Please feel free to add clichés, as you deem appropriate. =)

Impressions of The Perfect Graduation/Commencement Speech
for The Perfect Valedictorian of The Future
(c/o The Observations of my SweetWife, Amended, c. 2014)
(Beta Version) (for Future SmartPhone App)

We are gathered here, Today, in this place, in time and space, for a very good reason.
Even if we aren't exactly sure what that reason is.
Or why the parking has to be so inconvenient.
The fact remains that we are all here, right now, in this Hallowed Sports Arena.

An “agora” if you will, now devoted to Hockey, instead of some other sport.
A Pipeline to the NHL that has been transformed
Into a Celebratory Venue for the Survivors of Grades K-12 in the Public School System.
And in Honor and Recognition of the Commencement of what follows after that there.

We are not certain of the long term future. We are certainly not even certain of our short term goals.
Nor even certain of the limits of the realms of possibility wherein even the short term future goals exist.
Our immediate goal, following these "Commencement Exercises”
Is to attempt a visit to The Iguana Bar and Grille when all of this is over.

When I overlook this Assembly, of administrators, teachers, fellow students and parents
I realize that we are all Clueless regardless of Race, Creed, Color and Skills.
We are like the eggs, realized, of the Salmon swimming upstream
Against the natural and human-made barriers to our Existence and to our Success.

Some of us will make it, Some of us will not.
So, here we all are, standing and/or sitting, still Clueless, together,
At the door of a great big metaphorical (or is that allegorical?) thing called Life.
The takeaway from all this might be: Be Kind and Watch out for Bears.

(and don’t request a “G & T” or “papas” at The Iguana Mexican Grille. =)