Skiing and snow caves in Texas
Bearfire Resort
Joni Mitchell nailed it in Big Yellow Taxi: "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'till its gone." at which point you just have to fake it. As out of place as a water park in Phoenix, they are going to build, in Texas, "a winter wonderland like no other. Situated on a 250 foot tall 35 acre landscaped man-made mountain structure, Glacier Peak will keep you busy for days with over a mile of multiple expert and intermediate ski runs and jumps." Somehow, Utilizing [an unexplained] environmental friendly technology, Glacier Peak will envelope you in an atmosphere that is 15 to 20 degrees cooler than the surrounding area."
But wait, there's more!
There are caverns filled with real snow. "Deep within the Snowball Caverns beneath Glacier Peak, guests can experience real snow play in the largest indoor snow experience of its kind anywhere in the world. Once you are inside the Bearfire Snowball Caverns, you can completely ignore the rising mercury level outdoors.
The snow remains frozen throughout the year and you can even experience snowfall here. Ice caves and gulleys can be used by children for sledding and sliding. Bundle up and experience Snowball Caverns."
"The Glacier Wall is a masterpiece of geometric design, a rare place where the first-time climber can work out moves side-by-side with an expert in a friendly, non-competitive atmosphere. All climbers are safely roped to a state-of-the-art belay system. Surface varieties range from steep slabs to huge overhangs, from easy verticals to obtuse stemming walls, as well as two caves for the ultimate in endurance training and power."
Now we like our snowboard as much as anyone else, but making snow and ice for the caves takes a lot of energy, and Texas is coal-fired. And an alpine village? This is just about the stupidest thing to come out of Texas since, well, never mind.
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