Divorce: is it a sin?

[Patrick]

Continuing the trend that was started, what do you guys think about this? Is divorce a sin?

[Rev. Bob]

I think the Bible is pretty clear on this:

Malachi Chapter 2:

15 Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. [a] So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.

16 "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself [b] with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty.

So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.


Matthew 19:

3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

4“Haven't you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] 5and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]? 6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

7“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

8Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”


1 Cointhians 7:

10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

[Jay]

Probably what contributes most to are divorce rate is people rarely get married anymore because they love each other and know each other inside and out. People get married because of an oops situation or just because it sounds like a good idea.

[mranderson]

It depends on why.

If someone says directly or indirectly "This is no fun anymore and I want out," then yes. This is a copout. They are not willing to try.

While dating, he is a gentleman, never breaks wind in front of her, hair perfectly combed, smells great, never hogged the remote, watched her soaps instead of cussing out the opposing team. She looked like Heather Locklear instead of Roseanne Barr, cooked his meals, worshiped him always, called to say I love you at random, put the toilet seat down for him.


THEN! Marriage vow. They both get a bit bossy, he breaks wind and belches while he is unshaven for three days without a shower, all while watching sports with the remote in hand. She is in curlers out of makeup, burns his food, and argues the remote while telling him to put the seat down, take out the garbage and the dog AT THE SAME TIME, calls to tell him to bring home milk from the market.

So, it is no fun anymore. It is now reality. So, divorce city.

If they beat each other while with their affair and booze, then no. A divorce is not sinful.

[Patrick]

I'd probably say divorce is okay for situations involving adultery and abuse (although the Bible doesn't really reference the latter). Otherwise, it's debateable. Even if it's a sin, some marriages are probably better off dissolving in the long run. I know a couple...the guy is a real loser and jerk...I've always thought she'd be better leaving him. He hasn't held down in years, and he refuses to get help with his serious alcohol problem. Actually, the lady finally left him. It was the best thing that ever happened to her. So, in this case divorce was probably the best option.

I think you just have to look at the entire picture.

There's a fine line there between what's an appropriate divorce, and what's not.

As mranderson says though, a marriage shouldn't be dissolved jsut because the couple isn't having "fun" anymore. That's no valid reason to divorce.

[Midtowner]

I think the Bible is pretty clear on this:

Malachi Chapter 2:

15 Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. [a] So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.

16 "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself [b] with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty.

So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.


Matthew 19:

3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

4“Haven't you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] 5and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]? 6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

7“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

8Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”


1 Cointhians 7:

10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

Hey Rev... I'll give you two real-life situations. Both involve Christians who are also my clients.

One has a hubbie who abuses drugs (cocain among them) as well as her. She is a professional, has a good job and a good career. She is a devout Christian and came to us seeking a divorce. Her pastor forbade her to pursue her divorce. Instead, she waited 6 months (at his suggestion) and went back to her abusive husband. I pray that he doesn't kill her.

Another of our clients was in a similar situation. Her pastor told her to get away from her drug abusing husband that beat her and her child (who has some kind of serious illness). She did, but her pastor told her tha she could not divorce her husband, because that would be sinful. She's been in limbo on this divorce now for 3 years. She feels like she can't do it because it's not he will of God.

Is it the will of God that wives whose husbands beat them and their children up, and take financial and physical advantage of them not get divorced? Please clarify this...

[Floating_adrift]

All a part of God's plan. Our little minds could never comprehend His reasons. Just obey.

[El Gato Pollo Loco!!!]

...One has a hubbie who abuses drugs (cocain among them) as well as her. She is a professional, has a good job and a good career. She is a devout Christian and came to us seeking a divorce. Her pastor forbade her to pursue her divorce. Instead, she waited 6 months (at his suggestion) and went back to her abusive husband. I pray that he doesn't kill her.

Another of our clients was in a similar situation. Her pastor told her to get away from her drug abusing husband that beat her and her child (who has some kind of serious illness). She did, but her pastor told her tha she could not divorce her husband, because that would be sinful. She's been in limbo on this divorce now for 3 years. She feels like she can't do it because it's not he will of God...

To be honest, it sounds like these women not only need divorces, but restraining orders as well...

...Is it the will of God that wives whose husbands beat them and their children up, and take financial and physical advantage of them not get divorced? Please clarify this...

And no, it's not God's will that this should happen...

The thing is that people have a sinful nature. We all sin, no matter how "good" we try to be. There are quite a few Christians that I know that have been divorced and have remarried. To be honest, I would have told these ladies that they should get divorced, but to pray about it before finalizing any decision, because ultimately it would have to be their decision.

