<<This was exactly my parents' approach, and I intend to raise my children in the same manner.

That being said, I would never offer alcohol to any other child without their parents' express permission.>>

As teenagers, my kids also learned to drink responsively at the dinner table. By that, a small glass of wine. I'm not talking about giving them a beer and letting them go watch the game with dad. In fact, they didn't get canned beer (at home) until they turned 18.

If they drank away from home, they did it without my permission. Did they sneak? I wouldn't be surprised but that doesn't mean I give them permission. Slinking around because you know you aren't doing right is a time honored teenager tradition. Capitulating as a parent leaves the young idiots adrift and, really, what do you gain? If indeed they are going to sneak, at least let them have the voice of reason to return to after they wise up. "I should have listened to my dad/mom" is the refrain of the maturing adult. "Let's party with dad!" is just icky. There is no place to go from there.

The kids went to a Christian college and used to shake their heads at the kids who, after getting out from under their parents' thumbs ran wild. Demystifying drinking seemed to make sense to me but obviously you can't do this if you have a parent who is a raging drunk or a mean one. The whole thing is that you are trying to model sensible, responsible behavior and take away the forbidden aspects of it to the extent you can.

And giving alcohol to someone else's child is insane for all the obvious reasons. Moreover, you don't know if they are on some medication, have a family history of substance abuse, have health problems, etc.