Spouse reaction to OKC....

[Dave Cook]

Just curious if anyone here has a husband/wife that is not from OKC. How did they react after moving to OKC...good or bad? Would be curious on getting some feedback.

My fiance and I are discussing now where to live for the long haul. She has never been to OKC but grew up in Indianapolis. I told her Indy is very similar to OKC...which I think it is. I'm sure she'll like OKC but a friend of mine married a girl from Cali and she hates being in Oklahoma.

We're living in Tokyo at the moment....and have narrowed out choices down to a) Yokohama...b) Kobe...or c) OKC. I'd obviously prefer OKC but depends on job situation and other factors.

Anyway...thanks.

[Karried]

We moved to OK from California - first big move of our lives .. husband couldn't adapt to the weather, or anything for that matter, for the first few years.. hated it with a passion. He's getting more and more used to it every day but's it still doesn't feel like home for him.

We had a lot of friends there and it's harder as you get older to make good friends that enjoy the same things - a lot of our neighbors are older than us so we don't have a lot in common with them.

I was okay with it and made a few friends but we both miss our good friends and family so much. Some days it's still really hard to believe we left home.

It's a different world in a lot of ways for us.

[Easy180]

Narrowed down to Yokohama, Kobe or OKC...Can't imagine the large amount of people trying to decide between these three cities

If she grew up around beaches I could see where it may be a problem, but like you said OKC is somewhat similar to Indy...From Cali to OK I can see where there could be some people not able to embrace our way of life here

[drumsncode]

Comments I've heard from people around the New York area that have been offered a chance to relocate here, or have even actually moved, are that:

We don't have real trees.
No ocean.
No mountains to ski.
No way to get around without a car.

Sadly, in many ways, I see their point. I was taken on a tour of the area from Boston up to Maine, and now I know why they say we don't have "real" trees.

[ChristianConservative]

Good traffic. Nice downtown area. Improving schools. Recreational areas like Lake Hefner Trails. Nice shopping areas.

A city doesn't have to have trees to be a nice place to live. Phoenix doesn't have many trees, yet businesses are flocking there.

[fromdust]

my girlfriend seems to like it here enough. shes been here for about six years. moved here from bulacan/manila.

[tnajk]

No trees? HA! We moved here from DENVER and LOVE all the trees around here. It's wonderful!

I guess we live in a part of OKC that has dense tress whereas the southern part of OKC doesn't? (We live in NE Edmond)

There is a forest in my backyard for goodness sake. Maybe I have never been to a place with "real trees"???

That's funny

[OU Adonis]

Its funny how Oklahoma's landscape changes depending on what part of the state you are in. Check out eastern oklahoma and its full of real trees.

I have lived in Seattle and Dallas, and I wouldn't trade OKC for anything. It still has a long way to go entertainment wise, but the people and quality of life are great.

[tnajk]

I wouldn't trade OKC for anything. It still has a long way to go entertainment wise, but the people and quality of life are great.

I couldn't agree with you more!

[Kerry]

I have lived in Northern California (chico, San Jose), Norman, and Florida (Tampa, Jacksonville) and I would move back to OKC tonight if I had the oppertunity. If OKC gets a relocated NBA team I will make every effort to relocate back to OKC.

[shane453]

I think people have confusion between "real" trees and "different" trees. Our trees are "real" trees, our landscape is a "real" landscape... It is not mountains or a forest full of 100-ft evergreens, but it is a landscape, and it's no less valid. Personally I find beauty in flat, sparsely vegetated land as well as in mountainsides and forests.

Luckily, in Oklahoma, and even within the OKC metro, we have a variety of landscapes. Indeed, according to the EPA the most varied landscape in the country, with all but two or three of the U.S. biomes.

If you want to live in OKC you have a choice between hilly, tree-covered east side and the flat, barren east side- a choice between the sophisticated suburbs on the northwest side, industrial suburbs in the south, historic inner city neighborhoods, and now urban downtown living, soon riverside urban living. OKC has lots of lifestyle options.

[rugbybrado]

, industrial suburbs in the south,

Huh?

I wouldnt see how any see how moore, westmoore, norman, or noble would be that industrial.

Maybe you should learn to drive before you start talking.

[julieriggs]

We've lived many places, from Washington state to Florida, but home is always Oklahoma. Entertained the thought of relocating to DC/NOVA or Arizona for a while... but just couldn't leave home. We love it here.

