I only did a cursory search on the topic, so I apologize if this has been discussed already.

I need some advice/opinions. Our dog - a shepherd/akita mix - is coming up on her 14th birthday, and she is going through holy heck physically. She can only walk so far before she falls down (arthritis in both back legs), and it was thought that she might have some form of cancer in her kidneys. The vet was able to clear up the kidney problem, but was unable to determine if it was cancerous or not because of her advanced age. We give her medicine to ease the pain, but honestly, we have no clue as to whether or not it's actually working. Also, because of her age, surgery is most likely not an option at this time.

Without going into more details, I'll just get to the point:

Are we being selfish for keeping her alive, when we know she's miserable and her quality of life probably won't get better? Are we bad owners for wanting her to just go peacefully instead of taking the euthanasia route?

The wife and I hate ourselves for wishing she'd just give up, but then we remember what we've been through all of these years and come to the realization that "nah, she won't give up!" and go back to cherishing the time we have left with her.

Thanks for letting me vent, and your comments are welcome and appreciated.

Sounds like it is time as painful as it will be...had to let our 8yr old min pin go last year after spending 5k in vain...It was definitely painful but we were comforted knowing we did all we could and it sounds like you did the same

I had to put down my beloved companion of 17 years (my black lab spaniel mix) a couple of years ago and I think it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't still think of him though we have a new dog. I think when I took him, it was the right time. My situation was when I watched him and he was happy, I felt like his life still had enjoyment and value and he wanted to live. As his congestive heart failure got worse, I could see the look in his eyes that he wasn't happy anymore. Everything was a strain and his seizures took a toll on him. Finally, the night came that he seized during the night. He recoverd but just wined and didn't want to move and just had a "look" in his eye. I knew it was time.

I am sorry for what you will have to do but understand that your friend will know its for the best, too.

Unfortunately... Been wondering what to do with my dog when he dies... He's 153 pounds as of last vet appointment...

My heart goes out to you, best wishes to you and your wife. This is the hardest decision to make. Don't feel selfish.

Unfortunately... Been wondering what to do with my dog when he dies... He's 153 pounds as of last vet appointment...

When our dog's congestive heart failure became so bad that she was suffering horribly--it was the middle of the night, about 3 AM, we took her to a wonderful Vet ER up on Memorial [at that time they were open 24/7]; they did a good exam to "make certain there was no hope" [we stood and watched], and then the doctor gently recommended having her "put to sleep." We did. Both hubby and I were crying.

Then, the doctor asked what we wanted to do with her body. We were taken completely aback. I guess the look on our faces spoke volumes. He told us about the pet cemetery out in East Okla. County. We could pay to have her buried, or pay for a cremation [wasn't expensive, but that was several years ago]. We opted for the cremation.

The cemetery delivered our beloved dog's ashes directly to our regular vet, who then called us. He [the regular vet] told us that we did the right thing.

Maybe this is something for all of you raising this issue some ideas. Please ask your regular vet for suggestions. Hope this helps.

So sorry you are having to go through this. Every dog I have had lived to be in geriatric age. It is sad to see them get old and sick.

I got my first dog, a doxie/pekingnese mix when I was 9. She lived to be almost 18. Needless to say, letting go was very difficult. She was blind, deaf and had dementia but I didn't want to have her put to sleep because that's what was convenient to me. She didn't seem to be in any pain. She ended up dying of old age. Ten years later, I realize I let her live much longer than I should have.

I knew with the next dog I had, a dalmatian, if things ever got that bad I would have to have her put to sleep. She stayed healthy except for arthritis before dying unexpectedly from congestive heart failure at 13.

One thing my vet explained to me with her was that dogs will always be on their best behavior when they are around us, so they don't always let their people know when they are sick. It is up to us, as hard as it is, to recognize signs and know when it is time.

I bought a book, "Caring for Older Dogs," that is very helpful.

Hope that helps!

When our dog's congestive heart failure became so bad that she was suffering horribly--it was the middle of the night, about 3 AM, we took her to a wonderful Vet ER up on Memorial [at that time they were open 24/7]; they did a good exam to "make certain there was no hope" [we stood and watched], and then the doctor gently recommended having her "put to sleep." We did. Both hubby and I were crying.

