<<I won't be controlled and I don't want to control her. If everyone at work is going out for a drink after work and I want to go, I'm going to call and tell her where I'm going, not ask if I can go!!! If she wants to come along, GREAT, meet me there. But she's not going to tell me I can't go. If I have even the slightest feeling that she wants to be controlling, I'm gone.>>

I can't even relate to this attitude. If someone has that sort of attitude towards the woman, why be there in the first place? I can't imagine being so hostile to my mate. I'd say you'd be better off gone - you aren't in a good situation to begin with.