[OKC Heel]

Well, I'm not from here and I absolutely hated it when I first arrived back in Early April 1999. Matter of fact I pretty much hated it until about the last 2 years when I started noticing just how much better it's gotten since I've been here - coincidence? :wink

Don't get me wrong, I'm still going back to NC, the first chance I get, but I've decided that I will embrace my temporary home and promote it to others as best I can. It was actually kind of funny the first time found myself defending this place. For so long I had badmouthed it and now here I was sounding like a tourism ambassador for Oklahoma.

As was mentioned above, one of the things I missed first and most was the natural beauty. Not trying to beat up on Ok here, but the sides of our highways look better than most of the manicured acres in Ok. But Oklahoma has it's own kind of rustic beauty that you can't readily find in the southeast.

My friends and family's reactions have been mixed.

The only 5 things that really still bother me about Oklahoma (there's more but we're moving in the right direction with those) and that I feel certain will never get better, are the roads, the wind, and the slow drivers in the right lane, no place to get country ham biscuit or Eastern NC BBQ, and the lack of real trees and just overall natural beauty - bright, vivid, colors through Fall, spring and summer. Other than that, I've made some great friends, had some great food, enjoyed everchanging weather, had a lot of front end alignments err I mean have enjoyed the low cost of living.

[RussBraaten]

Hi Folks, This is my first post and I have to answer.

I spent the first 18 years of my like in New Your City and Connecticut and the next 20 in the San Diego area with two trys at living in Tulsa which I really didn't like. I came to visit a friend in OKC and got really sick and could not go back to San Diego.

Financially OKC is a lot easier to live in that SD but it is a lot harder to earn a good living here. SD also has perfect weather. The thing I really hate about OKC is the heat of the summer. Other things I don't like are tax on groceries, how flat it is, and how backwards it feels.

When my family moved to Tulsa from NYC we all were blown away at how friendly people were here but we realized pretty fast that people are usually nicer on a casual basis but Okies are really hard to get to know well. In all the years we have been here we have not met people that become family type friends. They seem to have lots of walls up after the initial Howdy.

I know I am generalizing but this is how a bunch of us felt. I do suspect any place you have good friends can feel comfortable and like "home".

Russ

[hipsterdoofus]

My wife is from Tulsa - I think that she likes OKC alright - her main complaint is how our street numbering doesn't make sense here as compared to Tulsa (and other cities I'm sure) and I have to wholeheartedly agree with her. But that is not a problem for someone who is from here.

[jbrown84]

and the lack of real trees and just overall natural beauty - bright, vivid, colors through Fall, spring and summer.

Have you been to Beavers Bend?

[metro]

Well, I'm not from here and I absolutely hated it when I first arrived back in Early April 1999. Matter of fact I pretty much hated it until about the last 2 years when I started noticing just how much better it's gotten since I've been here - coincidence? :wink

Don't get me wrong, I'm still going back to NC, the first chance I get, but I've decided that I will embrace my temporary home and promote it to others as best I can. It was actually kind of funny the first time found myself defending this place. For so long I had badmouthed it and now here I was sounding like a tourism ambassador for Oklahoma.

As was mentioned above, one of the things I missed first and most was the natural beauty. Not trying to beat up on Ok here, but the sides of our highways look better than most of the manicured acres in Ok. But Oklahoma has it's own kind of rustic beauty that you can't readily find in the southeast.

My friends and family's reactions have been mixed.

The only 5 things that really still bother me about Oklahoma (there's more but we're moving in the right direction with those) and that I feel certain will never get better, are the roads, the wind, and the slow drivers in the right lane, no place to get country ham biscuit or Eastern NC BBQ, and the lack of real trees and just overall natural beauty - bright, vivid, colors through Fall, spring and summer. Other than that, I've made some great friends, had some great food, enjoyed everchanging weather, had a lot of front end alignments err I mean have enjoyed the low cost of living.

I've lived here the overwhelming majority of my life and I have to say these are misconceptions that can be said of anywhere. No place is perfect nor will be. It's all personal preference. I might like the beach, but you may hate the beach. No one can say the ocean is better to live by. Especially as someone said, keep this global warming thing up, the coasts will be underwater. I've seen bad roads in every state I've been to (around 40 states), bad drivers, etc. I think a person only makes the problems they seem to have a stereotype about in the first place. After all you'll get what you're looking for (or in some cases not making an effort). If I move to say California, (which I've been to and find people very rude) I'd have the same generalization that Californian's are hard to really get to know and make lifelong friends, I'd disagree and say Oklahoman's are easier to make lifelong friends as most of mine are. I have them because I tried hard at it. No matter your origin or where your from, you have to try to make friends, etc. I agree about the Edmondite comment, it may be more superficial in most areas in Edmond since it's competing with the Jones'.

