Condoms

[Rev. Bob]

Since we're on the debate about birth control here, how do you feel about schools handing free condoms out to your children?

Personally, I feel that should be a decision I should make as a parent. I don't think schools should be in the parenting business.

[Midtowner]

I think that schools absolutely should. Rev. Bob, it's attitudes like yours and many "abstinence only" individuals that have Oklahoma as one of the highest teen pregnancy states in the country. Kids need to be educated about safe sex, and if they have safe, protected sex, that sure as heck beats getting pregnant at 14.

[mranderson]

Personally, I am not thrilled with using them because I find them degrading, and they take the purpose of sex away.

With my kids, I would rather teach them when the time is right or wrong to have sex, and do it in a loving manner. If the education is forced or it is demanded they not do something, they will do the opposite our of what you ask.

Education is MUCH better than a condom.

[Midtowner]

Education will not stop a kid from getting pregnant.

Education will not stop your kid from getting HIV.

Parents are not educating their children. This is a societal problem. Education can occur at the home, but in this case, kids need to have all of the resources available, so that if they do make the decision to have sex (and most do), they will have protection measures available.

Obviously, whatever we're doing in Oklahoma isn't working.

There has been study after study that shows that abstinence only programs have little to no effect on preventing kids from choosing to have intercourse.

There is evidence that shows that in schools where condoms are made available to students, there has not been some corresponding increase in sexual activity.

Of course, the overwhelming evidence shows that kids who have good relationships with their parents and have strong moral/religious convictions are the least likely to get pregnant. It of course boils down to parenting, and we know that many parents either do a horrible job, or simply have bad kids.

What helps prevent teen pregnancy?

* The primary reason that teenage girls who have never had intercourse give for abstaining from sex is that having sex would be against their religious or moral values. Other reasons cited include desire to avoid pregnancy, fear of contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD), and not having met the appropriate partner.14 Three of four girls and over half of boys report that girls who have sex do so because their boyfriends want them to.15

* Teenagers who have strong emotional attachments to their parents are much less likely to become sexually active at an early age.16

* Most people say teens should remain abstinent but should have access to contraception. Ninety-four percent of adults in the United States-and 91 percent of teenagers-think it important that school-aged children and teenagers be given a strong message from society that they should abstain from sex until they are out of high school. Seventy-eight percent of adults also think that sexually active teenagers should have access to contraception.17

* Contraceptive use among sexually active teens has increased but remains inconsistent. Three-quarters of teens use some method of contraception (usually a condom) the first time they have sex.18 A sexually active teen who does not use contraception has a 90 percent chance of pregnancy within one year.19

* Parents rate high among many teens as trustworthy and preferred information sources on birth control. One in two teens say they "trust" their parents most for reliable and complete information about birth control, only 12 percent say a friend.20

* Teens who have been raised by both parents (biological or adoptive) from birth, have lower probabilities of having sex than teens who grew up in any other family situation. At age 16, 22 percent of girls from intact families and 44 percent of other girls have had sex at least once.21 Similarly, teens from intact, two-parent families are less likely to give birth in their teens than girls from other family backgrounds.22

From: http://www.teenpregnancy.org/resourc...a/genlfact.asp
(the above is an excellent site on the subject)

Anderson, you are right though, your method would be the best. Unfortunately, I don't think we can expect "the best" out of all parents, probably not even the majority of them.

[Keith]

Since we're on the debate about birth control here, how do you feel about schools handing free condoms out to your children?

Personally, I feel that should be a decision I should make as a parent. I don't think schools should be in the parenting business.

I agree. Schools have no right to pass condoms out. If they pass out condoms to kids, it is just like telling them to go ahead and have sex because everyone else does...just use protection. Abstinence should be the only message given to these kids, and no other alternative. If the parents have raised their children right, then this will be no problem.

Kids have been educated about safe sex too much. They feel that if they use a condom, they are 100% safe. Society says, "have fun, just use protection." Oh yeah, that's REAL education.

[Midtowner]

I agree. Schools have no right to pass condoms out. If they pass out condoms to kids, it is just like telling them to go ahead and have sex because everyone else does...just use protection. Abstinence should be the only message given to these kids, and no other alternative. If the parents have raised their children right, then this will be no problem.

Kids have been educated about safe sex too much. They feel that if they use a condom, they are 100% safe. Society says, "have fun, just use protection." Oh yeah, that's REAL education.

There has never been a link proved by any study (and it's been tried) between passing condoms out and increasing occurances of sexual relations between kids. That statement is false.

[Patrick]

Personally, I don't give any school the right to hand out condoms to my children. My children are minors, and I have all authority over them. By handing out condoms to my children, I feel they're violating my rights as a parent.

