You know you're an Oklahoman if:

[Midtowner]

You know you're from Oklahoma if:

1. You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah, and Chickasha.

2. You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are
sissies.

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for
a funnel.

4. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the
highway.

5. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

6. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the
distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

7. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

8. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

9. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

10. You measure distance in minutes.

11. You refer to the capital of Oklahoma as "The City."

12. It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in an
airplane crash.

13. Little smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.

14. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.

15. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

16. You know cow pies are not made of beef.

17. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding
date.

18. You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your
fist.

19. A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a
four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go
first.

20. You know in which state Miam-uh is and in which state Miam-ee is.

21. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in
the same store.

22. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.

23. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is a GT.

24. You know everything goes better with Ranch.

25. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

26. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin" to send them to your
friends.

Finally, you are 100% Oklahoman if you have ever heard this conversation:
"You wanna coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr. Pepper."

[Karried]

You Know You're From California When...The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.

You were born somewhere else.

You know how to eat an artichoke.

The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.

Your car has bullet-proof windows.

Left is right and right is wrong.

Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.

You drive to your neighborhood block party.

Your family tree contains "significant others."

You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.

You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.

More than clothes come out of the closets.

You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.

More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.

Smoking in your office is not optional.

You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.

When you can't schedule a meeting because you must "do lunch."

Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.

Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.

You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.

You consult your horoscope before planning your day.

A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.

All highways into the state say: "no fruits."

All highways out of the state say: "Go back."

The Terminator is your governor

You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH"

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from California.

[Zoedith]

Ammendment to #14. You never wear white to swim in, and you know of lakes you aren't allowed to swim in.

While driving, you have ever had to stop for livestock (goats, cows, etc.) to cross the road.