As far as the above comment with the roads never getting better, that's a lie. They get better all the time and aren't any worse than many other states. I do agree they need a lot of work, but that can be said of any state given the right area. Same thing with slow drivers, stereotype of anywhere. The only reason bigger metroplex's have "better" drivers is because there are so many people so you're forced to drive fast or get run over. This doesn't bother me as I like it, but that is the main reason bigger cities have "better drivers". OKC doesn't have the sheer population yet. There are plenty of places to get a Country Ham biscuit if you take the time to look and venture out. Check out most of the breakfast places. I used to live in Georgia near the SC/NC border and spent decent amount of time in the Carolina's so I know what a Ham Biscuit is and yes you can find them here. Get real people, this is Deep South regional item, this was not a staple food here in Oklahoma. You can find gravy just about any restaurant in Oklahoma but you have to look in Georgia or the Carolina's to find it anywhere. Although I know if I look hard enough, I'll find it. If I go to the N.E. I can find some clam chowder, etc. Geez people, you can't expect every state to be your favorite state. As far as manicured right of way's on highways, I'll agree with you on that one, we need definite improvement. Main reason is OK lacks the money. We don't have enough tax dollars or population to generate the extra tax dollars yet. I sure hope and know this will change. Just watch the new I-40 as it goes up. As far as NC BBQ ( I'm assuming your talking about vinegar based sauce and pork instead of beef). Although I'm not a big fan of chains, Rib Crib makes some mean Carolina BBQ with vinegar based sauce! I wish I had some right now. I think Van's Pig Stand also has some as well and probably other places.

Lack of real trees and wind? Last time I checked, they aren't plastic Christmas trees. Sorry we're not God, we can't change or geography and that's what makes us unique. As someone said, we're constantly ranked #1 in the nation for most diverse geography. You can go down to SE Oklahoma to the Talimena (sp?) Drive and see some real trees with bright vivid colors, etc. You can also go to Little Sahara or Beaver Dunes and be in a Desert in Oklahoma. I bet NC doesn't have a desert. You can go down to Lawton and be in the oldest mountain range in the world, or go to black mesa, caverns, red rock canyon, and many other diverse regions of Oklahoma as well. Case and point, Oklahoma is is unique place in geography just like North Carolina and everywhere else. Enjoy it while your here and make the most of it. Get out and explore! Things won't come to you, you've got to go to them!

[BDP]

The city is numbered in a simple grid. I'm not sure how they could do it any easier. It's certainly easier than anywhere else I've lived.

They seem to have lots of walls up after the initial Howdy.

My wife has had the same experience and I agree. There's a lot of niceness for show, but I think that, in turn, leads many to be impersonal or fake. Everyone kind of seems to hding something.

[Karried]

There's a lot of niceness for show, but I think that, in turn, leads many to be impersonal or fake. Everyone kind of seems to hiding something.

The vodka bottles in the trash can?

Honestly, I sort of feel the same way. People are very courteous, nice & friendly, but after that, they are involved in their lives, kids, church.
I've noticed, it seems if we don't attend church, we are not part of the OK clique..and it is harder to make friends that you want to spend time with.

I've figured out as an outsider I'm not willing to agree with some of the more Conservative views that many here in OK take and that's not always embraced by those set in their ways and closed to other ways of thinking.

For instance, if someone uses a racial slur or a homophobic insult, I'll say something about it. I'm not used to people talking like that.. it is offensive to me having grown up differently. I was raised in an area where accepting diversity of others was encouraged. I didn't always embrace the diversity in some situations (ie crime in middle school - getting my lunch money stolen) .. but I don't like generalizations, stereotypes and failure to have an open mind.

One thing I realize too is that when I miss something I tend to forget the negatives and put what I miss on an elevated pedestal .. absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. So, maybe all of my friends that I miss now are promoted to near sainthood and I'm not as open to making new friends.

Our neighbors are sweet and we all help each other if the need arises but as far as really fostering lifelong friends here in OK, I haven't really made the effort either, not yet..

[Deni]

being born and raised in Oklahoma except for about 8 years when I travelled alot.. There is so much beauty here..Want to see real trees in the fall take a tour of S E Oklahoma you will be surprised at the sights you see there.. Want to see some small mountains take a tour of medicine park or head toward arkansas..

Now as far as people being nice and then kinda brush you off.. I have noticed that alot of people that aint from Oklahoma feel that way.. Oklahomans are very protective over their state and their friendships.. I for one say I am very outgoing and friendly, if I say hi to you I will continue to get to know you. Just keep being friendly to those people and make yourself involved you will see it was you with the misconception ..

Here are the places I have lived that was a total change from Oklahoma : Utah, California, Nevada... The other places that reminded me of home was Virginia and Texas. They seem to be the same as okies very protective of who we call our friends.. Where I am from if you are a friend once you are a friend for life.