[Keith]

There has never been a link proved by any study (and it's been tried) between passing condoms out and increasing occurances of sexual relations between kids. That statement is false.

Whatever!! Call it false if you want, but you are wrong.

[Midtowner]

Whatever!! Call it false if you want, but you are wrong.

Most people say teens should remain abstinent but should have access to contraception. Ninety-four percent of adults in the United States-and 91 percent of teenagers-think it important that school-aged children and teenagers be given a strong message from society that they should abstain from sex until they are out of high school. Seventy-eight percent of adults also think that sexually active teenagers should have access to contraception.17

National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. (2003). With one voice: America's adults and teens sound off about teen pregnancy. Washington, DC: Author.


Contraceptive use among sexually active teens has increased but remains inconsistent. Three-quarters of teens use some method of contraception (usually a condom) the first time they have sex.18 A sexually active teen who does not use contraception has a 90 percent chance of pregnancy within one year.19

Alan Guttmacher Institute. (1994). Sex and America's Teenagers. New York and Washington, DC: Author.


Teaching teens about contraception does not make them have sex. Research is clear on this point: sex education does not increase sexual activity. In fact, in some cases, teaching teens about contraception seems to delay their sexual activity.5 And teaching young people the facts about contraception is not necessarily inconsistent with a strong abstinence message.

Hutchins, J. (2000). The Next Best Thing: Helping Sexually Active Teens Avoid Pregnancy. Washington, DC: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.


Access to contraception is necessary but not sufficient. Restricting sexually active teens from having access to contraception would be a mistake, but simply making contraceptive methods available to teens is not enough to motivate them to protect themselves. Research suggests that making contraceptives available to teens in schools does not increase their sexual activity, but it also doesn't seem to markedly increase sexually active teens' use of contraception either.6

Hutchins, J. (2000). The Next Best Thing: Helping Sexually Active Teens Avoid Pregnancy. Washington, DC: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.


Sorry, it would appear that you are the one who doesn't have his facts straight in this case.

[Patrick]

Actually Midtowner you're right about the facts (I've seen these facts myself in the Peds clinic), but I still don't think it's a violation of my rights as a parent to hand condoms out to my child without receiving my permission or requiring some sort of parental notification.

[Midtowner]

Actually Midtowner you're right about the facts (I've seen these facts myself in the Peds clinic), but I still don't think it's a violation of my rights as a parent to hand condoms out to my child without receiving my permission or requiring some sort of parental notification.

So you'd rather that kids get pregnant?

Children's developing sexual characteristics are something that society pressures many parents to deny and ignore rather than discussing the issues with their children.

I'm confident that Patrick and Keith would raise their children right. However, my girlfriend, mother and aunt are teachers. They are around kids today. I subbed. I grant you, it's not a representative sample, but most kids do not have good relationships with their parents, and most kids are not religious -- I'll admit there are probably no hard facts here, but you'd probably agree with me on that anyhow.

You can educate your children about the contraception, however, if they choose to ignore your advice, or get caught up in the heat of a moment, wouldn't you like them to at least have the option of protection available?

It's an emotional situation for any parent to think about that, I'm sure, but here's one case where I think the kids need to be able to determine things for themselves.

[~~*DarlingDiva*~~]

Well lets see what you all think about this.When my 18 year old was a FRESHMEN a few years back after Football practice one day his Coach gave him and a few other boys a ride home.Wellllllllll to make a long story short he took it upon himself to give each of the boys a few condoms.I was Livid.I think that guys have Varying opinions on their sons having condoms than woman do But I was BENT.I do not think it is the place of the School,Coaches ,Counselours or any school staff person to take on this role without the consent of the Parent.I had talked to several friends about the time this all happened and got alot of"Well you should be happy that he has someone that he can go to about these things."I really dont see it that way.Anyways that is one of my Condom experiences with my son.


DarlingDiva

[Patrick]

Exactly DarlingDiva! That's exactly the point I was trying to make.

[Midtowner]

Well lets see what you all think about this.When my 18 year old was a FRESHMEN a few years back after Football practice one day his Coach gave him and a few other boys a ride home.Wellllllllll to make a long story short he took it upon himself to give each of the boys a few condoms.I was Livid.I think that guys have Varying opinions on their sons having condoms than woman do But I was BENT.I do not think it is the place of the School,Coaches ,Counselours or any school staff person to take on this role without the consent of the Parent.I had talked to several friends about the time this all happened and got alot of"Well you should be happy that he has someone that he can go to about these things."I really dont see it that way.Anyways that is one of my Condom experiences with my son.


