a little...especially the gun part. I've also seen them looking into my office window after dark. The older gentleman that lives next door to us has a beautiful yard and has told them to keep off his lawn to no avail. I'll let him be Jenkins for now. Noone seems to know the parents...we're guessing they rent the home they're in because they've let the lawn go to dirt and theres always junk in their yard. Would an annonomous letter to the parents be in order, a meeting with the parents or a call to the police.

I dont want to escalate things, but I dont think the parents care what their kids do. But I can see them (the kids) getting into more trouble in the future if they continue this path of behavior. If they keep running around playing war games in other peoples yards after dark they could get shot by a scared homeowner.

I dont want to overreact but I try to have a nice lawn and flowerbeds and they keep coming back. Im afraid it will just get worse if the boys are left to roam the streets til 10 or 11 pm every night. Theres alot of summer left. Its sad, if I had kids I'd know everyone and everything that goes on in the neighborhood.....kids know what goes on.

Any suggestions?

[kmf563]

I would start off with an anonymous letter mailed to their house with details of the brats activities. Keep a journal with dates and times of said events. this may sound like a bit much but trust me it isn't. The parents may care more than it shows, they just might be clueless as to what their kids are doing. I've run into a lot of these parents. They mean no harm and care about their kids, they are just a little naive as to what their kids are capable of doing and think they are just "being kids". This could be the end to all your problems by sending a letter. Keep a copy of your letter also. If the problem continues after a couple of weeks, I would send another letter letting them know you plan on taking further necessary action if it doesn't get taken care of (in a non threatening way of course). Then if all of the above fails, you have things to show the cops once you have to call them. It becomes a little bit more of a serious offense rather than just saying "my neighbors kids are awful". If you get another neighbor to help you keep a journal and write letters even better.

[westsidesooner]

Thanks for your feedback KMF. I'll keep track of the lil buggers. I wanted to get the input of some parents before I do anything. I was a kid once not to long ago, and I occasionally got into trouble. Its easy if you hang out with the wrong crowd. I remember that we always gave the grumpy folk more grief than the cool ones. lol

The last thing I want to do is start a neighborhood fued. But I've invested a lot of money in my yard as have my neighbors and I dont want it destroyed by kids having aimless fun. That and Im truly concerned about their safety if they keep running around peoples front and back yards after dark. Calling the police is the very last option. Like I said they havent really done anything hideous yet.....but threatening pets is a step in the wrong direction.

[so1rfan]

Here's what not to do: News from The Associated Press

[Karried]

You are right to be concerned.. these things can escalate and turn very ugly. I've had it happen on our old court and it's not fun.

If it were me, I'd start with a very nice anonymous letter mailed to the parents stating your very valid concern that these youths could get into trouble playing unsupervised after dark, possibly even shot, should someone mistake a toy gun as the real thing. You are very worried about their safety and are not certain that the parents are aware of their unsupervised after hours activities. You just don't want them to get hurt or get into trouble :-)

Also, you might mention 'in the interest of harmony in the neighborhood, could you please instruct the children to be considerate and to please stay on the sidewalk and off of private property due to possible damage to lawns and landscaping'?

The next step I would take is to install motion sensor porch lights and if you can, security cameras.

Last but not least, try to befriend the children if you can... wave, say hi, ask about their day, etc etc... and maybe ask them if they would like to earn money by pulling weeds or walking the dog or watering flowers... anything to give them a sense of community and neighborly pride.

Always better to get them on your side instead of making enemies of these little rascals.. because if their parents don't care, chances are they don't either and you won't have much recourse if they decide to become really mischevious.

[possumfritter]

If it were me...I would be knocking on someone's door for an eye-to-eye conversation. That way I know the parents got the message. It would be friendly of course, but I wouldn't be taking a plate of cookies.

Other than that,...maybe an old fashioned block party/bbq where everybody gets to know one another.

Also, depending on where you live, ask the Police Department to come out for one of those Community/Neighborhood Watch Night-Out meetings.

If all else fails...I'm thinking rock salt :-)

[westsidesooner]

I think I'll pass on the rock salt and blaring porn sounds. lol. I have considered turning on the sprinklers while thay're out there. And as far as I know they never show up at the neighborhood assoc. block parties (we have a lot of them). My only concern with an eye to eye meeting is that if it doesnt go well then it could get ugly. Plus if they take it wrong it might escalate any potentail vandalism towards my home. Sad that it comes to that these days. The whole hate the messenger thing. Thanks for the suggestions though!!!

Always better to get them on your side instead of making enemies of these little rascals.. because if their parents don't care, chances are they don't either and you won't have much recourse if they decide to become really mischevious.

Exactly. I know how Id have reacted to a neighbor that finked on me when I was a kid....it'd be game on. So far no new problems. I'll discuss it with more neighbors and see what we can come up with. I'll keep you informed. Thanks again

[possumfritter]

westsidesooner,

Well, if rock salt and audio porn are out...might I suggest a load of manure be deliverd in their front yard?

[westsidesooner]

Maybe at least then their lawn might grow. lol