As far as Oklahoma being the bible belt ? well I disagree it used to be but now it's alot for show or expected.. I have seen many more religious people out and about on places I am sure their church would question.. I was raised pentecostal holiness.. yeah I totally changed paths, but I dont act like I am who I am not...
I dont judge people on the fact of their beliefs, but see that I am judged on the fact I dont attend the "right" church.

[jbrown84]

Karrie, I think it may be more Edmond culture that you must go to church to be in the in-crowd. Certainly half the churches in Edmond are more like country clubs than churches--the place to see and be seen.

[BDP]

Just keep being friendly to those people and make yourself involved you will see it was you with the misconception

But I think that is the conception we're talking about. People will pretend to be nice and friendly, but you really have to earn it and earning it is often based on a lot of superficial things or showing that you are "one of them". While the "in" crowd finds each other real nice and friendly, they can be scornful to people who are different. I'm not saying that it's much different anywhere else, but there is a great deal more insincere congeniality, which ultimately rings hallow.

For instance, if someone uses a racial slur or a homophobic insult, I'll say something about it. I'm not used to people talking like that.. it is offensive to me having grown up differently. I was raised in an area where accepting diversity of others was encouraged. I didn't always embrace the diversity in some situations (ie crime in middle school - getting my lunch money stolen) .. but I don't like generalizations, stereotypes and failure to have an open mind.

So true. I often say that Oklahoma's unofficial slogan should be "we're not racist, but...", as I hear that sooooo often. And again, I think that goes along with the insistence of appearing nice and friendly, when the real underlying sentiment is often different.

Again, I'm not saying that Oklahoma is any more or less friendly than anywhere else I have lived (there are a-holes everywhere and these generalizations are inaccurate more often than not), but it does seem to go more out of its way to promote itself as friendlier than it actually is. The end result is that I think we often set expectation above our actual capabilities. I think what happens is that when I go to NYC, SF, Chicago, etc. I am surprised by how nice and engaging people are and, at the same time, I am constantly floored by the number of jerks I encounter in OKC (2 today just at lunch ) Of course, I live here now, so the sample pool of potential jerks is much larger.

In the end it may just be different perceptions of what “friendly” means. Where you grew up tolerance was part of the friendliness equation, here it’s considered part of communism.

[redland]

I was born and raised in Oklahoma, but lived two years in California, 5 years in New York City, and spent 4 years traveling the world in the U.S. Navy. I love the state and would not want to live elsewhere. I like the varied climate and the abundance of sunshine. I like the landscape---e.g., the magnificent rocky Wichita Mountains in the southwest, the verdant Kiamichi Mountains in the southeast, the rugged western terrain of Black Mesa in the panhandle, etc. I particularly appreciate the relaxed pace of living here; when I moved back here from New York, it was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. That said, Oklahoma is of course not faultless, and I would like to respond to some of the remarks in earlier posts. I do find the state still too much dominated by fundamentalist churches whose members tend to be intolerant of anybody who is "different." Just check the letters in the The Oklahoman! (And, oh yes, I think the Columbia Review of Journalism was right in branding The Oklahoman the worst major daily in the nation.) Thus I think there is some truth in saying that some (certainly not all) Oklahomans may put on a show of friendliness in the beginning but then may turn a little less so as time goes by (and they find you are not one of them!). But hey I'm here to stay---and I find what's going on in downtown Oklahoma City to be really exciting. As the ad says, OKC has arrived!

[BG918]

I grew up in Tulsa and now live in Norman as an OU student. I don't live in OKC and I didn't come up that often until about 2 years ago. I think more OU students should get out of Norman and take advantage of OKC but many don't, for whatever reason. I am very impressed by the downtown revitalization and that will have a big impact on making OKC a successful major city. However just when good things happen like the Skirvin renovation and the ballpark, there are things that happen in OKC that just wouldn't happen in other places like the lower Bricktown mess.

However OKC is getting better, and with time is becoming more of an urban city which is good. I still think the city has some very ugly parts and that is what many cite as a reason they don't like it here. However it's not any uglier than Dallas and people flock there. I just think people here need to care more about their surroundings and demand that greedy developers put more trees in their projects, build to urban standards, encourage sustainability, etc.

As a liberal person it can definitely be frustrating to live here, much easier in Norman though. I personally really like central Norman, downtown/midtown OKC, and Lake Hefner. I avoid the other parts of the city. I plan on moving away for awhile but I would definitely return to either OKC or Tulsa if I had a good job here. Contrary to what most people say I love Oklahoma weather plus my family lives here.