OK.....So she has kids.....

[Leon]

Ladies, upset 'cause he learns you have kids and moves on?

Unload in this thread, and yes, this IS going somewhere.

[TomGirl]

Oh, yeh, I've had that happen. Not really sure if it was the fact that I had a daughter, but he started to vanish the day I told him.

I have a friend and we talk alot about dating and he said it makes him feel like an outsider in the relationship, no matter how hard he tries to fit in. He would never have any say in any of the raising of the children, but would be expected to help support the children.

I can kinda understand...my child is my blood and may get away with more. I don't think I would care for someone coming into my life and trying to change how I raise my child and if your not on the same page with your partner on the raising thing, there will always be something done that oversteps how you would do it. At the same time, if your living with someone and sharing a household, you expect your partner to help with the expenses. This can't be very appealing to the stereo-typical man that believes he needs to have control in any way. The only man the is good for this type of situation is a man that has an incredible amount of patience and understanding and realizes that the position of "the new 24/7 father" takes alot longer than your typical job interview and just like working for a certain company where you can't exactly do whatever you want to do, this is about the same thing.

As an added bonus, you have the real father that is sometimes in the picture.....fun.

[Leon]

I have a friend and we talk alot about dating and he said it makes him feel like an outsider in the relationship, no matter how hard he tries to fit in. He would never have any say in any of the raising of the children, but would be expected to help support the children.

Well ya can't fault a mother for putting her kids first...She should. But your friend makes a good point.

I've debated this a little in my own mind....I was expecting that at my age my next SO would probably have kids. I certainly wouldn't rule out a woman simply because she has a child, that should be expected...So I figured I'd just be ready for that and make a point to be accomodating.

But just so you ladies know, the same thing happens in the opposite direction. There are plenty of women who don't want to be bothered with another persons kids. It's not heard of as much; I assume because men typically do not have custody and women are, in my opinion, more accepting of others, but it does happen.

We just all need to recognize that it take a very strong man or woman to deal with that. So give 'em credit.