Another topic for discussion....

**Leon** · 07-18-2005, 08:58 PM

Where is the line drawn between on outing with a friend and a date?
Is it at where he/she is the opposite sex?.....Whether either hopes for something more?....A kiss at the end?....One of you is already involved elsewhere?....Married?....Where?

I'd just want a few female friends right now....afraid to invite them 'cause they may be looking for more.

**Faith** · 07-19-2005, 09:49 AM

It should be a date if both people agree and possibly could want more than friends. If I didn't want anymore than a friendship but I felt like he might want something more then I don't think I would go. I would let him know up front that I wasn't looking for anything other than a friendship. I don't want to go out with someone who wants something more than me. It would make me feel to uncomfortable.

**mranderson** · 07-19-2005, 10:09 AM

I am currently seeing a woman that I am not sure of my feelings. I know I like her very much, but I am not sure if it will build to romantic. I think she may be the same way. So, here is the way I am handleing our outings.

If it feels like a date, it is. There are days we have gone to dinner or met at her house and had dinner, and it just felt like a couple of friends enjoying each other. In fact, to be personal about it, the last two times we saw each other, it was not a kiss. Just a hug. Maybe that is a good thing. It forces slow movement.

**Leon** · 07-19-2005, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by okcgoddess

It should be a date if both people agree and possibly could want more than friends. If I didn't want anymore than a friendship but I felt like he might want something more then I don't think I would go. I would let him know up front that I wasn't looking for anything other than a friendship. I don't want to go out with someone who wants something more than me. It would make me feel to uncomfortable.

Good point.....You've all made some good points. Once LLOONNGG ago in high school, I walked a girl to her bus one afternoon, I was going right past it to get to my car anyway. At the door to the bus, she faced me, closed her eyes, and puckered up. Very awkward. We were good friends up to that point. I wasn't attracted to her otherwise. Do I kiss her and allow the other studenst to believe something more is there or do I not and allow her to be humiliated in front of all those other students. Decide now!! I ignored her, pretended I didn't notice. End of a good friendship. Still bothers me today.

**sweetdaisy** · 07-19-2005, 11:49 AM

I think it depends on how/what the person asks.

Example: If a man says "hey, you wanna grab something to eat?", then it's friends. If he says "would you like to go out to dinner with me tonite?", it's a date.

When in doubt, I ask him. (uhh, is this a date?) Yeah, I'm a smooth one.

**dirtrider73068** · 07-21-2005, 06:36 PM

Originally Posted by Leon

I'd just want a few female friends right now....afraid to invite them 'cause they may be looking for more.

Ditto,
Have been on this quest for the past year to no luck.

**windowphobe** · 07-21-2005, 09:11 PM

I found this on a LiveJournal three years ago and posted it to my own site:

It's a simple definition of what constitutes a genuine date and how to distinguish it from two friends of the opposite sex hanging together. It's a date if both the man and woman have the genuine desire at some point to see the other naked. Doesn't mean a date has to end in sex or whatever that night. But both the man and woman use the dating process as a way of getting to know each other, get comfy, so eventually they can show each other their nipples.

And I need to remind you that both parties have to have nudity as an eventual end goal. I hang out with a lot of women I want to see naked but that doesn't make it a date.

Not the most elegant definition, perhaps, but it works for me.

My original post:
http://www.dustbury.com/archives/000047.html

**Leon** · 07-21-2005, 10:12 PM

So, if she wants to see ma naked it's a date?

'Cause, come on, once you've seen one woman naked.....you wanna see 'em all.

kschopfer · 08-03-2005, 07:54 PM

A date is a date.......Intimacy changes the occasion obviously. To me when you go on a date you go out somewhere.Guess I'm old fashioned.

It doesn't mean a date shouldn't turn into sex...
When you hot for someone you are.

Yeah, if you want to hang out and you know someone well enough then it turns into sex. Hopefully the relationship has moved to that level. Simple as that.

But if you are best friends or you are only and strickly friends then you need to be straight w/ each other and know that is just a date.
I think it is great to be friends first before you get into a relationship.
But sometimes friends need to remain friends. Cause theres no goin back once you've crossed that threshold. You can rarely ever again.