DarlingDiva

I can understand your feelings, the fact that you may feel someone usurped your absolute power as a parent, but really, you said it yourself in another thread -- teenage hormones are impossible to dictate to. The best you can do is try to mitigate the damage that they do. Your coach very well may have saved two kids from really putting a damper on their future dreams of college, etc. by having kids at a young age.

[mom2des_n_nate]

My opinion in regards to this is that the school shouldn't just pass them out to everyone however I feel they should have access to them if the do choose to have intercourse. Such as having to go to a counsler or school nurse someone that can give the students the protection but also a little guidance since I know for some parents talking about sex it taboo to them.

[prerunner1982]

my wife got prego at an early age and ever since has wanted to teach sex ed. In our house we arent hush hush about sex and i believe that has alot to do with young teens having sex... If the parents are open about it at an early age then there isnt as much mystery to it. They wont feel the need to go find out what its all about. On the other hand if its not something they can talk freely about then its some what taboo and wrong.. and we know how kids like to do things cause its wrong and makes them feel a "rush". Our daughter is 4.. and she already knows about sex... a bit earlier than we would have liked but she asked and we arent going to lie to her... so figure if we are open about sex now by the time she is 14-16 she will be well educated and not ignorant to the act.

as far as schools handing out condoms i wouldnt be all that excited about it.. making them available is one thing... giving them out is another. Perhaps parents also need to attend a sex ed class on how to educate thier children and be open about it, instead of leaving it up to the schools to do it.

[Patrick]

Maybe instead of handing them out like candy, they could just have them available in the school clinic. That might be a good alternative.

[Midtowner]

Maybe instead of handing them out like candy, they could just have them available in the school clinic. That might be a good alternative.

I always figured vending machines in the bathrooms would be a good approach. We could use the money to further fund sex-ed classes.

[nurfe75]

Once again I feel the need to prove to Rev. Bob and Keith that I do agree with them on certain topics. This is a matter for parents. Not public schools. Sorry to rant again about keeping the government and public sector out of people's private lives, but it is an important theme. It is up to parents to raise their kids and instill in them values and teach them about sex. It is NOT up to the schools.

I do agree with Midtowner that teen pregnancy is caused by parents refusing to discuss these matters with their children. But handing out rubbers in public schools is not the answer. As much as I might disagree with a lot of what the Christian right thinks, they pay as much taxes as the rest of us do. And they have the right to raise their kids however they want without a teacher undoing it and handing their kids condoms.

I would hope, though, that some of them would be more realistic about teenagers having sex. And though this may be off topic, something no one has brought up here is masturbation. If more parents would discuss sexuality with their kids and teach them that masturbation is okay, I think fewer kids would be running around having sex. Growing up in a household where sex is very hush hush and the human body is considered "dirty" pretty much guarantees your child will learn about sex elsewhere.

[flyingcowz]

Being high school age myself, I have experienced this first-hand...my parents waited till let's say..I was about 14 to have the talk with me...I had known about sex for quite awhile before that....you got to understand us kids are not stupid..we know what is going on...some of us depending on how we are raised..will wait until marriage to do the "dirty"....but others are just gonna have sex and I believe that they should be able to have some sort of protection available to them...I don't believe in passing them out to everyone.. but at least keep them in the clinic or something...The key to solving Oklahoma's problem on this issue though, is you parents need to talk to your kids about it and be more involved in their life...it may not solve everything...but I gaurantee it will help...
-Paul

[Jay]

Open communication is the most important part of a parent-child relationship. The problem is some parents encourage bad behavior. The parent-child relationship shouldn't be in the likes of a best friend.



It should be more along the likes of a mentor-apprentice relationship. In other words the parent is there to listen and teach lessons. When mistakes are made corrective actions are taken.



Too many adults allow teens to have privileges without explaining the responsibility that coincides with them.



Having access to a fire extinguisher does not mean you are qualified to be a firefighter.



Giving out condoms is nothing more than giving casual sex the green light. Teenagers need to focus on doing something with their life. There is absolutely no reason in this day and age for a teen to raise a child or to be fighting a sexual disease.

[Midtowner]

Open communication is the most important part of a parent-child relationship. The problem is some parents encourage bad behavior. The parent-child relationship shouldn't be in the likes of a best friend.



It should be more along the likes of a mentor-apprentice relationship. In other words the parent is there to listen and teach lessons. When mistakes are made corrective actions are taken.



Too many adults allow teens to have privileges without explaining the responsibility that coincides with them.



Having access to a fire extinguisher does not mean you are qualified to be a firefighter.



Giving out condoms is nothing more than giving casual sex the green light. Teenagers need to focus on doing something with their life. There is absolutely no reason in this day and age for a teen to raise a child or to be fighting a sexual disease.