[Midtowner]

To be honest, it sounds like these women not only need divorces, but restraining orders as well...

And no, it's not God's will that this should happen...

The thing is that people have a sinful nature. We all sin, no matter how "good" we try to be. There are quite a few Christians that I know that have been divorced and have remarried. To be honest, I would have told these ladies that they should get divorced, but to pray about it before finalizing any decision, because ultimately it would have to be their decision.

I wasn't really asking the question. I was just painting the picture of how absolutely idiotic it is to paint this as something that's black and white, wrong or right.

[El Gato Pollo Loco!!!]

Oh sorry...But you are right, it is silly to paint everything black and white....

[Keith]

Is it the will of God that wives whose husbands beat them and their children up, and take financial and physical advantage of them not get divorced? Please clarify this...

Gee, that looks like a question to me..... . I could answer that question, but you would not like my answer.

[Midtowner]

Gee, that looks like a question to me..... . I could answer that question, but you would not like my answer.

Well, it's what they call a "rhetorical question". But if you want to answer it, feel free.

Just FYI:

rhetorical question
n.

A question to which no answer is expected, often used for rhetorical effect.

[Keith]

Gee, now I gotta read your mind to figure out if your being rhetorical or if you really want to know something.

[Midtowner]

Gee, now I gotta read your mind to figure out if your being rhetorical or if you really want to know something.

Are you going to answer the question or inflate your post count?

[El Gato Pollo Loco!!!]

Are you going to answer the question or inflate your post count?

can't I just inflate my post count?

[Keith]

I just want to inflate my post count.

[Rev. Bob]

Is it the will of God that wives whose husbands beat them and their children up, and take financial and physical advantage of them not get divorced? Please clarify this...

The Bible doesn't really go into as much detail on the exceptions as I think it needs to. It only mentions adultery as a valid reason for divorce. But, when I preach on the subject of divorce, I usually include my own advice. I typically include abuse as a valid reason for divorce.

If I were the lady's preacher, I'd personally recommend that she leave the man, get a divorce, and get a restraining order. She shouldn't have to put up with that.

I think pastors that would advise against a divorce are not reading into God's overall purpose behind His statements on divorce. From my interpretation, I'd say the Bible is referring more to the types of divorces mranderson referred to: when a couple decides to get a divorce because the relationship isn't fun anymore, or it isn't satisfying!

I doubt God would have a problem with divorce if a domestic disturbance were involved.

Again, it's one of those issues the Bible really doesn't go in depth on. So you have to read between the lines and use your common sense a little.

Unfortunately, some pastors take the Bible too literally, and miss the overall point the text is trying to make.

[nurfe75]

I find it interesting that those who preach the absolute immorality of something like homosexuality so easily twist the words of the bible when it involves an issue from their own lives.

Guys, the bible is pretty specific that you should not divorce. And if you DO divorce, it is even more specific that you should never remarry unless it is to your original spouse. Furthermore, unlike the views on--say homosexuality, for example--Jesus himself was the one who preached against divorce.

What's good for the goose must be good for the gander, right? Stop being hypocrits.

[mranderson]

I find it interesting that those who preach the absolute immorality of something like homosexuality so easily twist the words of the bible when it involves an issue from their own lives.

Guys, the bible is pretty specific that you should not divorce. And if you DO divorce, it is even more specific that you should never remarry unless it is to your original spouse. Furthermore, unlike the views on--say homosexuality, for example--Jesus himself was the one who preached against divorce.

What's good for the goose must be good for the gander, right? Stop being hypocrits.

So, what you are saying is, if some goon beats his wife so severe, it looks like her face went through a meat grinder, she should not divorce him because divorce is a sin? Then if she does divorce him and wnts to remarry, it should be to him?

[Midtowner]

The Bible doesn't really go into as much detail on the exceptions as I think it needs to. It only mentions adultery as a valid reason for divorce. But, when I preach on the subject of divorce, I usually include my own advice. I typically include abuse as a valid reason for divorce.

If I were the lady's preacher, I'd personally recommend that she leave the man, get a divorce, and get a restraining order. She shouldn't have to put up with that.

I think pastors that would advise against a divorce are not reading into God's overall purpose behind His statements on divorce. From my interpretation, I'd say the Bible is referring more to the types of divorces mranderson referred to: when a couple decides to get a divorce because the relationship isn't fun anymore, or it isn't satisfying!

I doubt God would have a problem with divorce if a domestic disturbance were involved.

Again, it's one of those issues the Bible really doesn't go in depth on. So you have to read between the lines and use your common sense a little.

