In this country, there are many reasons why anyone is poor. Some are good reasons, some bad, some can be avoided, others can’t. But people in this country become or remain poor along a number of different paths. Pretending that one size fits all is irresponsible when money is in such short supply.

There is little resemblance among the following common situations:

A young man with Down’s Syndrome whose elderly parents on a fixed income can scarcely afford to keep a roof over his head.

A guy with a criminal record who can’t or won’t work but continues to scatter babies with multiple women across the state.

A family whose main bread winner was hurt in an unavoidable accident.

A drug user who spends what money she has on her habit, including money she receives in child support or from her parents. She can’t keep a job because she won’t get up and go to work in the morning.

A single mother of three who never had the good sense to pick a man who would be there to help her raise her children but kept picking losers and having kids, anyway.

A middle aged or older woman whose husband abandoned for a sweet young thang - and hid his assets before she knew what hit her.

A young man with significant MS.

A couple whose child is severely brain damaged due to being born prematurely.

Someone who is mentally ill and hears voices and is too ill to think about taking his medication.

Someone who is so obnoxious and has such a piss poor work ethic that they can’t hold a job.

Someone with no job skills or education.

I could go on.

My job for a number of years has been to advocate for children and assist in finding funding for them and their families. Not so long ago, money seemed to grow on trees. In Virginia, the housing market was booming and the county and state coffers were fat from tax revenue. Now that we are in a bust, the money is gone. Just gone. We have our county homes shutting down, staff in the social services agencies is not being replaced and they are being laid off, to boot. We have next to no services available for our troubled kids and they are looking to cut back on Medicaid funding – which has been the bread and butter to obtain funding for low income families. Official unemployment hasn’t hit here as badly as in some areas but the illegal immigrant workers lost jobs when the housing boom ended. Our schools and social service agencies had been inflated to provide services for these families and now they are overextended with no tax base to support them.

In times like this when decisions have to be made, we need to be good stewards and make sure the deserving and needy get first dibs. This is exactly why I stamp and scream and complain about deadbeats. They take money out of the mouths of the ones who really need it. It is NOT a one size fits all. If someone can work, or be sensible about having a family they can support, or show better sense in selecting a partner, we will be better able to assist the ones who are in situations that they have no control over and didn’t choose.

The public shouldn’t just write a check and point fingers at those who raise an eyebrow. There is nothing wrong with pointing out where money is wasted, especially when it means that the deserving are likely to go without. And in this economy, they will go without.

I confess that I am nearly frantic that so many of my kids have nowhere to go because the group homes and residential facilities are shutting down. They are in families that don’t send them to school, or they abuse them, or they neglect them and all I can do is ask them to stay in those homes with few services, or ask the court to put them in foster care. And we don’t have many foster care families. And if the kids have committed crimes in this economy, they certainly aren’t going into foster care – it is straight to the juvenile justice system.

When there is no money for intervention, young girls running the street with a mother who sleeps with whomever will come home with her from the bar gets no protection. None. The abuse that frequently takes place is never reported. The fact that she is throwing away her education is ignored. She becomes infested with STDs. She gets pregnant before she needs to be and has several babies, several abortions, or a combination of both by age 20. That is not because no one cares but because without abuse or neglect (that reaches a legal definition) she isn’t eligible for foster care or services in these times. And there isn’t much money for it, anyway. Used to be, when there was money, you could frequently talk the parent into accepting services voluntarily if they didn’t have to pay for them. No more. Most often, Susie Q’s future is shot. And these aren’t even the “bad” cases.

When I complain about jerks who sit on their butts and get benefits it is not from a lack of compassion. It is because I know they are taking money away from kids like Susie Q. Of course, the Mothers of Susie Q don’t deserve squat. And before too long, Susie Q becomes one of those mothers, herself.

Sigh. Just what is on my heart this morning.