Jack
02-28-2006, 09:14 PM
What's your favorite thing to do on the toilet?
View Full Version : Favorite thing to do on toilet Jack 02-28-2006, 09:14 PM What's your favorite thing to do on the toilet? Midtowner 02-28-2006, 09:15 PM Jack, have you been on the toilet all night? Seriously, lay off the drugs man. TheImmortal 02-28-2006, 10:49 PM Umm well..the natural thing you do on the toilet. And yes watch the drugs, lets stick with Jack in the Box not Crack in the Box. mranderson 03-01-2006, 10:04 AM Someone must be really bored to come up with this thread. Patrick 03-01-2006, 12:20 PM I'd have to say reading the newspaper, or working on homework or something. Jack 03-01-2006, 12:23 PM Guys, it was a valid question. If you don't like it, choose not to participate. Jack 03-02-2006, 10:05 PM I personally like to poop. Midtowner 03-02-2006, 10:26 PM I'd have to say reading the newspaper, or working on homework or something. So wait.. if someone buys your used books, they can pretty much count on the fact that you were pooping when you read them. I'm glad I'm not in med school :) gbyte 03-03-2006, 12:01 AM Using the bathroom at work (http://www.jomonkey.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=123&view=next&sid=d6bc36b4e67a941694063ae050109225) Jack 03-03-2006, 12:20 AM Thanks for the good list of suggestions gbyte. I'll print it off and put it on my desk at work, and take it with me when I have to go to the bathroom. Faith 03-03-2006, 12:09 PM My husband likes to talk on the phone when in the bathroom. And a few of my sisters do the same. I don't think I will ever understand their way of thinking. My husband also likes to sing in the bathroom. Whether he is taking a shower, shaving, or using the toilet he sings alot. Patrick 03-03-2006, 12:36 PM So wait.. if someone buys your used books, they can pretty much count on the fact that you were pooping when you read them. I'm glad I'm not in med school :) Yeah, we have to practice the genital exam while we're on the pot. LOL!. Karried 03-03-2006, 12:51 PM gbyte, I had to post this in case someone didn't catch the link.. I am laughing so hard, I have tears! This is so funny: HOW TO POOP AT WORK We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all been working in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. CROP DUSTING When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants. FLY BY The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom. ESCAPEE A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy. JAILBREAK When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred. COURTESY FLUSH The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME. WALK OF SHAME Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom.. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you.. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH. OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom. THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS. SAFE HAVENS A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex (L*O*V*E*). This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex (L*O*V*E*) entering the bathroom. TURD BURGLAR Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. CAMO-COUGH A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE. ASTAIRE A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace. WATERMELON A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH. HAVANAOMELET A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire. You can also use that moment to noisily procure a handful of toilet paper. UNCLE TED A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees. Jack 03-03-2006, 12:56 PM Ever tried to cook dinner on the pot? That's an interesting one. BDP 03-03-2006, 01:31 PM I use my laptop to post on OKCtalk.com. Karried 03-03-2006, 01:41 PM ewwwwwwww LOL - now I have a visual going thanks BDP! :Smiley275 gbyte 03-03-2006, 02:04 PM Yeah they are pretty funny....I have seen a few of them off/on before and after seeing a big list had to dig it up for this thread :) As a kid / teenager I used to read alot while on the toilet. Nowadays I just think about all the different little things I need to get done and what to do about each... Keith 03-04-2006, 05:01 PM My husband likes to talk on the phone when in the bathroom. And a few of my sisters do the same. I don't think I will ever understand their way of thinking. My husband also likes to sing in the bathroom. Whether he is taking a shower, shaving, or using the toilet he sings alot. Gross.....I could never talk on the phone while sitting on the toilet. As a matter of fact, the bathroom is probably the only place I don't take my cell phone. I used to take my cell phone in the bathroom with me, but the echo was terrible. Those on the other line knew exactly where I was at. Actually, my bathroom time is thinking time.........and concentrating time. No singing, no talking, and no reading, just thinking. Plop Plop Fizz Fizz, Oh what a relief it is...........:tweeted: and I can't believe I am actually posting on this thread. Randy 03-04-2006, 07:47 PM Gross.....I could never talk on the phone while sitting on the toilet. As a matter of fact, the bathroom is probably the only place I don't take my cell phone. I used to take my cell phone in the bathroom with me, but the echo was terrible. Those on the other line knew exactly where I was at. Actually, my bathroom time is thinking time.........and concentrating time. No singing, no talking, and no reading, just thinking. Plop Plop Fizz Fizz, Oh what a relief it is...........:tweeted: and I can't believe I am actually posting on this thread. I can talk on the phone and eat a sandwich when I am on the toilet. I have two hands and I keep them busy. The smell doesn't bother me, although the sandwich does start smelling funny after a while. I also like to eat prunes while pooping. Sometimes it seems like I will never get off the crapper. mranderson 03-04-2006, 08:20 PM Writing posts on OKC Talk is a favorite thing to do during those times. Jack 03-06-2006, 10:41 AM I saw an ape once at the zoo who kept wiping his but, then putting his hand in his mouth. I think he was eating it. Jack 03-06-2006, 10:42 AM What is your favorite thing to do in the bathroom? upisgr8 03-06-2006, 12:00 PM http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e268/upisgr8/rretarded.jpg http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e268/upisgr8/instructions.jpg AFCM 03-10-2006, 03:44 PM I guess I'm the only one who acts out an imaginary interview with Guitar magazine in my head. "Guitar Magazine: Your new album, soon to be released, has a great sound to it. Let's start by talking about the great riffs and time signatures your band incorporated. What was the inspiration behind that? AFCM: Well, as you know I've always been greatly influenced by Metallica and...." Come on, am I the only one who still dreams of making it big? |