Non-Custodial Parents

[jacodenn]

I am very interested in contacting Non-Custodial Parents and hearing your stories. I would like to know how your life has changed since divorce and what kind of problems you may be having with exercising your rights to be with your children. Custodial Parents are also welcome to share.

[jacodenn]

From Midtowner..."So as an advocate for NCP rights, what are the specific things you tend to advocate? In other words, from your perspective, what do you think is currently broken in our system?

I'm actually pretty interested in what you have to say. I'm currently a law student, and I plan to practice family law when I finish school."

Let me start by saying if I could do it over again (college), I would go into Family Law...as a Mediator.

There is one area of the law that seems to be lacking...enforcing the non-custodial parents right to "visitation" with their child(ren). Yes, there are avenues within the Court to file motions to Enforce Visitation. But guess what, in most cases the Custodial Parent (CP) will still interfere or deny those rights to the other parent. The law needs to include punitive measures...jail time. In my situation my ex-spouse is a client of DHS, and their policy concerning visitation is "hands off." They don't want to get involved in that matter. But miss a Child Support Payment, and DHS is all over you.

More later...

[Midtowner]

I would argue that courts should have the authority to set the terms for, or completely cut off visitation when the courts determine that visitation on the NCP's terms is not in the best interest of the child.

How would you respond to that?

[jacodenn]

In cases where the perponderance of factual evidence would support such a decision, I would not argue against such decisions. Too often, a CP will distort and even fabricate "facts" that are later found to be unsubstantiated. This is particularly true when the CP may be guilty of parental alienation or suffering from malicious mother syndrome. And it seems that Courts will do nothing more than admonish the CP for such behavior.

[Midtowner]

In cases where the perponderance of factual evidence would support such a decision, I would not argue against such decisions. Too often, a CP will distort and even fabricate "facts" that are later found to be unsubstantiated. This is particularly true when the CP may be guilty of parental alienation or suffering from malicious mother syndrome. And it seems that Courts will do nothing more than admonish the CP for such behavior.

What you're saying here is that a court made a finding. The basis of your lawsuit would be something a court did.

That courts "do nothing" about perjury is just a generalized statement. MMS or parental alienation are things which the courts are already pretty well equipped to deal with.

It's hard for me to discuss in any more detail without having the appearance of giving legal advice, so I'm just going to leave it at that.

[jacodenn]

Midtowner...yes, I agree, it was a pretty generalized statement. It is supported however by the endless accounts one can find throughout the web.

And that is the purpose of this Thread, to get people to share their stories.

Thanks for your inputs.

[jacodenn]

This is what the Oklahoma Department of Human Services thinks of non-custodial parent's rights...YouTube - 6 Year Old Son Held Hostage By Mother

[PennyQuilts]

That flyer is just drama queen, ridiculous. Just what is that supposed to accomplish? Can you imagine how his child would feel if he saw that flyer? Anyone inspired to print out something like this and distribute it to strangers needs counseling.

If it is just a ploy to draw attention to noncustodial parents' rights, I think it is off the mark. If I got something like that, I'd be worried that a lunatic was out there and say a prayer of thanks that the child was not in his custody...

The flyer is just in bad taste and over the top. It is also weird. Parenthood and weirdness is not a comfortable combination.

That's all I'm saying.

[jacodenn]

East Coast Okie...Very few successes in life are rarely attainable without some risk or sacrifice.

When a child, or anyone for that matter, is reported "missing," one of the very first steps a loved one takes is to post a "Missing Person" flyer/hand-out/poster all throughout the community.

Although my Son is not missing, his birth mother has interfered with and/or denied my Son's right to be with me and I with him.

My flyer serves the same purpose as the one that might be distributed by a grieving parent that is so desperately trying to find their missing child.

As far as I am concerned, this is an all too common occurrence for many NCP's, and just as there is a public outcry against parents that do not provide child support for their child(ren), there is an even greater outcry coming from our children asking..."why can't I be with my dad/mom?"

Can you hear their voices?