Unfortunately, some pastors take the Bible too literally, and miss the overall point the text is trying to make.

It seems to me that the entire point of the new testament, if you condense it to its very root meaning, the text simply suggests that we love eachother -- something I've heard referred to as the "Supreme Commandment". I feel like I can confidently face my maker so long as I do that.

I find that fundamentalism ignores the base intent of the NT, and instead favors an almost arbitrary interpretation of the scriptures that is supposed to be more concrete/defined. Falwell and company, many would argue they preach hatred instead of love. I really think they miss the point where the true cause of Christianity is concerned.

Those WWJD bracelets crack me up... but really, it's a pretty good message.

What would Jesus do?

Would Jesus command an abused woman to stay with her abusive husband?

Would Jesus tell gays that they're going to hell for their "lifestyle"?

I think not.

[nurfe75]

No, Mr. Anderson. My point is that the bible is not an absolute, infallible, or perfect guide for how we live our lives. Of course I don't believe a woman should stay married to an abusive husband. I believe divorce is simply a fact of life. Neither moral nor immoral.

My point (since you again missed it, as usual) is that you guys who use the bible to declare homosexuality so "obviously immoral" have no reason to pick and choose what you read from the bible. If you believe the bible is perfect and absolute when you read it to justify your dislike of gays, then you must also understand that it is just as specific about divorce.

If you make certain justifications for divorce that are outside the realm of what the bible clearly says, there is no reason you can't be similarly open minded about a monogomous and loving adult gay relationship.

[Floating_adrift]

Perhaps God put the woman in the abusive situation to test her faith? The story of Job comes to mind.

It's interesting to see how each and every person interprets the word of God in their own manner. And nearly always to their own benefit and convenience. On one hand, certain things are to the letter of the bible, yet on the other hand you need to 'read between the lines' or 'not bother with the details'.

How, if you don't follow to the letter the very book you call the word of God, can you ever call yourselves faithful to Him and His Word?

Why would God leave it to us to read between the lines? We are supposed to be fallible, right? Are our interpretations divined by Him? Possibly. But if that were the case, how could each and every human being divine different interpretations.

I realize you are trying to look at the bible's 'big picture', but what good is the big picture if you rewrite the story as you see fit - or as it fits in todays society? If His word isn't timeless then what is it? Some people (midtowner ) believe the bible has been diluted by man through the ages. Don't you think that today's bible is exactly what God would have wanted us to have? If not, then perhaps He isn't as involved as many people think...

I hope some of you respond, I know this isn't quite on topic, but it seems to pertain to all of the 'is it a sin' topics - or any question about the bible that leads to some 'today's society' interpretation of the bible.

It's fascinating.

[nurfe75]

Okay, floating adrift. I can respect what you're saying. At least you're not one of those hypocrites who uses the bible to justify why he thinks homosexuality is sick, but then ignores what the bible says about his own 3rd marriage.

The problem with this view that the bible is an infallible and perfect guide for our life is that it makes very specific commandments on a LOT of issues even the most fundamentalist of Christians completely ignore. If you believe--hook, line, and sinker--every word of what the bible preaches, then you MUST believe the following:

1) Anyone who curses his father should be put do death
2) A woman should not speak in church; she should be kept silent.
3) A woman should not show the glory of her hair to anyone but her husband (that means woman should keep their hair covered when they're outside their homes).
4) You can't eat pork.
5) You can't wear clothes made of mixed fabric.
6) When a woman is menstruating, she should leave the city while "she is in her sickness."
7) Slavery is okay.

I could go on and on. Half of this stuff is even in the NEW Testament. There is no such thing as a true fundamentalist. We all pick and choose what applies to our lives and what doesn't. Time to face up to it.

[nurfe75]

The answer to your question "why would God leave us to read between the lines?" is very simple. God gave us a free will. He also put all of us on different paths in life. He also commanded us to not judge the spec in our brother's eye when we have a plank in our own. We all have an inner light within us which connects us to the divine creator. It is no one's place to judge the relationship I have with my God.

[Floating_adrift]

Exactly why I 'currently' see religion - all religion - as a man made construct. I like to study it, more for the sociological aspect, but also in the hopes that one day I could possibly believe in it myself. I don't 'not' believe in it is the best way I can describe my take on it. My family says that my view on it and willingness to discuss it with an open mind is due to the fact that God has a plan for me and that I'm here to bring up valid points to get people to think more critically about their faith - as it pertains to my discussions with my family as it were. I respect everyone for their faith and I'm always interested in talking with others about it.