That's interesting. But there's also this other thing called "reality" that many of us actually consider when thinking about these things. It's apparent that not all of us do that, but that's cool.

The reality of the situation is that although the parent-child relationship shouldn't be a best buddy type relationship, it often is. Saying that it "shouldn't" be that way is not going to change reality.

Kids also shouldn't be having sex if they can't afford to deal with the potential consequences. However, in the real world that the rest of us live in, ignorant kids have sex every single day without the use of protection because they don't know any better.

Although kids should have goals in life, plans, etc., many in the real world do not. They live for the moment that they are in without giving much thought to what's tommorow. They do this, because in the real world, that's how they were raised or how they are.

I guess that's a common trait with folks who don't think safe sex should be an option for kids, they are living in the land of makebelieve where everything is as it "should" be. Well, this is reality, and things are as they are. Please accept that kids are going to do this no matter what they should or shouldn't do. If we have the ability by making prophylactic devices available, then it's certainly in society's best interest to do all we can to prevent teenagers ruining their lives with pregnancy and STD's.

Say hi to the tooth fairy for me.

[~~*DarlingDiva*~~]

Hmmm Okla75,

What a CAn Of Worms!I agree with Midtowner.I have a 18 year old son and I am sorry It is called reality.Im guessing you do not remember what it was to be a horny teenage boy.Anyways you are really starting something with the wrong person here.I was a Teen Mom.I became a mother at 15 years old I won't get into what I was lacking in my life that I needed attention from a boy att such a young age.But the fact is it happened and I do NOT want that to happen to my son,I want him to be able to have fun and experience life and get his education.By God if that means handing him a condom to be safe ,I will do it!Over and out its not condoning but he is almost 19 he IS a man.

DD

[mranderson]

Okla75:

We live in a world where on nearly every television program, teenagers and adults are having sex, cussing like sailors, killing each other, doing drugs and more. These are shown in even more detail in the movies. So, just like I did when I was a teenager, they find someone and idolize them. Often that idol is not what I would call a proper role model.

As a result, they are brainwashed into thinking sex, drugs (including alcohol and tobacco products) cussing and criminal activity are acceptable.

Personally, I am not thrilled with the use of condoms, because I personally find them degrading and insulting. However, if the right woman asked me, I would probably give in. I also understand a parents concern for the use of them.

The only thing we could do better is to change the way we present life to our youth, and instill healthy, wholesome, respectiable, and proper role models... And teach them proper morals, including the right and wrong time to have sex.

[Midtowner]

Okla75:

We live in a world where on nearly every television program, teenagers and adults are having sex, cussing like sailors, killing each other, doing drugs and more. These are shown in even more detail in the movies. So, just like I did when I was a teenager, they find someone and idolize them. Often that idol is not what I would call a proper role model.

As a result, they are brainwashed into thinking sex, drugs (including alcohol and tobacco products) cussing and criminal activity are acceptable.

Personally, I am not thrilled with the use of condoms, because I personally find them degrading and insulting. However, if the right woman asked me, I would probably give in. I also understand a parents concern for the use of them.

The only thing we could do better is to change the way we present life to our youth, and instill healthy, wholesome, respectiable, and proper role models... And teach them proper morals, including the right and wrong time to have sex.

Are you calling for censorship and government control of the media?

You claim to be a conservative? How can a true conservative agree that we should limit the freedom of the media to portray what it wants on television? How can a true conservative deny individuals the freedom to watch what they want on television?

Television only shows what people want to watch. Sex sells. Many people disagree with you, that's why they get cable with HBO. Now there are those in the government that even want to "clean up" cable.

I'm troubled that there are people that think that turning so much control over the media to the governement is a good idea. It's as troubling as the statistic that 35% of HS Seniors believe that the government should have veto power over stories on our newscasts.

Your degree is in broadcasting, right? You of all people should understand that this is a slippery slope that we don't want to start down.

And seriously.. you think this is a new problem, and you'd attribute it to television? Although I know of at least one academic study (I think it's the only one) that links sexual activity with television watching, it's main premise is easily attacked -- the relationship is easily explained by flipping the cause with the effect (e.g. kids who tend to have sex also watch sex on TV). At this point, it becomes a flimsy arguement at best. As always, I do your research for you. Here's a link to the aforementioned study:

http://pediatrics.aappublications.or...ull/114/3/e280

Your argument that this is some sort of new phenomenon caused by the media also holds no water when exposed to the following statistics:

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/teen_stats.html

These show that in the period from 1972 until 2001 (I'm sure the trend continues til today) the number of teenagers having births, abortions, and miscarriages has dropped almost every single year. almost halving with many age groups. Your argument holds no water when compared to factual data.