Then, the doctor asked what we wanted to do with her body. We were taken completely aback. I guess the look on our faces spoke volumes. He told us about the pet cemetery out in East Okla. County. We could pay to have her buried, or pay for a cremation [wasn't expensive, but that was several years ago]. We opted for the cremation.

The cemetery delivered our beloved dog's ashes directly to our regular vet, who then called us. He [the regular vet] told us that we did the right thing.

Maybe this is something for all of you raising this issue some ideas. Please ask your regular vet for suggestions. Hope this helps.
That is exactly my experience. With the first dog, we buried her in the backyard, but she was tiny.

Are we being selfish for keeping her alive, when we know she's miserable and her quality of life probably won't get better? Are we bad owners for wanting her to just go peacefully instead of taking the euthanasia route?

I don't think you are bad owners. No one thinks that "this" will be the last day. It is just so hard. And every situation is different - are you talking days, hours, weeks?

What struck me was your phrase that you know she is miserable. It sounds like it will not be long before she is gone and you will be looking back and second guessing yourself, no matter what. You could do everything "right," and you'll still do that. You have to make your own decision but sometimes, the greatest gift you can give them is not a few more days or weeks, but a good death following a good life.

A dear friend of mine just had to put her dog down. The dog was a greyhound and had been diagnosed with bone cancer. They knew there was no hope and they had a choice to put her down or amputate and get her another, perhaps 6 months. Because she was a greyhound, she loved to run. They couldn't bear to have her have to give up that pleasure during the six months so they opted to allow her to go in her own time. They started to confine her because her bones were so brittle that they would easily break. But then, they realized that the reason they hadn't put her through the amputation was because she genuinely loved to run.

About two weeks after they reached that decision, she begged to go run with her dog mates. They hesitated but then let her go. Horribly, her leg snapped and she was in a great deal of pain. They knew that was the day they had to let her go. She settled down, became peaceful and kissed them while they held her and let her go.

My friend is greiving horribly, but she thinks she did the right thing. She put the dog first, always. She gave her a good life and a good death and that is the best we can do.

My heart dog was diagnosed with melanoma, a particularly deadly form of cancer. Her only chance was a newly released vaccination and radiation. her quality of life was excellent - she didn't know she was sick. We spent over $10,000.00 to cure her and she beat it. Six weeks later, we took her in for a routine biopsy to check her progress and they had to sedate her for the procedure. She died on the table of complications but they brought her back when we called her name. But the damage was too great and later that evening, we had to let her go. it nearly killed me. The biopsy came back and she'd beat the cancer but she was still gone. Sometimes, the best you do isn't enough.

I wish you the best and hope you know how sorry I am.

Unfortunately... Been wondering what to do with my dog when he dies... He's 153 pounds as of last vet appointment...

We've cremated our last two dogs and keep them in nice wooden boxes on the dresser with their picture on the top. That has been a good solution for us and we plan to do the same thing the next time we lose one of our girls even though we have land to bury them.

Gosh reading this just makes me depressed. My dog suffered a fibro cartilaginous embolism (spinal stroke) this past January and I was prepared to put him to sleep if his prognosis wasn't positive. Thankfully he recovered his ability to walk again, although he does require the use of diapers to keep poo from landing everywhere. It's kind of funny to see a 26 year old guy buying baby diapers with no wife or baby in tow.

I'm so sorry you are faced with making this decision. I've had to do it twice and both times I thought my heart would literally break, but after the initial grief I was able to accept that it was the best decision for my pets. As excruciating as it was for me, letting them go peacefully was the best gift I had ever given them. I had always heard that our pets let us know when it is time, and mine did. You will know when the time comes.

There is a lovely poem called the Rainbow Bridge that I was given when I had my sweet Lhasa buried at Precious Pets Cemetery. It gave me hope that someday I will see my babies again. It might help you and your wife, too.

The Rainbow Bridge
inspired by a Norse legend
By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.
For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.

On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.
No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.
For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.
The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.

Any suggestions for how to help kids who are old enough to be skeptical of the "all dogs go to heaven" and rainbow bridge theories? My son cannot remember life without our oldest dog and he's been grieving terribly in advance. We've basically not put her to sleep because of him, but I am not sure I can stand to see her like this much longer. She's deaf, cannot see well, somewhat arthritic and seems to have doggy alzheimers.

