This all reminds me of that old Jay Leno routine before he became famous . . .
(with apologies for the inaccurate paraphrase) . . .

"What's with these new cars today? They aren't anything like those old roadbarges with the solid steel dashboards and no seatbelts . . . You could have a major head-on collision in one of those, hose it out, scrape the Hundais and Kias out from under the wheel wells and resell it for more than you paid for it . . . The only airbags involved might have been your Father-in-Law in the back seat waxing all nostalgic about the lack of spokes on the wheels . . ."

(new cars are better . . . in too many ways to count)