Any suggestions for how to help kids who are old enough to be skeptical of the "all dogs go to heaven" and rainbow bridge theories? My son cannot remember life without our oldest dog and he's been grieving terribly in advance. We've basically not put her to sleep because of him, but I am not sure I can stand to see her like this much longer. She's deaf, cannot see well, somewhat arthritic and seems to have doggy alzheimers.

If your child is old enough to be skeptical, all you can really do is offer him a shared grief and hope in the future. We all have to learn at some point about death and dogs are sort of the traditional human experience tht so many of us go through since they are so dearly loved but have a shorter life span. And it sucks.

But as for your situation where you are allowing your dog to suffer to spare your son - in my opinion, you aren't teaching him about life or death but about suffering. If it were my situation, I would be inclinded to take charge, make sure my child understood that death is part of life, and let him know that you won't allow any of your loved ones to suffer if you can help it. He will grieve - and he should - but the loss of a pet is part of life when you bring a puppy into the family. He won't start to heal and move beyond his grief while he watches his dog suffer.

I wanted to lay down and die when I lost Jezebel and I am an adult. I was given the Rainbow Bridge poem by a number of people (I was already aware of it) and it gave me no solace whatsoever. I wanted my girl. I missed her cute ways and how she loved me and her enthusiasm for squirrel chasing and looking down to see her laying by the shower door when I took a shower, and having her crowd up next to my head in the middle of the night because she wanted to be close, and how she had a ghastly bark and how she raced to dinner and, and, and...

But I can look back and know that she had a good life. And that life goes on even after she left. I didn't want another puppy after losing her but our other dog was grieving so we got one for her. It was the best move because it brought back life and joy and helped me heal. If you are a dog family, consider getting a puppy when you are ready because that magic brought me back to life.

Eventually, your son will remember the good times rather than the death. But if he is watching her suffer, he will have a lot more bad memories to replace. And he may be more ready to let her go than you realize. If it is hard for you to see her that way, I suspect it is hard for him, too. But he can't say to let her go - he is too young. But you can.

I agree with PQ. The key is suffering. Your son should be able to rationalize the concept that he doesn't want to see his pet suffer and be in agonizing pain.

Thank you everyone, for your kind words and suggestions. We're going to call the vet this morning and try to get some advice (although I already know what he's going to say: "It's your decision").

We have some big decisions to make in the next couple of days/weeks.

Again, thank you all.

Thank you everyone, for your kind words and suggestions. We're going to call the vet this morning and try to get some advice (although I already know what he's going to say: "It's your decision").

We have some big decisions to make in the next couple of days/weeks.

Again, thank you all.

You are in my thoughts. It is a hard road. I hope you get some good advice. You never know - I once had a friend who took her dog in to be put down and the vet suggested "one last thing," and it did the trick. And this was a seasoned and loving dog owner. You never think this will be the day, though.

UPDATE:

We took her for her last visit to the vet on Friday, August 6th. Very strange, in that she usually puts up a fight and lets the fur fly when the doctor tries to lay a hand on her, but this time, it was almost as if she knew...just one little snarl.

A public "thank you" to the staff of Meadow Wood Animal Hospital in Lawton, for their patience, assistance and understanding. I know they do these things on a regular basis, but this was our first experience as actual owners...the little things meant a lot.

Oh, I am so sorry but it sounds like you are feeling more at peace. My husband was convinced that our old girl knew what was going on when he took her in and was okay with it - and he isn't the sentimental type. I hope your son is handling it, okay. My sympathies.

That's the sucky thing about pets; they don't live as long as we do. I can't imagine my home without at least one, though.

That's the sucky thing about pets; they don't live as long as we do. I can't imagine my home without at least one, though.

I agree, skyrick, but at the same time, I think it would be worse for them to outlive us because they might not be as well taken care of. A lot of rescues (the lucky ones) are the result of family members who surrender a dog when its owner passes away. The notion of my dogs confused, perhaps split up or, god forbid, dumped, if I died would give me nightmares if I dwelled on it. I've asked my kids (who aren't in a position to take my girls) to entrust my girls to members of my Samoyed group to be placed in a loving home in the event that my husband and I die unexpectedly. The samoyed group will make sure they remain together and continue to be treated like the princesses they are! (and I've set aside funds to provide care, including pain meds, if needed).